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Dr. Neil Clark Warren, Founder
Dr. Warren is a clinical psychologist and author of eight books on love, marriage and emotional health. During 35 years of counseling thousands of married couples, Dr. Warren observed a set of characteristics that seemed to be present in all successful relationships. He called them the 29 Dimensions of Compatibility. After extensive research involving thousands of married couples, Dr. Warren confirmed that these dimensions were indeed highly predictive of relationship success and could be used to match singles. Ten years later, eHarmony's compatibility matching is responsible for nearly 4% of U. S. marriages.*
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eHarmony is the first service within the online dating industry to use a scientific approach to matching highly compatible singles. eHarmony's matching is based on using its 29 DIMENSIONS® model to match couples based on features of compatibility found in thousands of successful relationships.
eHarmony is committed to helping singles find love every day . and with over 20 million registered online users, we are confident in our ability to do so. The eHarmony Compatibility Matching System® matches single women and men based on 29 Dimensions® of Compatibility for lasting and fulfilling relationships.
Traditional Internet dating can be challenging for those singles looking for love that lasts. But eHarmony is not a traditional dating site. Of all the single men or women you may meet online, very few will be compatible with you specifically, and it can be difficult to determine the level of compatibility of a potential partner through methods of conventional dating services – browsing classified ads, online personals, or viewing profile photos. Our Compatibility Matching System does the work for you by narrowing the field from thousands of single prospects to match you with a select group of compatible matches with whom you can build a quality relationship.
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*2012 U. S. survey conducted for eHarmony by Harris Interactive® online, very few will be compatible with you specifically, and it can be difficult to determine the level of compatibility of a potential partner through methods of conventional dating services – browsing classified ads, online personals, or viewing profile photos. Our Compatibility Matching System does the work for you by narrowing the field from thousands of single prospects to match you with a select group of compatible matches with whom you can build a quality relationship.
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Two Guys and a Girl
Original run
March 10, 1998 ( 1998-03-10 ) – May 16, 2001 ( 2001-05-16 )
Two Guys and a Girl (originally titled Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place ) is an American sitcom created by Kenny Schwartz and Danny Jacobson. It was originally broadcast on ABC from March 10, 1998, to May 16, 2001. Eighty-one episodes were aired over four seasons.
The series stars Ryan Reynolds. Traylor Howard and Richard Ruccolo as the title characters. The second season saw the arrival of two additional recurring characters, Johnny Donnelly (Nathan Fillion ) and Ashley Walker (Suzanne Cryer ).
In 2000, ABC bounced the sitcom from midweek to Friday night. leading to a steep drop in ratings. After the show moved back to Wednesday for a two-week trial in an attempt to revive its flagging support, the plug was pulled, and the series was cancelled in May 2001. The series finale was titled "The Internet Show", an hour-long episode in which fans of the show voted on the outcome online.
15 Guys to Avoid Dating at All Costs
He's cute, fun, smart and you can't stop thinking about him. You're already three steps ahead of the game, mentally planning weddings, children and that giant house with the white picket fence. Finally, after all these years, the perfect relationship has finally been found. Happily ever after sure feels good, huh?
Not so fast. While many men may seem ideal after just a few weeks of dating, upon closer inspection, there can be warning signs that you should avoid a relationship with this person. It is important to recognize these warning signs before it's too late. The alternative is waking up one day down the road divorced with five kids and fifty thousand dollars in debt, watching re-runs of "Honey Boo Boo" on Nick at Nite.
OK, maybe I'm exaggerating. But the truth is, as much as we often ignore the warning signs of a potentially bad relationship early on in the dating process, these issues don't go away. Most behaviors only grow worse over time. So, instead of jumping into that long-term relationship with a man you suspect may be wrong for you, let's take a look at fifteen types of guys to avoid getting into long-term relationships with in the first place.
1. The set-in-his-ways guy.
These men will only become more rigid over time. Dating someone who refuses to do anything new makes for a long-term relationship that is both boring and one-sided. Assuming that he will eventually change and open up to your hobbies is misguided. This will likely never happen.
2. The pick-up-after-me guy.
You are his partner, not his maid. Men who expect you to clean up their dishes, pick up their clothes and take care of them as if they are little children on a consistent basis need a really check, and will likely treat you as if you are their mother for the rest of their lives.
3. The always-looking-for-a-deal guy.
Be wary of men who constantly look for deals and comment on prices early on in the dating process. While everyone likes a good deal, real men will not make this known when courting a woman. These are signs that he will likely be very cheap throughout the duration of the relationship.
4. The I-need-to-watch-sports-all-the-time guy.
There's nothing wrong with sitting on the couch and watching sports. Many guys do. But this should never trump the responsibilities of a relationship or take precedence over family obligations. There is a difference between loving sports and having a childish obsession with them. Choose a man who knows the difference.
5. The what's-for-dinner guy.
Expecting a home cooked meal every single night makes for a relationship that will likely feel unbalanced in the long run. Again, you are not his maid. There should be contributions from both parties, even if that contribution isn't always evenly divided. It's the effort that counts.
