Dating vs marriage

Courting vs. Dating: What Does It All Mean?

What was meant to be a nice, ‘food coma’-inducing meal at Chipotle Mexican Grill , paired with a pleasant conversation between my boyfriend and I, quickly shifted gears, taking a turn for the worse. The monster that reared its ugly head this time was the seemingly unassuming, yet ever-lingering debate on dating versus courting. Do we really even know what either of those words mean? Or, are they just synonyms of each other–two different words essentially meaning the same thing?

One of the boys at my church’s youth group recently turned 18 years old. As is commonly done to most ‘men’ this age, the heckling and teasing began shortly after the birthday cake had been cut. When asked if he had a girlfriend yet, or if he was dating anyone, this freshly minted man stated, “I don’t date…I court”. When asked if he even knew what that meant, he promptly replied with an earnest, “no”. This sort of answer in regards to dating is commonly heard at any church youth group, or even young adult groups, for that matter. Why is there such a confusion about dating and/or courting? Are parents, teachers, or youth pastors slacking off when it comes to discussing this topic with young people, or is this whole notion of there even being a difference between the two words unfounded?

According to Skip Burzumato of Boundless Webzine . in “the early 20th century, courtship involved one man and one woman spending intentional time together in order to get to know each other with the expressed purpose of evaluating the other as a potential husband or wife”. This was usually done in a private setting, such as the girl’s home, and monitored by people closest to her, such as her parents. In this case, my understanding has always been that the man was already interested in the possibility of marrying the girl in question, but had to make his intentions known not only to her, but also to her family, which would explain why he showed up at her house in the first place, donned in his Sunday best, holding flowers in his shaky hands. Burzumato goes on to explain that dating, as we understand it today, is just an added element to the “system of courtship”. Dating allows multiple possibilities for a potential spouse, diverting from a cultural, scripted method, to a more “multi-layered, ambiguous system”. So, although you may be dating, the ultimately goal remains–finding someone to marry. Courtship states that you pick someone you are interested in marrying and then get to know them, while dating says you get to know someone, and then see if you would like to marry them. So, the difference here is incredibly small, but still present, nonetheless, and deserves some attention.

I’m sure you’ve all heard your grandma or mother say, “why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free”, at some point in your lives. As crazy as Granny may seem at times, she’s usually right. The problem I find with dating, is that there is no accountability in place. Burzumato also explained that with the onset of “the date” in the 1930’s and 40’s came leaving the private setting of the girl’s home, to going out and “parking the car”. Hopefully I don’t have to paint you a picture as to what he means by that; most of you are old enough, and have vivid enough imaginations to figure it out. Once Daddy isn’t watching, both the girl and guy are free to do whatever they please, without the pressure to tie the knot. Although this doesn’t mean all dating couples are dropping their pants, it does ease the pressure of stating your intentions from the get-go; accountability has been lost with the element of ‘dating’. I’d be hard pressed to find someone who says they are “courting for fun”, whereas plenty of people go on dates with random people, without really getting to know them outside of a romantic context, simply because it’s fun. In those cases, the intent to marry the person is not there, and if marriage is the whole point of dating, then both parties ‘dating for fun’ are simply wasting their time.

Most people with a lasting relationship and loving marriage will tell you they are best friends, or that their relationship started off as a friendship and grew into love. I believe that is where courtship comes into play – when two friends fall in love, want to get married, and begin a courtship. Both the man and woman are aware that their relationship is leading to marriage, and in due time, they will tie the knot. Granted, they are more than likely to say they are “dating”, as that word is most commonly used in today’s society, but essentially, they are courting. With dating, the ambiguity of the relationship and its unclear future, can be both disturbing and heartbreaking. Intentions need to be made exceptionally clear right from the onset, so that both the man and woman can act accordingly. If you’re dating to get to know someone, good luck, because let’s face it, most people are on their best behaviour on a ‘just a date’. If you build a friendship first, then you already know the person, and in courting them, you see if they would be a suitable spouse for you. Unless you are ready to get married, don’t bother dating, because then it just defeats the whole purpose of dating, which is marriage.

