Dating 16 year old

Loveisrespect. org

Ending Unhealthy Relationships

Today's post was written by Alexis O. a member of the National Youth Advisory Board. To learn more about the NYAB, click here .

When I was growing up, I watched my mother fall in and out of love with men who were nothing but bad for her. There was never a day when my mother and her man of the week weren’t at each others throats, and I watched, day after day as he verbally and physically abused her. Later in the day she would go crawling back, because she thought no one else would want her - a thought put in her head by the same person who had earlier called her a “stupid slut.” I always knew somewhere deep down that their behavior was abnormal, and I swore to myself to never end up like my mother had.

And I have not. Very few people know about the way I grew up. I disclose as little of my past as possible, because I believe that my past is no longer a part of me. But everyone knows about my refusal to be treated as less than, and my boyfriends over the years have had to learn that as well. There has only been one incident where my partner treated me as less than a goddess and in the end, I broke up with him.

I say that like it was easy, though. It was not. I knew that he was wrong for me from the minute he told me that I was his girlfriend so he could do whatever he wanted to me, whenever he wanted. This came after I got angry with him for being too clingy and grabby in public. When I thought it over later and decided to break up with him, I tried. But he cried and told me he was sorry, and that it would never happen again, and that he loved me more than anyone he had ever met, and I couldn’t do it. That’s the thing about abusers. They are not wholly evil. And they are damn good liars that sometimes they even fool themselves. But if they get away with something once, they start pushing their boundaries and pretty soon they are telling you that they didn’t rape you because you never said no, in fact you didn’t say anything. That’s when I realized if I didn’t break up with this boy, I would marry him and have children with him and be forced to spend my life with a man I didn’t love telling me that what I did or didn’t want wasn’t important. I remembered that promise I made to myself as I little girl to never end up like my mother, and I left.

The thing about unhealthy relationships is that we want to believe that person can change. We want to believe that if we stick around they will stop insulting us to keep us with them longer. That they will get over their rough patch in life and they won’t have to hit us when we mess up. But I am here to tell you as a survivor of multiple types of abuse that they don’t change, and it is important to realize that. I wish I could say that you can change them. That if you want it enough, and try enough, your partner will stop hitting you, insulting you, isolating you. But for a person to change, they have to want it, and abusers are oftentimes in denial about who they are, so they are going to get angry for you even suggesting there is something wrong with who they are as a person. If you find yourself dating someone who hits you, even once, it's not okay. You have the right to tell someone. Your partner is going to make you feel like you are scum for trying to make them look bad, but you should not be ashamed of defending yourself, and preserving your well-being. It is not your fault they abuse you, physically, verbally, or emotionally. It is never your fault.

Healthy relationships should be based off of equality and respect, not control and power. In a healthy relationship you are not afraid of your partner's anger, because they aren’t a threat to you. You feel safe, supported, happy, and excited to be around each other. You respect each other, have lives that are separate from each other, but can come back and be a unit at any given time. In healthy relationships, both parties have a right to privacy. If your partner is forcing you to allow them to read your text messages or emails or Facebook messages, there is a problem.

Remember, love is respect. And you deserve that. Don’t settle for anything less.

If you are seeing some of the warning signs that your relationship might be unhealthy or abusive, our peer advocates are here to help! Call, chat or text anytime, 24/7.

16-Year-Old Girl Fatally Shoots Gamer For His PS4 While Her Baby Looks On: Cops

Danny Zeitz was shot and killed Friday over a PS4. A GoFundMe page has been set up to help his family with funeral costs.

A teen girl shot and killed a man as she and her boyfriend tried to rob the victim of his Playstation 4, police say.

The victim, 28-year-old Daniel John Zeitz of Roswell, Georgia (pictured), met up with the couple Friday after posting a Craigslist ad to sell the gaming console. The alleged shooter is an unnamed 16-year-old girl whose 16-month-old baby was sitting in the car. only a few feet away during the robbery, according to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

Sandy Springs police Sgt. Ron Momon told the paper that the suspect and her boyfriend, 20-year-old Nathaniel Vivian, met Zeitz in an apartment parking lot, posing as potential buyers.

The suspects were sitting in their car when Zeitz approached at about 9:30 p. m. Vivian allegedly tried to pull the PS4 into the car. When Zeitz resisted, his girlfriend allegedly pulled the trigger on her .25 caliber handgun, sending a bullet through Vivian's hand and into Zeitz's chest, killing him.

Vivian and the girl were arrested later that night when they went to Northside Hospital to treat Vivian's gunshot wound, police said.

"Brookhaven police were at the hospital interviewing the injured man, who told them he was a victim of a crime in Brookhaven, but later told them he was shot while he and his girlfriend were at the Legends of Dunwoody Apartments to rob a man of his PS4 video gaming system that was advertised on Craigslist," Momon said.

Nathaniel Vivian

Vivian was held without bond in the Fulton County Jail. The child was turned over to the girl's relatives.

Zeitz -- known to his online buddies as Phobos -- was a well-respected gamer whose teammates have rallied to support his family with a GoFundMe page to cover his funeral costs. The cause has already raised more than $14,500.

K. L. Smith, Zeitz's online teammate and friend who helped start the fundraiser, told The Huffington Post that their team members may have been the last to speak to the victim.

"Shortly before the shooting he was playing with his other teammates and said, 'Hey guys, I'll be right back,'" Smith said Tuesday morning. "I guess that's when he went outside to do this Craigslist deal and got shot."

Smith, known online as arCtiC, posted a heartfelt video on YouTube remembering his buddy as a kind soul who reached out whenever their friends were down.

"Danny was one of those rare people that has all the right qualities -- super nice and friendly to people he didn't know," Smith told HuffPost Crime. "He was always helping his teammates, his family, his friends. It always hurts to have to see how much someone means to everyone else when they're gone."

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Online dating service

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Online dating ( OD ) or Internet dating is a personal introductory system whereby individuals can find and contact each other over the Internet to arrange a date. usually with the objective of developing a personal, romantic, or sexual relationship. Online dating services usually provide unmoderated matchmaking over the Internet. through the use of personal computers or cell phones. Users of an online dating service would usually provide personal information, to enable them to search the service provider's database for other individuals. Members use criteria other members set, such as age range, gender and location.

Online dating sites use market metaphors to match people. Match Metaphors are conceptual frameworks that allow individuals to make sense of new concepts by drawing upon familiar experiences and frame-works. This metaphor of the marketplace – a place where people go to “shop” for potential romantic partners and to “sell” themselves in hopes of creating a successful romantic relationship – is highlighted by the layout and functionality of online dating websites. The marketplace metaphor may also resonate with participants’ conceptual orientation towards the process of? nding a romantic partner. [ 1 ] Most sites allow members to upload photos or videos of themselves and browse the photos and videos of others. Sites may offer additional services, such as webcasts. online chat. telephone chat (VOIP ), and message boards. Some sites provide free registration, but may offer services which require a monthly fee. Other sites depend on advertising for their revenue. Some sites such as OKCupid, Plenty of Fish and Badoo are free and offer additional paid services in a freemium revenue model. [ 2 ]

Some sites are broad-based, with members coming from a variety of backgrounds looking for different types of relationships. Other sites are more specific, based on the type of members, interests, location, or relationship desired. A 2005 study of data collected by the Pew Internet & American Life Project found that individuals are more likely to use an online dating service if they use the internet for a greater amount of tasks and less likely to use such a service if they are trusting of others. [ 3 ]