6. The I-get-increasingly-less-romantic-with-each-date guy.
Many men break out all the stops early on in the dating process, but by the fifth of sixth date, the laziness starts to creep in. While no man should always be expected to plan five-star dates, at the same time, the romance shouldn't just completely fall off a cliff at once. These changes in effort can be very foretelling of how he will be a year or two down the road.
7. The I-had-sex-and-now-I-don't-have-to-try-anymore guy.
Always play close attention to how a guy's behavior changes once he has had sex with you for the first time. If he truly cares about you, his good behaviors will grow stronger. Those who back down and start getting lazier after having sex for the first time were probably only after one thing to begin with.
8. The I-will-let-you-pay-for-some-of-my-bills guy.
Anyone, regardless of gender, who asks for help paying bills early on in a relationship should raise red flags. Don't let yourself be used. By paying for him early on, you are setting the tone that it will be this way for your entire future.
9. The lack-of-ambition guy.
Be very wary of men who talk up a big game of what they plan on doing with their lives. Some men with no ambition whatsoever like to talk up a good game, but at the end of the day, they are just saying what they know women want to hear. There is nothing wrong with a guy who wants to grow into a better person, just make sure that he's genuine.
10. The I'm-in-my-late-twenties-or-older-and-still-live-with-my-mother guy.
In my book, living at home up until age 25 is acceptable, provided the guy was going through schooling or saving up money. But anyone who has been working for a couple of years and still lives with his mother past this age is never going to grow up. Period.
11. The "sorry, I'm not a big phone person," guy.
Some men may not like being tied down to a phone, but responding to your text messages or phone calls shouldn't be annoying; it's common courtesy and respect. This is a warning sign of future selfish behavior.
12. The over-controlling guy.
The opposite of number eleven, the over-controlling guy must know where "his woman" his every second of the day and approve of who she is hanging out with. Run from this type of man immediately.
13. The I-don't-know-what-I'm-looking-for guy.
One day, he wants a relationship. The next day, he wants kids. Two months later, he's not sure about either. Often times when this line is pulled, its code for "I'm looking for a marriage and kids, just not with you." Steer clear.
14. The let's-just-stay-in guy.
If you like being indoors more than being outdoors, this may be a good match for you. But men who are constantly suggesting that they want to just stay in and watch a movie early on in the dating game are likely the lazy type, or only out for sex. This will only get worse over time.
15. The I-don't-like-your-friends guy.
No man is more important than your friends. If he doesn't like them and refuses to hang out with them, leave immediately.
For more free tips from Joshua Pompey, including how to write successful emails online, click here now. Or click here to learn the best methods for writing the perfect online dating profiles .
DiaLteG – A Nice Guys Approach To Dating, Attraction, and Relationships
by peter white Follow me on Twitter here .
DiaLteG™ stands for:
D ating – The opportunity to explore and interact with single people. Dating is about discovering who we’re looking to enhance our lives with as many choices as we can handle. Dating is meant to be a fun way to qualify and connect with others.
I nspiration – Driving our energy and stimulating our imagination to step above and beyond our existence. This helps us to take chances and risk life a little more to seek new experiences.
A ttraction – An instinctual but sometimes misunderstood “emotion” which alludes too many men and women because of the complexity of our modern social lives.
L earning – The quest for knowledge and understanding how our personality and how we present it to the world can be a never ending but enjoyable process.
T eaching – Boring classrooms and bad lighting is not what teaching is about. Keep the cycle alive and teach what you learn. Give a little back and accept whatever reward, big or small that come your way.
E xperience – No one can experience your life for you. When we share those incredible moments with those around us we help them join along in our pleasures.
G rowing – Becoming a more attractive person, enjoying a fun and successful dating life, and entering more fulfilling relationships requires each and every one of us to grow into a mature and complete person.
T he nice guys approach is an attraction “system” for guys who want to attract women without guilt.
The approach is designed so you never have to worry about women finding out what you’re doing because they won’t care. There’s nothing devious or manipulative to try.
The nice guys approach is based on the principle that “being nice has little to do with attraction.” You can still keep your values and beliefs without having to compromise your integrity.
It helps you to realize your potential, tap into your true masculinity, and live a more complete life. All of which will early on and inevitably naturally attract women.
Y ou see by using the core principals of attraction this “approach” will enhance your personality, help you develop a sold social life to meet more women, allow you the freedom to make better decisions and choices around women, and ultimately allow you control over your dating and relationships. Whatever your goals may be.
The nice guys approach is about taking “woman” out of the equation.
It’s not about trying harder – it’s about doing less for her, getting more for yourself, and eventually not having to try at all…
SCREECH. Stop it right now!
S eriously man – there’s a little devilish guy inside you and I guarantee you’ve been hiding him from women. Probably because you’re one of those “nice” guys.
You’ve been made to believe he’s evil and he’s a womanizer. How he plays women for their bodies. It’s to the point now where you’re actually afraid of him screwing up your “nice” image to the opposite sex.
But I’m here to tell you up front and honestly – hiding him is the absolute worst thing you can do to yourself.