I may be old-fashioned, but I believe there is an inherent difference between courting and dating. Accountability is important for any successful relationship; lay out your intentions in stone. Know what you want and respect the person you are with, or want to be with, enough to make sure they are aware of what you want – courting ensures this, dating doesn’t. Dating leaves you wondering, questioning, and unsure. So, although I think it’s lame when Christians say, “I don’t date…I court”, as long as you know what you’re talking about when you say that, or are able to back up your statement, it’s fine. Otherwise…just don’t.

So, what happened that day at Chipotle Mexican Grill when the monster of the dating vs. courting clawed into my lovely evening with my boyfriend? Well, let’s just say, I was right, and that monster won’t be third-wheeling on our dates ever again.

Octavia Ahsan

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Octavia Ahsan is a writer/blogger from Brampton, a suburb outside of Toronto, ON. In 2010 she received a Bachelors degree in Science from McMaster University. and founded a charitable organization called CompassionActs. In March 2012 she founded The PODIUM, where she also serves as the Editor-in-Chief. She frequently writes for MilkandHoneyMedia. co. uk. a popular Christian girls blog based out of London, England, as well as her personal blog site OctaviaFaith. com. In her spare time, she likes to hunt for the best burrito in Toronto (Chipotle Mexican Grill holds the spot so far).

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Опубликовано: 23 дек. 2013 г.

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Dating Beautiful Bulgarian and Russian Women

How to meet and date these beautiful women? Dear Gentlemen,

On East European dating sites, you will find thousands of women that are beautiful, intelligent, educated, fit, stylish and sexy – and, amazingly enough, at the same time unattached and available for dating. You are most welcomed to register and create your dating profile today, it is all free of cost. Then you can send short notes to the women you like and find out who is interested in getting to know you, also free of cost. You will also get free access to the full dating database of thousands of dating profiles of Beautiful East European women as only a portion of them is included in our gallery - with a free membership you can discover many more drop dead beautiful ladies looking for a man just like you than those featured in the galleries. Most of the ladies on this dating website are originally from Bulgaria and the rest are from Russia, Ukraine, Kazakhstan, Moldova, Belarus, Latvia, Lithuania, Tajikistan, Poland, Czech Republic, etc. One point worth marking is that at Sesile you will find many women of East European origin living in the West - mostly London, UK, USA, Spain, Italy, Germany, Holland. That makes it much easier to meet so called “East European brides" in person rather than pay hundreds of euros to russian marriage agencies for translations of letters and costly trips. All our services are totally free for ladies ("girls date for free"), while men can optionally upgrade to premium membership, but only if they wish to meet the ladies in person or exchange contact details. The cost of premium membership is far lower than most other Russian, Polish or Bulgarian marriage and dating agencies or so called “dating mail order brides” dating services.

Will I really find a much younger wife/girlfriend on the East European dating websites?

If you are looking for a younger woman to date try and keep the age difference between you to no more than 13 years for Bulgarian ladies and 16 years for Russian ladies. The reason for the slight difference in dating is the imbalance in the population in Russia; due to sheer lack of men it is simply harder to find a husband for Russian brides or Russian women. In some cases in Russia one can find a woman much younger partner for dating but remember, the greater your age difference, the less the chances of your marriage surviving and more chances of getting married to someone who has no feelings for you, but plenty of financial plans. You will be able to find subservient women in some other countries such as Thailand, Philippines, Vietnam, Korea, Laos etc. Beautiful young Asian girls will absolutely readily marry men much older than themselves! Just keep in mind that their motivation for this may not be as pure as you think and you may find yourself wifeless once she has got citizenship/money through marrying you. If you register at a Russian dating service (also known as internet dating /marriage agency) and find out that lots of much younger women are contacting you eagerly for dating - you will know for sure you have landed at a scam dating website.

Russian woman vs Bulgarian woman, which is the right date for you?

