Dating 2nd cousins

11 State Laws About Marrying Your Cousins, From Strictest to Loosest

written by Sam Greenspan

Usually I give my lists a prologue like "I was watching TV the other day and during a Nissan commercial I thought to myself, 'Hey, that's a cool song' so I decided to devote five hours of my late 20s to an 11-points list of techno music from 2000 to 2005 that's been used in foreign car commercials."

This list gets no such prologue. I have no desire to marry my first cousins (so no worries, Sarah, Rachel, Molly or Julie) -- nor any recollection of why the idea for this list popped into my strange, strange brain.

All I know is that I thought cousin marriages could make for an interesting list topic, I started digging around, and that brought us to now.

So here, my friends, are the 11 different state laws about first cousin marriage that exist across the 50 states. I've ranked the list from the places where it's most difficult to marry your first cousin down to the places where anything goes.

And who knows? Maybe someone will find this list, realize that those taboo feelings they've been having every year at Thanksgiving aren't that strange, and use the info gathered here to finally make true love happen. Plus think about how cheap the wedding will be -- so much overlap in the number of guests that fall under the "well, we have to invite your Uncle Bernie" umbrella!

I felt like these two people looked like cousins.

A ban on marriages between first cousins and first cousins once removed: Indiana, Kentucky, Nevada, Ohio, Washington and Wisconsin. These states have the strictest laws (especially Kentucky, Nevada and Ohio, as you'll see the others below all make exceptions). In these six states, you can't marry your first cousin OR first cousin once removed (your first cousin once removed is the child of your first cousin).

By the way, if you're wondering why I didn't start this list with the states that ban all cousin marriages or second cousin marriages. it's because there aren't any. It is legal in all 50 states to marry your second cousin. Seriously.

A ban on marriages between first cousins, but first cousins once removed are good to go: Arkansas, Delaware, Iowa, Idaho, Kansas, Louisiana, New Hampshire, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, Mississippi, Montana, North Dakota, Nebraska, Oregon, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, South Dakota, Texas, West Virginia and Wyoming. So these states are pretty strict. But they're not as worried about cousins from different generations (the whole once removed thing). Many of them, as you'll see below, also have other little loopholes.

Adopted first cousins are good to go, as long as they've got proof: Louisiana, Mississippi, Oregon, West Virginia. I was actually surprised more of the banned states from above don't have adopted cousin loopholes. Because, in general, the biggest argument against first cousin marriage is, ya know, the potential for flipper children. If you're legislating against adopted first cousins marrying, then you're legislating morality.

And I'd be shocked, just shocked, to think that any places in this country would try to legislate morality.

Banned, but if you marry your cousin where it's legal then come back to the state, they'll let you get away with it: Indiana, Kansas, Louisiana, Nebraska, Oklahoma, Washington, West Virginia, Wyoming. I like this loophole. Go ahead and marry your first cousin, just don't do it on our turf.

It's like when the CTU director du jour turns off the camera so Jack Bauer can torture someone off the record on "24". At least I assume "24" is still about lots 'o torture and a revolving door of CTU directors saying "I'm in charge now." I haven't watched the show since they brought Wayne Palmer out of a coma or something to get him to stop yet another hot-headed vice presi. recycle, recycle, recycle.

It was hard to find photos to accompany this list. Don't these two look like cousins also?

Banned, but if you marry your cousin where it's legal then come back to the state, they'll probably let you get away with it: Arkansas, Michigan. It's a little ambiguous in both of these states. Michigan doesn't have any precedents on it, nor any laws that seem to specifically prohibit it.

Arkansas's position on first cousin marriages is clearer -- they don't want to accept it -- but a 1986 Arkansas Supreme Court decision, Etheridge v. Shaddock, upheld an out of state first cousin marriage, so there's some precedent there. Yeah that's right. 11points cites state supreme court precedents. What?

A ban on first cousins and first cousins once removed unless both meet certain age and/or fertility restrictions: Indiana, Wisconsin. In Indiana, first cousins or first once removed can get together. as long as they're both over 65 and infertile. In Wisconsin, the way around the ban is for the woman to be over 55 or at least one of the two people to be infertile.

This all seems a bit strange to me. it's one thing for a couple of young, naive cousins to fall in love. But if you're 68 years old and just realizing that the cousin you've been hangin' with since you were toddlers is actually the love of your life. it doesn't seem the same.