So while you’re trying to “play nice” for her or all women you want, you’re treating yourself unfairly and you’re not being very nice to the guy inside you who maybe just wants to get laid once in while. Who wants to enjoy and explore his options in the dating world. Who wants to maybe experience something more than chasing women with no success or playing it safe waiting for them to choose you – when they won’t.
Through years of trial and a ton of failures under my belt (and in my pants) I’ve come to realize he’s not evil. He’s not a bad person. He’s a part of you and without him included in your life – creating and building on attraction is almost impossible.
Wait now… DiaLteG tm is NOT here to give you permission to treat women like sex objects and objectify their existence.
If you or I wanted to do that we wouldn’t need people like me around.
A word of warning and truth… because I’m a nice guy
Every “10” you meet who “does it” for you won’t throw themselves in your bed. They won’t call you up in the middle of the night for a “quick lay.” They won’t beg you to become her husband or boyfriend but that’s okay and you know it.
You won’t become an overnight playboy who only needs to wear robes and smoke a pipe.
You might not even become the “coolest” guy in the world sipping drinks surrounded by beautiful women.
I’m not saying it can’t happen but it probably won’t.
If you’re with me here… cool!
So don’t expect hard promises on my part and I won’t expect you to always get it right because I was an idiot one day failed to communicate my ideas with you.
That is why dialteg is here. You might not be an “old man” like me or we may never agree on everything but we share a common theme to our existence in this planet…
W e’ve been too nice for too long and have neglected a part of ourselves which creates an abundance of attraction in every way, shape or form.
That inner self holds the truth and the path to a better understanding, and can help us lead our lives in a new direction.
I won’t ask you to start treating women badly if you promise to treat yourself better. If not – all bets are off. (Evil laugh – “Bwhahahaha”)
…By the way – My name’s Peter White .
My “ Nice Guy ” Approach for men is about learning to use your nice guy “habits” for yourself and not on women. It’s not about learning how to be someone else it’s about learning how to be yourself without trying. ( And still have quality choices with women. )
9 comments… add one
7 Observations on Dating for Short Guys
by Matt Savage
F or many men height can be an issue and being a short guy tends to cause those men to have a lot of hang-ups in life. You see, the self-esteem issues of being short for a male is like being overweight for a female. The only difference is that while weight can be lost, our height is permanent.
I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned this on the blog before but I’m 5 foot 4 inches, so I think I’m qualified to talk about this. And though I don’t have any secrets of short guy seduction or magical words of wisdom, I would like to posit some observations I’ve made as it pertains to this issue.
1. Don’t Take Your Height for Granted, It Could Be Worse
It used to piss me off when guys who were 5’8 or even 5’6 would complain on public forums about how tough they had it. Of course, being a shorter guy, I’d resent them and say, “Dude, if only I were that tall I’d be cleaning up.” Then some other guy who was even shorter would chime in and bitch me out for complaining.
As much as you complain about how you have it tough, just remember that there is always someone shorter than you who wishes he were in your position . Unless you’re Verne Troyer you shouldn’t complain. By the way, Verne Troyer gets laid like a rock star.
2. Take Advantage of Accessories
I have a pair of platform shoes. It took me a long time to find a pair that was stylish and could easily integrate into my wardrobe but it was well worth it. Not only do they look good and get a lot of compliments, but they boost my height by about two and a half inches. Two and a half inches may not seem like much but it does wonders for your confidence, which is what really matters.
Women wear high heals to improve their looks, why can’t we?
3. Forget About the Minor Bullshit and Open Your Eyes
I was in a local bar the other night when my dream girl walked in. I’ve seen her around town before and have even talked to her on a few occasions. She’s incredibly attractive and a really cool person, the whole package. I’m not sure why I never pursued her, perhaps I still have some underlying confidence issues.
Her boyfriend came into the bar that night and what I saw was a shock to my system. The boyfriend was the spitting image of myself, we could have been twins! Same height, looks, body type; the only difference between us was that he was overflowing with confidence and machismo. Shit, that could have easily been me with this amazing girl.
Sometimes we don’t realize what’s possible until we see it happen. Sometimes we are Neil…
GEORGE: Some guy. Some guy? Neil! I have got to find out how he could get a girl like Danielle.
GEORGE: So, I’m Neil? How did I do that?
JERRY: I don’t know, but you better keep it up.
GEORGE: I’m gonna go meet Danielle. There’s a new Neil in
town!
4. Flying Under The Radar
On another night, I had been hitting on a cute girl when a shorter friend of mine (5’2″) swooped in and stole her out from under my nose. He took her home that night before I had even realized what happened. Ironically, I had swooped in and stole her away from a six foot tall giant earlier in the night.
The shorter the guy, the easier it is to fly under the radar.
5. Short and Athletic Trumps Tall, Fat and Frumpy
Another time, I observed a short but athletic guy come into the bar with his girlfriend. He couldn’t have been more than 5’3, yet he was built like a bulldog. She towered over him by about six inches and could have easily been a model for the Suicide Girls.