Before eagerly grabbing a ‘bride' for yourself please pay attention to these indicators of the cultural differences between dating Bulgarian women and dating Russian women.

Bulgarian ladies have free access to Europe without a visa and can on the one hand easily find employment outside Bulgaria and on the other hand visit you without fiancee visa complications if you intend to take your relationship to the next level. Some Russian ladies will be more inclined to seek a foreign husband for the simple reason of being less financially secure. This does not mean that you can just walk into a Russian marriage - the Russian women are choosy when it comes to men. The terms "Russian mail order brides" and "Russian mail order wives", widely used by Americans, can be quite misleading as it almost creates the impression that the ladies would agree to marry just about anybody, which is miles far from the truth.

Both Bulgarian ladies and Russian brides are amazingly beautiful women but you will find that a greater percentage of Russian girls will have professional or better quality photos. Bulgarian women are less likely to have professional photos; they are more likely to take a few quick snapshots with their web cam. Many profiles of single Bulgarian girls will have low quality pictures and the girls will be much better looking in real life. If you are looking for a Russian wife, a Russian lady to marry, or a so called "mail order bride" then you will find that most of the Russian women are on this site for that purpose only. Bulgarian girls usually have computers at home and will reply your messages faster and tend to invite you to video chat on Skype, while the Russian females will take longer to answer and are interested in a more formal correspondence by letters.

Most Bulgarian women on Sesile do look for a husband, but probably 30% seek just chat online and pen pals of their own age from another country and are less likely to be willing to leave their country and settle abroad. A much larger percentage of Bulgarian women are financially independent compared to their Russian counterparts and are not driven by financially desperate conditions to search for a husband and marriage abroad.

When you start thinking about meeting your chosen East European lady face to face, there are several distinct differences between Bulgaria and Russia. To visit your Bulgarian bride you will not need a visa (exceptions are South Africa and a few other countries). Singles entertainment in Bulgaria is very affordable with lots of good cheap restaurants. Your money will go a lot further than in Western European countries or Moscow (believed to be the most expensive city on the planet by many. ). Bulgaria is much safer than Russia with much less violent crime on the streets. Russia on the other hand is very expensive and not very safe. The Russian Mafia runs the cities and bribery and corruption are abundant. Airline tickets are also more expensive because of the greater distance to travel for meeting the Russian lady of your choice.

Once you have met with your Bulgarian bride or perhaps Russian bride and you find out that you cannot live without each other you will consider taking her home with you. For the Bulgarian ladies this is much easier as they can move unrestricted around Europe and more and more visit visas for the USA are being granted to Bulgarians (we have heard that some 50% of the people who apply do get them). It is far more difficult to get a Russian lady out of Russia as the IMBRA law makes it very difficult and potentially a lot more expensive to get a fiancee visa and a simple visit visa is out of the question.

Another consideration with eastern European women seen as potential future wives is that younger, city ladies are less likely to have the traditional family values that many western men seek in their future East European bride. If you are particularly after a lady with these values we recommend that you consider the Bulgarian brides and Russian brides above the age of 30 and also from outside the big cities.

Don't expect to find a lady to work as a domestic slave in any country, Bulgaria, Poland, Ukraine, Russia, etc. Besides the western influence the ladies of those regions have the tradition of a good education and are not prone to becoming domestic servants after marriage.

When meeting your chosen East European lady face to face for dating you will quite likely need a translator for your Russian lady yet hardly ever with a Bulgarian lady. The reason for this is Bulgaria being a part of the European Union; most of the ladies have traveled abroad and mingled more with western dating culture. Good luck on our free dating site!

Bear in mind the following - if you intend marrying one of these "Russian brides" and have a family. You will find that Bulgarian women are not generally eagerly waiting to get married very quickly. There are no pressing external factors that would cause this and usually they are patient and sincere. On the other hand the Russian woman of your dreams will marry you far more readily as this may well be the only way for you to be together because of the visa constrains. She will obviously also feel more secure about living with you should you be willing to make this commitment. Good luck dating!