A ban on first cousins (once removed are fine), unless both meet certain age and/or fertility restrictions: Arizona, Illinois, Utah. These are similar bans, they just apply only to first cousins. In Illinois, both have to be over 50 or one has to be infertile; in Arizona both have to be over 65 or one has to be infertile; in Utah both have to be over 65, or both have to be over 55 with one being infertile.

This is all designed to make sure married first cousins don't have kids. And, in all cases, it's also apparently designed to make sure that when the married first cousins go out to movies they can save $2 with their senior discounts.

Banned, unless permitted by "aboriginal culture": Minnesota. Translation: White people in Minnesota may not marry their first cousins. If there were black people in Minnesota, they'd be banned from that too. But if you're from a local Indian population where marrying your first cousin is a part of your history. it's all good.

So, Dakota Sioux, Ojibwe and Chippewa -- the tribes of Minnesota -- let it ride.

Charles Darwin married his first cousin. So did Edgar Allen Poe and H. G. Wells. Jerry Lee Lewis married his first cousin once removed.

Allowed if both first cousins submit to genetic counseling: Maine. I think this is actually the most democratic of all the bans, because it's truly legislating against potential birth defects and nothing else. If you want to marry your first cousin, have your genes looked at to make sure your kid isn't going to turn out like a member of British nobility. If you're clean together, go for it.

Only double first cousins prohibited from getting married: North Carolina. I had to look up double first cousins. What's that? It's when "two siblings reproduce with another set of siblings". their children are all double first cousins.

So, if a girl and her sister are out and meet two brothers, they pair off, have sex, and each couple produces a baby. those kids couldn't get married in North Carolina.

And since that seems exceedingly rare, I ask you, North Carolina: Why bother? Is this just a token effort not to make my "Anything Goes!" list below? This is like saying you're giving up alcohol, but only giving up Sam Adams Winter Lager.

Let it ride! Alaska, Alabama, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Tennessee, Vermont, Virginia, Washington D. C. and Shelbyville. Ya know, for all the jokes about the South being the home of family member-on-family member sex. pretty much all of the hippy liberal states are on this list. and the majority of the redneckkiest states aren't. So ruminate on that. (Better than the conclusion of this list leading to you ruminating about your first cousin, right?)

This list was originally published on Thursday, April 23, 2009 at 12:01:00 AM under the category Dating & Sex .

Kissin' Cousins

Box office

Kissin' Cousins is a 1964 American musical Panavision Metrocolor comedy film directed by Gene Nelson and starring Elvis Presley. Written by Gerald Drayson Adams and Gene Nelson. the film is about an Army officer who returns to the Great Smoky Mountains assigned to convince his kinfolk to allow the Army to build a missile site on their land. His mission is complicated when he meets his look-alike cousin and two beautiful country cousins who compete to win his affections. Presley played two roles in the film: the Army officer, with dark hair, and his look-alike cousin, with blond hair.

Kissin' Cousins was produced by Dick Fitzwell for Four-Leaf Productions, and was distributed in the United States by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer. The film was released in the United States on March 6, 1964. The film reached #11 on the Variety National Box Office Chart, earned $3 million at the box office, and finished at #26 on the year end list of the top-grossing movies of 1964. [ 2 ] The title single from the soundtrack reached #12 on the Billboard Hot 100 and was certified Gold by the RIAA. The screenplay was nominated for a Writers Guild of America Award in the category of Best Written American Musical.

In 1988, Kissin' Cousins made its home video debut, released on VHS. When it was reissued on VHS in 1997, the song "Smokey Mountain Boy" was deleted. It was later restored to the film when it made its DVD debut in 2007.

Instructions

Determine the nearest ancestors that you have in common with the other person. This can be done by tracing both your ancestry and the other person's until you find the point where your family trees overlap. You may be descended from the same set of great-great grandparents, for example.

Add one to the number of "greats" in your common ancestor's title to figure out your cousinship with the other person. For example, if you share the same great-great grandparents, by adding one to the number of "greats" you can determine that you are third cousins.

Tips & Warnings

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are all used throughout the english speaking world.

More Cousin Terminology . You may also come across these terms used to describe cousins.