Later, I asked him how he got such an attractive girlfriend and his response:
“You gotta hit the gym man; take care of your body and the girls will take care of you.”
6. The Average Woman is Shorter Than the Average Man
It’s true that women tend to be attracted to taller men. Here’s the thing, taller doesn’t always mean six feet, it’s more of a relative term compared to the woman.
It’s also true that women on average are shorter than men on average. This means that it’s highly likely there is a whole population of cute shorter women waiting for you.
As short as you are, you will always be taller relative to your shorter female counterparts.
7. Life Is Not Fair, Deal With It
Just because you get dealt a bad hand in the gene pool doesn’t mean you can fold your cards and wait for the next hand. There is no next hand. You can only work with the cards you’ve been dealt . Yes, you’ll have to work harder, but so what, what else could you possibly do?
If there are any short men out there who have had a lot of success in the dating game, please share your stories.
If there are any tall women who date or are in a relationship with a short man, please let us know what attracted you to him.
Good post.
I’ve had at least two girls who are like five two express their preference for only dating men five ten or taller. Wow. So they’ll only date guys EIGHT inches taller than men or more? That’s absurd.
Anyway, I’ve figured out via trial and error that seven or eight inches is actually what a lot of girls look for height-differential-wise. You’re tall enough she can rest ther head on your shoulder and you can throw her around during sex, but the height difference doesn’t look weird.
So since I’m five seven, I usually aim at girls around five feet or so. I’ve had great success with this demographic, enough percentile-wise to make me think that height is a HUGE factor for girls, at least early on, and that you almost need to be a certain amount taller than her. I’m not saying it’s the alpha and omega, but all the girls who’ve been very physically attracted to me have been at least six or seven inches shorter. I don’t believe this is a coincidence.
However, I’m not complaining at all, because I enjoy very short girls as well. They have tiny, narrower vaginas on average and you can throw her around in sex. It works itself out.
Something else to remember: different countries’ populations have different average heights. When I lived in America, I wouldn’t say I was short, but I was definitely on the short side of average. After I moved to Israel, I noticed that my height here is just average. There, it was an uphill battle to attract girls of even average height. Here, my height only becomes an issue with tall girls.
If you’re short and an American, it doesn’t mean you have to be that way forever.
@Orin,
The eight inch differential sounds about right but that’s if you didn’t factor in other qualities. For instance, I think men with tight game and confidence can narrow that difference considerably. Most of the girls I’ve dated/hooked up with have mostly been within a couple of inches either way.
@Genius
Good point about different height averages in different countries. I actually got the numbers for my chart above from the following wikipedia page on average height around the world .
Clearly the best countries to be a short male is in the Asian or South American countries.
At 5’10″, I really can’t blame any of my game deficiencies on my height, but I can tell you that even at my height the grass is always greener. I know girls who follow the Rule of 6: they only date men who have a 6-pack, make 6 figures, and are over 6 feet tall. Many girls I’ve talked to, when asked what they look for in a guy, physically, say they want a tall guy first and foremost. If you go on match. com, you’ll see a lot of girls put up a height minimum at 5’9 or 5’10. Some of the taller and hotter girls require 6′. I think with online dating though, height become more important because A) you don’t have much info to go off of and B) everybody lies about their height online.
More attractive girls tend to be pickier about height, but then again, they’re pickier about everything (they can afford to be). But in addition to having more options, I have a theory as to why hotter girls may have more of a NEED for a taller guy. Its because they get more attention from men – both positive AND negative. So hotter girls have more of a need to feel protected than an uglier girl and this might be part of the reason why they prioritize height. Just a thought.
Another thing to remember is that a lot of height is psychological. Fitness, proportions and clothes can really alter how tall or short you appear. And attitude. It blew my mind when I found out Jim Carrey is is 6’2 because his persona is that of a dweeby nebbish. Likewise, I was surprised to hear that Brad Pitt is only average height – I think it’s because of his lean frame and leading man persona that I assumed him to be taller (he’s also a notorious lift-wearer).
Ya know, I used to be one of those girls hung up on height (I blame bad prom pics!) but a recent guy flipped that.
We’re both 5’7 but I tend to always wear heels (2 to 3 inch min) so he usually looks shorter than me, but like you said, his confidence made up for the height and made me open to a guy I would normally reject. I was worried about being able to be picked up and such, but he keeps his body in great shape so it was never an issue.
So, I guess what I’m saying is… Go for it guys! Matt hit it on the head when he said confidence and good body type are key!
Excellent post. I just stumbled across your blog by chance while reading another one – I saw the title and had to come by.
I am 5’2″ tall. I have never had any issues with my height at all, I couldn’t care less about it actually. I’ve never felt like I HAD to date tall men, but it seems that a lot of tall men were attracted to me, so it just happened that way. I never gave height that much thought until I was with a man for a very long time who was 6’4″ tall. To be quite honest, it was annoying after a while. He couldn’t fly comfortably on a plane (even in Economy Plus with extra legroom, it wasn’t enough – and we paid extra for it), he had to lay a specific way on the king size bed or his feet would hang off the end, finding jeans that were long enough was nearly impossible, he hit his head a countless number of times on a hanging light fixture in our home…along with him being tall he had the biggest freaking feet in the world (LOL) size 14 – and we had to pay outrageous amounts for shoes. The whole “fun” factor of him being tall wore off rather quickly… especially when the first thing everyone said about pictures of us was always “wow he’s tall!” Really? I hadn’t noticed that, thanks for pointing it out.