We hope that this article by Sesile, the no-scam dating service, when it comes to Bulgarian women dating, has been of some assistance and that you find your dream lady. Weather she be a Bulgarian bride, a Russian bride, a Polish date or a Ukrainian girl. Good luck dating! Dating! Dating!

Cohabitation, or living together without marriage, is a dramatic, significant change in the way many adults in our country evolve from being single to being married.

The majority of all U. S. marriages today involve cohabitation before the wedding. Between 1974 and 1994, the percentage of marriages preceded by cohabitation increased from 10 percent to 56 percent. In addition, recent surveys of single young adults in five large cities show that the majority of both men and women in the studied groups favor cohabitation before marriage. In one national sample, almost 60 percent of high school seniors in the mid-1990s agreed with the statement, "It is usually a good idea for a couple to live together before getting married in order to find out whether they really get along."

Despite these commonly held beliefs, the idea that cohabitation will somehow improve the quality of a subsequent marriage is wrong. Research over the last thirty years shows that cohabitation does not lead to increased satisfaction or stability in marriage. Compared to marriage, cohabitation creates disadvantages for individuals, couples, and children.

Before describing these disadvantages, let's first examine why couples choose to cohabit - either as a prelude to marriage or as an expected "permanent" lifestyle.

Why Would Anyone Consider Cohabiting?

Although some couples say they cohabit for convenience (e. g. only one apartment to clean) or to lower their cost of living (one apartment is cheaper than two), most adults say they cohabit for one or more of the following reasons: (1) for emotional and sexual intimacy without the obligations of marriage; (2) to test their compatibility; (3) to prepare for marriage by practicing living with someone "24/7"; and (4) to better know each other's habits, character, and fidelity. Some people perceive cohabitation as a way to have a more intimate relationship without the risks of divorce or being trapped in an unhappy marriage. But cohabitation does not lead to marriage in the majority of cases; among cohabitors who do marry, their chances of divorce are actually increased. No one has ever found that cohabitation makes a positive contribution to later marital stability.

Four Reasons Why Cohabitation Increases the Chance of Divorce

There are several reasons why cohabiting increases a couple's chances of divorce: First, people willing to live together are more unconventional than others and tend to be less committed to marriage as an institution. These two factors make it easier for them to leave a marriage later if it becomes unsatisfying. Marriage, after all, is a unique relationship that assumes a vow of permanence. Most cohabitors fear, or are not ready for, such a permanent relationship. For them, according to The Case for Marriage, an important new book by Linda J. Waite and Maggie Gallagher, cohabitation's biggest attraction is the relatively easy exit with few responsibilities. Unfortunately, for many young adults, their parents' failed marriages may contribute to the expectation that marriages are fragile and divorce is common.

Those who are afraid of commitment and permanence, or who fear that these qualities can no longer be found in marriage, may settle for cohabitation. They are likely to discover they have settled for much less. Cohabiting relationships are relatively shortlived - after five years, only about 10 percent of couples who cohabit and do not marry each other are still together. Furthermore, those cohabitors who marry each other may be as much as 46 percent more likely to divorce than people who marry but have not cohabited first. The chances of commitment and permanence are better with marriage. Marriage is more likely to last than cohabitation even in the early years of the relationship. According to 1997 data, 14.5 percent of first marriages of women who had never cohabited ended in separation, divorce, or annulment in the first five years, compared to 22.6 percent of first marriages of women who had cohabited (with anyone) before those marriages. 8

Moreover, the breakup of a cohabiting relationship is not necessarily cleaner or easier than divorce. A breakup involves breaking up a household and may lead to conflicts over property, leases, pastdue bills, etc. 9 Breaking up is emotionally difficult for both cohabitors and any children of their own or previous relationships. Women in their late twenties and thirties experience an additional loss-their biological clocks have been ticking while they cohabited; when they break up, they have lost valuable time in which to find a marriageable partner and have children. 10

Second, cohabitors value independence more than noncohabitors; marriage involves less independence than living together. For example, cohabitors are less likely than marrieds to support or be financially responsible for their partners. 11 They more often have separate bank accounts. Male cohabitors are more likely to value personal leisure and individual freedom. But this individual freedom may come with a price: they do not reap the benefits of a deeper and more intimate relationship.