* double first cousins are when a set of brothers marries a set of sisters, or a brother and a sister marry another sister and brother, and they produce children. These children end up sharing all lineal and collateral relatives. (double first cousins share a quarter of their genetic material [25% consanguinity] and in many cultures & religions there is a taboo, an objection to them marrying or procreating)

" If you're tired of beating around the bush, why not shake the family tree? A hot cousin might fall out. "

Romantic/sexual relationships between cousins are a phenomenon that has been more accepted in some cultures and eras than others. A great many cultures today accept it, including a majority of the industrialized world. Marrying one's extended relatives (which is technically known as clan endogamy ) seems to have been common in human evolutionary history. since hominids usually lived in small nomadic bands with few available sexual partners. At the other end of the spectrum, much of the modern U. S.A. considers cousin marriage completely taboo, so Hilarity Ensues at the very mention of it. People from backwoods areas (especially the Appalachian Mountains) are often the preferred butt of many bad jokes as well as occasional bits of Self-Deprecating Humor for the alleged prevalence of Kissing Cousins in their culture. Despite the taboo, cousin marriages are legal in about half the states in the U. S.A. though not as much in the backwoods areas and more in the modern industrialized states, the opposite of what one might expect from hearing all those jokes. Legal or not, these marriages are still not very common due to the lingering cultural taboo.

Some cultures distinguish between parallel cousins — one's mother's sister's child or father's brother's — and cross cousins — mother's brother's or father's sister's. Cultures in which a parallel cousin is taboo often regard the cross cousin as the best possible choice of a spouse, since the marriage will strengthen bonds among members of the bloodline and ensure that property remains in the family.

Most of the origins of the cousin marriage taboo are not inherently religious; the ancient Hebrew patriarchs demonstrably had no problem with cousin marriage at all (Isaac married Rebekah, his first cousin once removed). The largest Christian denomination, the Catholic Church, allows even first cousins to marry with special dispensation. First-cousin marriage is perfectly fine under Islamic law and some Middle Eastern and Central Asian cultures actively encourage it. Hinduism, Buddhism, Confucianism, and Asian animist traditions have little to say against cousin marriages either.

One culture in which clan endogamy was primarily tabooed was medieval Europe; this prohibition extended as far as third cousins and included in-laws. In a chronically violent culture that put a far higher value on tribal and dynastic bonds than we do today, this was much more about trying to mitigate warfare by extending people's social networks than preventing inbreeding. This led to royal or noble families seeking to end blood feuds by marriage alliances often needing dispensation from the Church to marry — as, for instance, Henry VII and Elizabeth of York at the end of the Wars of the Roses. (Coincidentally, it was Henry VII's son Henry VIII who put an end to this in England by breaking from the Catholic Church: The Church of England notably omitted first cousins when listing which relatives were covered by incest prohibitions.)

This was also the case in China, in a historical period analogous to that of feudal Europe; nobles were explicitly banned from marrying any person that could trace their paternal lineage to the same historical tribe (effectively, anyone with the same family name). This was then extended to all social classes after the unification of the Chinese empire; people bearing the same surname were forbidden to marry even if they were not related at all. However, cousins with different surnames were allowed, and in many cases encouraged, to be paired together to strengthen the alliance between two clans during said period. Linguistic remnants of this tradition may still be found in some areas in Southern China, where the form of address used for one's mother - and father-in-law may also be used to address one's uncle and aunt.

Thanks to the discovery of the laws of genetics a fairly modern part of the taboo against cousin marriage is the perception that this form of inbreeding results in heightened risk of offspring with genetic disorders like hemophilia or albinism. A study in Western Australia discovered that while the risk of a serious defect does rise slightly, the change isn't that dramatic (i. e. a 4% risk for first-cousin parents instead a 2% risk for unrelated parents, roughly equivalent to the risk of birth defects in children conceived by women age 35 and older as compared to children conceived by women under 35) Please note, however, these statistics apply only to first cousins: any couples more distantly related are likely to be as genetically dissimilar as randomly paired individuals from the general population (how many of your third cousins do you even know ?). note On the other hand, getting any closer than first cousins is quite dangerous, because relatedness works on an exponential scale. An uncle-niece pair share 1/4 of their genes as compared to 1/8 for first cousins, and full siblings on average share 1/2 their DNA. And the first-cousin marriages studied were one-time occurrences, those statistics don't cover an entire family tree doing it for generations like has been seen in certain aristocratic populations —repeated, exclusive endogamous marriage is likely to have more serious genetic consequences .

Expect some strong Values Dissonance between the media from the US and other countries, and between certain modern works and works from the nineteenth century and earlier, when the taboo was sometimes non-existent or even inverted. Full scholarly debate on why some cultures would forbid cousins, or even specific types of cousins, to marry, while others ignore or even encourage it, rages on, and lies beyond the scope of this wiki.