Before I was with him, I did date a couple of men who were shorter. they ranged from 5’5″ to 5’9″ or so and then the rest were 6′ and over. The couple of men I did date who were on the shorter side really turned me off with the whole angry complex they had about their height. I’m not a man so I didn’t understand it, but your analogy about it being like women who are overweight makes sense. I tried my best to reassure them that height was never an issue and I hate wearing heels anyway, so I was always shorter than them… but it did nothing for them. I have to agree that confidence does go a very long way, especially with me. Confidence is sexy at any height.
On the flip side of this argument, I have 2 friends who are ridiculously hung-up on height. One is 5’9″ and the other is 5’7″ and they are forever saying “he’s cute, but he’s too short” and I feel offended for the guy. They are disqualifying him strictly based on looks. (I’m always willing to give him a chance though. so it’s good for me!) I want to look at them sometimes and say “how would you feel if a man disqualified you because you’ve got a fat ass? Wouldn’t make you feel good, now would it?” They started in with calling me short and I gave them both the royal smackdown about it. I’m not going to listen to it. In fact, they anger me quite a bit acting like that… they’re the reason that short people have a complex about their height (or lack thereof) in the first place.
So, anyway…. I wanted to come by and post a comment and tell you I can relate. There ARE single women out there who won’t disqualify you based on height alone and you just have to find the right ones.
I am back in the dating pool now and I have to admit, I’d much rather have a shorter man than another tall pain in the ass who complains about his height too much! Also, may I just say… we’re all the same height in bed… so keep that in mind next time someone tries to complain about it
@ Orin…generally I find that short women don’t like dating short guys. Women not only consider the physical appearance of their boyfriend in an isolated context…they look at how the boyfriend and she will appear together, as a public team.
One short girl has told me that she doesn’t want to make a “short scene” in public with her equally short boyfriend. A tall man will compensate for her physical conspicuousness and deflect undue attention.
Im 5-6 asian american and have had beautiful woman as tall as 6 ft and as small as 5-2. It is true that most “hot” tall leggy women will not “see” me in a social gathering unless i stand out confidently in personality and looks. I have always made up for my height thru the sexual confidence Ive attained by utilizing my past experience with taller “out of my league” women.
Believe me there a plenty tall hotties with low self esteem, drunk, vulnerable, and sexually cavalier appetites for a short guy to hit! Been “sweeping up” taller babes all the time! You just have to make them feel small and special.
Hello Modern Savage-I’m 5’7-I an relate:
However I did have some good game the past few days.
For those in the know-one of the toughest places to game is a nude beach…
I just came hear to relax. About a dozen guys were surrounding the three hotties with their tops off. I wasn’t looking to sarge so I headed away from that little scene.
Outta nowhere a knockout blond came off the trail. I’m standing ankle deep in water buck naked. She looks my way and smiles. She keeps headin’ north. Well, she gave me a go signal and I’m on full game mode now. I wait a few moments and nonchalantly walk north past where she has gone into the water. I head back, she is wearing a blue bikini and exiting the water.
I say, “it’s nice hear, isn’t it.”
She answers back “yes.”
I catch an accent and ask where she’s from after we exchange names. She is Swiss and her name is Sahara. She is studying English in downtown sd. The chat is nice, goin’ a little slower than I’d like but the eye contact is good. She asks me about why I’m naked. The convo is going in a more amourous direction. I tell her it feels nice–and ask if she isn’t because she is shy. She says some things are private, then looks right at my privates and smiles again.
The sexual tension is imense. I’ve worked on my inner game and fully accepted my sexuality. A lesser man would be embarrassed. My body reacts in the most honest way. I sport a huge erection. She seems surprised. She says she’s going back to the coast. I don’t pursue…
I’m so hard it hurts. A lesser man would find a private spot and rubb one out. I let the cool water calm my engourged member down.
Later on, I catch up to her as we are walking up the trail. I smile and ask if she was embarassed by what happened. She giggles an says it’s okay. She heads towards the bus stop. I offer her a ride. She is a bit hesitant but accepts. We head downtown. I drop her off and jokingly say that she should buy me a coffee. She says howabout diner. We go to a nearby burrito shop. She has seen me naked and haven’t seen her yet. A lesser man might feel slighted by this imbalance in power but I use it to my advantage. I say, “You’ve seen me naked, you’ve seen an intimate side of me now tell me one of your secrets.”
Eye contact has been good at this point, but nothing physical yet. I am respecting her physical boundaries and letting her build trust. At this point I gently grab her hands and look into her eyes. She looks away but doesn’t pull away. She looks back and giggles.
“What is it?”
“I’m…..how do you say, virgin….”