Third, cohabitors are more likely than noncohabitors to have negative attitudes about marriage and are more likely to accept divorce as a solution to marriage problems. 12 In addition, the longer cohabiting couples live together, the more negative their attitudes about marriage and childbearing are.13

Finally, a pattern of "serial cohabitation" actually becomes a roadblock, rather than a prelude, to marriage. If one or both members of a couple has previously lived with someone else and the couple marries, the relationship between previous cohabitation(s) and later divorce is especially strong. The experience of dissolving cohabiting relationships probably generates a greater willingness to dissolve later relationships, including marriages. Such individuals may also have a relatively low tolerance for unhappiness in a relationship 14 and choose to "bail out" rather than learn to work through differences.

Eight Reasons Why Marriage Is Better than Cohabitation

In a comparison of relationship benefits and costs, marriage wins over cohabitation. First, as described above, cohabitation lowers one's chances of marital satisfaction. Cohabitors also have a different perspective on time than

marrieds have. 15 Marriage, by definition, means, "I will always be here for you." Marrieds' longterm contract encourages emotional investment in the relationship. In contrast, cohabitation for most seems to mean, "I will be here only as long as the relationship meets my needs."

Thus, cohabitors feel less secure in their relationships. In addition, cohabitors are less likely than marrieds to view their sexual relationships as permanently exclusive they are less faithful to their partners than spouses are. Even when they are faithful, they are less committed to sexual fidelity, which creates more insecurity. Second, cohabitation also affects the cohabitors' children. In general, children's emotional development is poorer if a parent is cohabiting than if a parent is married. This poor development is partly due to the high risk that the couple will break up. If the couple does separate, the children pay an economic price, since they have no right to child support from a partner who is not their biological parent. They also pay an emotional price when they lose a caring adult who may have taken a parental role but will do so no longer.

Third, living without both parents also increases the chance that a child will be abused. Boyfriends are disproportionately likely to sexually or physically abuse their girlfriend's children. 18 In fact, the most unsafe family environment for children is that in which the mother is living with someone other than the child's biological father. 19 These children may also have more behavioral problems and lower academic performance than children in married families. 20

Similarly, cohabiting women are more likely than married women to suffer physical and sexual abuse. Some estimate that aggression is at least twice as common among cohabitors as it is among marrieds. 21

Fourth, although cohabitors try to protect their economic futures (with separate bank accounts, for example), married couples are better off financially. Married couples monitor each other's spendingan example of lower independence as compared to cohabitors-but marrieds usually monitor each other in a way that emphasizes "our spending plan" or budget. For most marrieds, "Your money is my money." According to Waite and Gallagher, "This financial union is one of the cornerstones (along with sexual union) of what Americans mean by marriage." 22

Fifth, married men earn more than single men (nearly twice as much) and married women have access to more of men's earnings than if they are single or cohabiting. This may be explained by the increased financial responsibility men feel when they marry many men have been heard to say, "Marriage made me get more serious about my career and making a good living." 23

Financially, cohabitors live more like single parents than like married couples. Cohabitors are more likely to control their own finances than to work as a close team, helping each other meet their financial and career goals. Married women also benefit in some aspects of their careers. Many women get a slight earnings boost from marriage. Childless married women make 4-10 percent more than childless single women. 24 Also, many married women report receiving considerable help from their husbands in their careers.

Sixth, cohabitors generally do not reap the physical health benefits enjoyed by married couples. Non-married people feel less healthy and have higher rates of mortality than the married-about 50 percent higher among women and 250 percent higher among men. 25 In addition, cohabiting, especially with serial partners, greatly increases the possibility of acquiring one or more sexually transmitted diseases.

Whereas cohabitors live in noncommitted relationships that value independence, marrieds promise to care for each other "in sickness and in health." There are many mental and physical health benefits of knowing there is another person who will take care of you when you cannot take care of yourself.