According to both Oxford's and Merriam-Webster's Dictionaries, the original definition of kissing cousins was simply a relative known well enough to be given a kiss in greeting, although this has fallen by the wayside.

NOTE: This trope is for cases of actual relationships between cousins. Incestuous subtext goes in Incest Subtext .

Cousin

A cousin is a relative with whom a person shares one or more common ancestors. In the general sense, cousins are two or more generations away from any common ancestor, thus distinguishing a cousin from an ancestor, descendant, sibling, aunt, uncle, niece, or nephew. However in common parlance, "cousin" normally specifically means "first cousin".

Basic definitions [ edit ]

The ordinals in the terms "first cousins", "second cousins", "third cousins", refer to the number of generations to one's closest common ancestor. [ 1 ] When the cousins are not the same generation, they are described as "removed". In this case, the smaller number of generations to the common ancestor is used to determine the degree, and the difference in generations determines the number of times removed. Note that the ages of the cousins are irrelevant to the definition of the cousin relationship.

First cousins [ edit ]

Second cousins [ edit ]

Third cousins [ edit ]

Canon law relationship chart [ edit ]

Another visual chart used in determining the legal relationship between two people who share a common ancestor is based upon a diamond shape, usually referred to as a "canon law relationship chart".

The chart is used by placing the "common progenitor" (the most recent person from whom both people are descended) in the top space in the diamond-shaped chart and then following each line down the outside edge of the chart. Upon reaching the final place along the opposing outside edge for each person, the relationship is then determined by following that line inward to the point where the lines intersect. The information contained in the common "intersection" defines the relationship.

For a simple example, in the illustration to the right, if two siblings use the chart to determine their relationship, their common parents are placed in the topmost position, and each child is assigned the space below and along the outside of the chart. Then, following the spaces inward, the two would meet in the "brother/sister" diamond. If their children want to determine their relationship, they would follow the path established by their parents but descend an additional step below along the outside of the chart (showing that they are grandchildren of the common progenitor); following their respective lines inward, they would come to rest in the space marked "1st cousin". In cases where one side descends the outside of the diamond further than the other side because of additional generations removed from the common progenitor, following the lines inward shows both the cousin rank (1st cousin, 2nd cousin) plus the number of times (generations) "removed".

In the example provided at the right, generations one (child) through ten (8th great-grandchild) from the common progenitor are provided; however, the format of the chart can easily be expanded to accommodate any number of generations needed to resolve the question of relationship.

Mathematical definitions [ edit ]

There is a mathematical way to identify the degree of cousinship shared by two individuals. In the description of each individual's relationship to the most recent common ancestor, each "great" or "grand" has a numerical value of 1. The following examples demonstrate how this is applied.

Example: If person one's great-great-great-grandfather is person two's grandfather, then person one's "number" is 4 (great + great + great + grand = 4) and person two's "number" is 1 (grand = 1). The smaller of the two numbers is the degree of cousinship. The two people in this example are first cousins. The difference between the two people's "numbers" is the degree of removal. In this case, the two people are thrice (4 ? 1 = 3) removed, making them first cousins three times removed.

Example 2: If someone's great-great-great-grandparent (great + great + great + grand = 4) is another person's great-great-great-grandparent (great + great + great + grand = 4), then the two people are 4th cousins. There is no degree of removal because they are on the same generational level (4 ? 4 = 0).

Example 3: If one person's great-grandparent (great + grand = 2) is a second person's great-great-great-great-great-grandparent (great + great + great + great + great + grand = 6), then the two are second cousins four times removed. The first person's "number" (2) is the lower, making them second cousins. The difference between the two numbers is 4 (6 ? 2 = 4), which is the degree of removal (generational difference).

A niece or nephew could be referred to as a "zeroth cousin once removed", and thus a sibling as a "zeroth cousin (zero times removed)". This can be extended to define oneself as a "minus one cousin", parents and children as "minus one cousins once removed", and so on. This forms the basis of an inductive definition of "Nth cousin M-times removed".

Alternative definitions [ edit ]

Colloquial usage [ edit ]

In day to day speech, "cousin" is often used unmodified. Normally it means a first cousin, but some people use the term "cousin" to refer to cousins of all types, such as first, second, and third cousins, as well as cousins once or more times removed. Modifier terms such as "half-cousin" or "step-cousin" are rarely used in everyday speech. [ citation needed ]

Extremely distant relations [ edit ]