“Really. ”
“I’ve seen boys before but never, how do you say aroused…”
“How did it make you feel”
“It was beautiful” she states…
We finish our meal and she says she has got to get going.
I tell her that we should see each other again. I forge ahead a step further than most PUA’s as I don’t even have her digits. This is not a normal pickup as she has already seen me naked but I haven’t even kissed her yet. I know this move could get me shut out, but better to be shut out than play games that go nowhere. She gets the hint and pulls her phone from her purse. I enter my number into her phone and call my phone so I have her number in my phone.
We gently hug.
I get a call from her the next day. There’s a party and she wants me to come along. It’s a Thursday night. Those Europeans can drink and she is already buzzed. Unlike most PUA’s my best game is stone cold sober. I have about two drinks. She tells how we met to two beautiful french girls. They laugh and their body language is very flirtatious… The night is moving slowly for me. I met alott of different people from brazil, russia, spain…. I walk here back to her apt. She sloppily kisses me. We make a date for tommorrow.
Next day I take her to a movie. I’ve got a hook up so I don’t have to pay for tickets. We cuddly up. The physical contact is good. We wind up making out. She pushes my hands away when I touch her breasts–shut down. I’ll have to take things slower than I like. I walk her back to her apt. She says she would like to go back to the beach.
On Sat. we walk down the trail. We find a section that is mostly couples and mostly older. We set up I strip off all my clothes. Most the men are naked. Some of the women are fully covered, some topless and only a few are naked. Sahara stays in her bikini. We go into the water. We get back to our towels and lay down. I offer a massage and she accepts. I undo her bikini top. After the massage she lays down with her top undone for an hour. I say we should walk up the coast. he starts to put on her top. I tell her not to be shy and go topless.
She covers her breasts with her arm and I hold her other hand. We walk down the coast. As she is getting more relaxed her arm drops. Two drooling surfer guys walk past and stare. She gets a bit self concious and covers up. We walk back to the towels. I tell her that the sensation of being in the water naked is awesome. She tells me to look away. When? I look back, she is totally naked. I say now we’ve both seen each other. We run to the water and splash each other. WE head back to the trail and I drive her top her place. She invites me in. She says she is going to shower and invites me to join her. I fianaly get to feel her pert b cups. We kiss fevershly. She looks at my engourged member with hungry eyes. Iguide her hands to my penis. She is hestiant at first I stroke myself a few times then she begins stroking. She is amazed when she sees me ejaculate against the shower wall. We talk afterwards and she says she has no plans to lose her virginity.
Any plans on how to make this happen is appreciated.
Sun. - was not able to see her due to obligations.
Hope to be the one she loses her virginity to.
This sounds… how do you say… apocryphal.
Thought I would stick with the Infinite Jest theme…and be the mangled and demented one. )
Anyway, something that has occurred to me before about dealing with height insecurity is age/status, probably because I’m still young, 21, and although quite capable of building a great future, currently broke and limited by that. I’m 5’4” for the record,
with big hair that gives me an extra inch — but the truth is I could easily still pass for an 18 year-old.
Up until college, I did really well with girls, I think partly on the strength of my personality/character and partly because I’m lucky enough to at least be handsome, but college was a huge drop off. I was respected by nearly everyone knew, had plenty of female friends, but always kind of “shrunk” in the face of my own personal problem: assuming all girls either dismissed me or could read my acquired insecurity like a book. I’ve recalled that people were shockingly more mature about finding a partner in high school than they are in college, because the thrill and novelty of being an ‘adult’ drives you into situations (bars, strangers’ parties, foreign countries) that do more to assimilate or expel you than define you.
But what I want to say is: it’s amazing how a person can be intelligent and confident in so many ways and yet fail when it comes to believing that they are desirable as a composite, fully fledged human being. I don’t know why I became hyper-conscious of my height when I did…possibly because a man’s bones fuse at my age and the idea of being at my final height is chilling. I mean, to be Old and Short: is that not the brutally terse self-image plaguing this ubiquitous middle-aged short man who feels indiscriminitely written off in so many hurtful ways that it’s best, or easiest, to just ignore it without ever accepting it for what it is? To skulk?
Now, I can speculate because I’m young and I retain my boyishness – which has its charms – for the time being. But then I think this is the kind of speculation that dooms us to become this haunted person and have to dig ourselves out after some damage has already been done. It’s too easy to get so self-involved in the working out of all kinds of scenarios and explanations for rejection and failure – past, present, future – that we lose the ability to be the least bit unassuming about things we actually know cannot just be assumed. My point isn’t to be overly cheery and say that a lot of things aren’t shallow and predictable – that our culture isn’t dismally comforting and numbing in its conventions – but on the other hand, if we can think of ourselves as, you know, fundamentally something other than a f*cking measurement or an object of opinion, then we might be more inclined to believe in ourselves. Too many people also do really, obnoxiously well to justify rotting in contempt.