Compared to singles, married people as a group are also emotionally happier. Married couples are better connected to the larger community, including inlaws and church members who provide social and emotional support and material benefits. 26 Although cohabitors may seem to gain some of the emotional benefits of marriage, in general, they are no better off than singles. 27 Because cohabiting relationships are short-lived, any emotional health benefits last for a relatively short time. Only about 60 percent of cohabiting relationships end in marriage, 28 so if the couple breaks up rather than marries, the benefits are lost at a high emotional cost similar to what people experience in a divorce.

Seventh, some people would be surprised to learn that marrieds have better sex lives than cohabitors. Although cohabitors have sex at least as often as marrieds, they are less likely to say they enjoy it. 29 Marriage adds the essential ingredients of commitment and security to one's sex life, making it more satisfying. In addition, marrieds are more likely than cohabitors to perceive love and sex as intrinsically connected.

Finally, cohabitation may affect relationships with parents. In some families, cohabitation is no longer associated with sin, pathology, or parental disapproval. But in many families cohabitation is still considered morally wrong and embarrassing to extended family members. Cohabitors from those families risk damaging their relationships with their parents and experiencing the withdrawal of parental and extended family support for the relationship. Moreover, the transitory nature of cohabiting relationships may limit access to grandparents for children of cohabiting unions.

Conclusion

In the final analysis, thirty years of research show that for the benefit of men, women, and their children, marriage is superior to cohabitation. Cohabitation cannot provide or compete with the rewards and benefits of a strong, committed marriage. Cohabitation is not an effective "trial marriage," if such a thing exists. It does not provide divorce insurance. Couples will be better off on life's measures of success and happiness (e. g. emotional health, physical health, and personal wealth) if they are married rather than living together. Cohabitation has more costs than rewards but, unfortunately, continues to be popular, especially among young adults, even though cohabitors fail to receive the benefits or avoid the risks they think they will. People need to know that cohabitation fails to bring couples the happiness and stability they desire in a close personal relationship.

The current generation of young adults longs for satisfying and stable marriages, but is increasingly anxious about their ability to achieve them. Their fears will be calmed through better premarriage education and counseling. They will not be helped by alternatives to marriage that, although they appear reasonable and attractive, will not fulfill their promise and fail when compared to marriage. Marriage educators, university professors, public school teachers, premarriage counselors, the clergy, the media, and parents can provide this important information to our youth and begin to reinstate the institution of marriage as fundamental to personal and family success.

Fortunately, these recommendations come at a time when increasing numbers of people are working to support a marriage culture in our country. The marriage movement can be a helpful support and benefit to those who are married and those who are not. "Support for marriage. does not require turning back the clock on desirable social change, promoting male tyranny, or tolerating domestic violence. Whether an individual ever personally marries or not, a healthy marriage culture benefits every [person]. " 31

The institution of marriage, which has been universally accepted as the way to provide for children and realize adult dreams, has also been affirmed by scholarly research as the way to increased health, happiness, and financial security. Although the increase in cohabitation and its implications for marriage are still being studied, the statistics do not tell the entire story. A movement among young people, usually in religious settings, has led thousands of youth to promise to wait for sex until after they are married, thus foregoing cohabitation as well. These young adults have rejected the cultural changes that some of their peers accept as the norm.

Given the benefits of marriage to adults and children and the discouraging data about cohabitation, young people should be warned that the relationships they wish for and think they can achieve through cohabitation are more likely to be found in marriage. According to the best research available, cohabitation, like a mirage, holds out empty promises that disappear and even lead away from fulfillment of the hopes most people have for their lives. Even though people who marry do not always live "happily ever after," people who choose marriage instead of cohabitation choose the best beginning for their children and the best opportunity for lasting happiness.

Jeffry H. Larson, Ph. D. LMFT, CFLE, is a professor of Marriage and Family Therapy at Brigham Young University and author of Should We Stay Together? A Scientifically Proven Method for Evaluating Your Relationship and Improving its Chances for LongTerm Success (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2000) .