Whoa. Well I guess I’ll just close with a paraphrase of Seinfeld’s line to George in the reunion episode on Curb: he basically says there are people to be met all over the place – on the bus, at the store, now online, wherever – and yet somehow all these people seem so self-absorbed and self-important that it’s impossible to ever make contact with them. Because, he says, strangers have a bad reputation. That’s funny, but I disagree. There’s no contact because we are what we rotely infer in others.
I’m very late to the party here. But I really need to share this one.
Back in college there was this beautiful, frighteningly sexy hippie chick everyone wanted. She would play frisbee in a bikini top and cause the entire campus Quad to hold their collective breath. And she had a boyfriend who was a super cool musician, who was way better looking than me. I was around 5’2″ and a freshman then and didn’t think I had a chance. Plus she was older. But I contrived a way to meet her, and over two months won her over, just as the end of the school year came to a close and we left the dorms.
After being home from school for a week, I received a letter from her. She told me she’d broken up with her boyfriend. Then she invited me to visit her — she lived probably 50 miles away. AND she contined to write me letters after this.
I never took her up on this offer. Why? Because I had an idiotic father telling me no one would ever like me because of my height (I was short because of meds I was on as a kid and this was a huge deal to him). So I totally lacked confidence and bowed out of the would-be relationship by simply no longer responding to her.
Two decades passed. I contacted her on Facebook. She was not happy to hear from me. From what I gather, she took this rejection hard. Twenty years later, she’s still angry with me for what she perceived was disinterest but was really fear of rejection, ultimately.
I don’t think I need to spell out the moral here. And I’ll add that this is but one of dozens of similar stories of mine, all revolving around lack of self-0confidence. All you younger short guys should take heed.
Days of Broken Arrows;
That is the most tragic thing I have ever read. But perhaps your horrible story serves a purpose in educating others in some twisted way. It certainly opened my eyes.
Self confidence is our battle that we must continually fight, and so many things come in-between our self-acceptance. From height, to being called names, and becoming skeptical of our own value as a person.
Ouch. This topic is a toughie. I always catch myself mentioning “tall” as a good thing when giving clothing advice to/in front of shorter male friends or describing an attractive man. However, I can definitely support the you’re-short-but-she’s-shorter solution – I’m 5’3″ and I’ve dated guys who were 5’8″ and 5’9″ (the 5’9″ guy was a certified hottie in my opinion too)… I never felt like they were short because I was 5-6 inches shorter – but I do enjoy my heels. I’ve got to say that sans heels, I loved it because it looked “right” when we took pictures together. (It’s a bit awkward for me to take photos with my 6′ husband now – I always feel like standing on a box.) What can I say? These are the types of things women think about… so take a picture with her early
Cailin
And you gals call us guys shallow….It “looks right”? Thats like saying to a small breasted female…”sorry honey you just do not look like a real woman, real women have bigger breasts” if a guy said that he would be crucified as being a pig, orge and all…I appreciate your honesty but women like you are downright awful shallow human beings…what if you had a child that was a cripple or was born without a limb or two, would you look at that child as not being a “whole” person? down right awful…
Er…I didn’t say anything about taller men (please remember, in the sentence you’re referring to I was noting a positive of dating a shorter man) not looking like a “real” or “whole” man… I think you’re taking my comment a wee bit too seriously. How does the fact that I enjoyed being able to see both mine and my boyfriend’s head in a photograph at the same time have anything to do with how I’d feel about a “cripple” (by the way, nice PC term there buddy) child? If that makes me a “downright shallow awful human being”, so be it – but I think it’s much more shallow to instantly relate a woman’s opinion (on why dating a short man is actually nicer at times, no less) to your gender-divided agenda and put her down with little tact (or basis, for that matter).
Short girls demand tall guys. Tall girls prefer, but usually demand the same. I often wonder what’s more important in a mate because it seems that women place higher value on the practicality of their high heels. Short guys often don’t fit into the relationship equation with women because the shoes have the final say. It’s sad, but it’s so true. The only time a man’s height doesn’t matter to women is in the extremely rares cases when she doesn’t require him to be X amount of inches taller than her.
Too bad for Days of Broken Arrows. He must’ve found one of those rare tall girls who places no importance on a man’s height. Guy should have found the guts to ask her out, but in a sense I don’t blame him for not pursuing her more dilligently. Tall women can be very cruel, if not vicious in their treatment of shorter guys. For every tall girl that politely rejects a shorter guy saying “thank you, but I’m involved with someone,” truth or lies be told, there’s ten other tall girls that will laugh in your face or humiliate you for even trying. Nothing shatters a short man’s confidence quicker than a tall chick with height issues who goes out of her way to make the shorter guy feel like absolute crap just because he asked her for a date.
Tall girl must have really fell hard for DOBA considering she’s still mad at him after all those years. DOBA not giving her “a chance,” and subsequently avoiding correspondence is no different than the hords of women who don’t give short guys the same opportunity and excommunicate them in the process. Harsh reality, but as a 5’5 guy, this is nothing new to me and I can’t sympathize. Women may think they’re letting a guy down easy by avoiding his phone calls and deleting his emails without explanation. Nothing could be further from the truth. I’d rather a girl be straight up and tell me that it couldn’t work. I guess it’s a safe bet that the tall girl now understands a microcosm of the BS that short guys go through.