References

1. The National Marriage Project, The state of our unions 2000: The social health of marriage in America (New Brunswick, NJ: The National Mar-riage Project, 2000).

2. Survey Research Center, "Monitoring the Future Survey" (Ann Arbor: University of Michigan, 1995).

3. David Popenoe & Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, Should we live together? What young adults need to know about cohabitation before marriage (New Brunswick, NJ: The National Marriage Project, 1999).

4. Jeffry H. Larson, Should we stay together? A scientifically proven method for evaluating your relationship and improving its chances for long-term success (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2000).

5. Linda J. Waite & Maggie Gallagher, The case for marriage: Why married people are happier, Photo Credit Comstock, Inc. healthier, and better off financially (New York: Dou-bleday, 2000).

6. Popenoe & Whitehead (1999), note 4.

7. J. Abma, A. Chandra, W. Mosher, L. Peterson, and L. Piccinino, Fertility, family planning, and women's health: New data from the 1995 National Survey of Family Growth. National Center for Health Statistics. Vital Health Statistics 23 (19) (1997).

8. Popenoe & Whitehead (1999), note 4.

9. Waite & Gallagher (2000), note 6.

10. Ibid.

11. Larson (2000), note 5.

12. Waite & Gallagher (2000), note 6.

13. Larson (2000), note 5.

14. Waite & Gallagher (2000), note 6.

15. Ibid.

16. Ibid.

17. M. Daly & M. Wilson, "Evolutionary psychology and marital conflict: The relevance of stepchildren." In Sex, power, conflict: Evolutionary and feminist perspectives, edited by D. M. Buss & N. M. Malamuth (Oxford, England: Oxford University Press, 1996) 9-28.

18. R. Whelan, Broken homes and battered children: A study of the relationship between child abuse and family type (London: Family Education Trust, 1993).

19. E. Thompson, T. L. Hanson, & S. S. McLanahan, "Family structure and child well-being: Economic resources versus parental behaviors." Social Forces, 73, 221-242 (1994).

20. J. E. Stets, "Cohabiting and marital aggression: The role of social isolation." Journal of Marriage and the Family, 53, 669-680 (1995).

21. Waite & Gallagher (2000) p. 41, note 6.

22. Waite & Gallagher (2000), note 6.

23. Linda J. Waite, "Does marriage matter?" Demography, 32, 483-507 (1995).

24. C. E. Ross, J. Mirowski, & K. Goldsteen, "The impact of the family on health: The decade in review." Journal of Marriage and the Family, 52, 1059-1078 (1990).

25. Popenoe & Whitehead (1999), note 4.

26. Waite & Gallagher (2000), note 6.

27. Popenoe & Whitehead (1999), note 4.

28. Linda J. Waite & K. Joyner, "Emotional and physical satisfaction in married, cohabiting, and dating sexual unions: Do men and women differ?" In Studies on Sex, edited by E. O. Laumann & R. Michael (Chicago: University of Chicago, in press).

29. The National Marriage Project (2000), note 1.

30. Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education; Institute for American Values; Religion, Culture, and Family Project, University of Chicago Divinity School, The Marriage Movement: A Statement of Principles (New York: Institute for American Values, 2000). Available online at www. marriagemovement. org

31. Waite & Gallagher (2000), note 6.

Dating vs. boyfriend/girlfriend?

I guess I'm kind of new to all of this.

What's the difference between "just dating" and "boyfriend/girlfriend"? Yes, I know "just dating" is non-commital, but--

J T. says:

The minute u both only have sex with the other then u are bf and gf whether it is stated officially with a title or not. Other than that u are just dating. Sex determines mating in the animal kingdom and the moment you spurn potential mates and select one to copulate with is the moment you are committed.

5-8 years ago your statement would be true (for girls at lease). In this current society, girls will test the bounds and play the field just as much as the boys. Nowadays, everything has to be distinctly communicated.

With that said, the responses (to the thread topic) can probably be categorized by the yelper's age.