DOBA, don’t blame your dad. He was trying to save you, the short guy from the embarrassment and ridicule that goes with approaching the taller ladies. Not all of them are evil but it does take confidence to approach any woman. Don’t let it happen again, talk to as many ladies as possible and learn to accept and deal with rejection.
I know I’m one in a million, but I love short guys. I’m 5’7, and I will look at a guy over my height…
Kevin Connolly did get Emanuelle Chriqui… my only advice, don’t be an asshole trying to compensate for your height. That’s a complete turnoff, but the confidence (despite being ‘short’) is the sexiest thing in a man.
i’m 5’5″ and skinny. i try to workout and eat more but haven’t grown much muscle. i only deadlift about 400, squat 300 and bench about 240 for maxes. ofcourse i try to add volume. i’m in my late 20s and have gone from 135 lbs to 155 lbs, but some of it is fat. how can i grow more muscle to be a bulldog? i have more of an athletic build where before i was slim and cut. all this hard work and little benefit. help..
@tim ,
I’m a skinny guy too and also have a tough time bulking up, though to be honest I haven’t really tried much. I’ve been reading Tim Ferriss’ new book, The Four Body, and he seems to have some pretty good techniques for bulking which includes some vigorous kettle bell workouts. Could be worth checking out.
I’m 5’5″ and understand that most women tend to care more about wearing heels than their potential future husband/boyfriend. Part of it I just don’t get the “i can’t wear heels”.
Firstly, shorter men don’t emit a force field that prevent women from putting on heels (this is true in 100% of cases)
Secondly, shorter men don’t care if a girl is taller (this is true of me)
Thirdly, people matter more than footwear (or at least humans should matter more than footwear)
However the media is partly to blame for this. The way short men are portrayed in movies and TV shows. Heck when people think of “short” actors they commonly mention Tom Cruise who at 5’7.5″ is only tad bit below the mean height men. Not a true short actor like Michael J. Fox at 5’4″. I remember there was a debate over Daniel Craig as the new James Bond a few years back because he was “only” 5’10″
Also the entire “short man syndrome” thing is completely bullshit. I’ve been told that I am successful in school because I am “compensating for my height”. So if I have a high GPA I’m compensating and if I have a low GPA I’m a stupid/idiotic short guy? It is also a label that seems to be arbitrarily attached to shorter men who act identically to taller men.
I guess one positive is that being short weeds out >99% superficial, shallow women. However it also serves as a primary elimination factor for the vast majority of women.
Yeah, height matters to women, but so does confidence, as much, if not more so, I would say.
Regardless of how tall you are, never let it make yourself feel insignificant, less worthy or less capable than guys who are taller. And if a certain girl isn’t interested in you because she thinks you’re short, then so what, there are plenty of fish in the sea.
Really, I think short guys have it much easier than ugly women. We can compensate with personality, confidence, money etc. very ugly girls can’t really.
Oh, and I’m 5″7.
Hey Matt, great of you to write about this subject. Letting us know the obstacles you’ve overcome gives you good credibility. I’m 5’6″ by the way.
Dude, your money with these articles. I got hooked to your blog after going on Google looking up “how beatin’ it can affect your mood around girls”. Your blog came up on “Male affects of masturbation on attracting females” or whatever its called and I couldn’t get over how right on you were/are.
I’m about 5’7 – 5’8 and have never had a problem with girls, in fact I have a problem with too many girls (too many GRENADES!).
This brings me to why I’m writing you! I would and Im sure others would also love you to write a article on “how and why a guys mood can change if he’s talking to a new smoking hot girl and how to deal with it. My problem is I’m not my self around them, but when it comes to not so hot girls I pull the rip cord off grenade with no hesitation. WHY IS THIS. Honestly, I’m sick of waking up with these fatty’s in my bed, I’m too small and too good looking for this nonsense! It’s not that I cant pull hotties, because I have and can, but I think my problem is that I throw all my cards in too early and go with the easy, not so hot chick, almost all the time because its….easy. Anyways, I would love you to blog on this, THANKS!!
As a girl who’s 6’1, I love this article. Once I got it into my head that not every guy I dated had to be taller than me, suddenly I was going out on a *lot* more dates. Guys have a problem with height just as much as girls — I get “giraffe,” “amazon”, and “Xena” all the time.
What frustrates me with going out with shorter guys is their lack of confidence. I own six pairs of 3″ heels — I couldn’t wear them for years because my dates didn’t want to feel short. And everything came back to the height issue. It couldn’t be that I’m neurotic, or that they never paid for dinner, or that there just wasn’t a spark that meant we didn’t go out on a third date. Nope, everything boiled down to the height disparity.
For the record, I don’t care about what height a guy is. If he has the confidence to approach me when I’m rocking my “attack of the 60 foot tall woman” pumps, he deserves a date. And if you need an example of a short man with confidence, check out Peter Dinklage as Tyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones. That man is the hottest actor in the series for sheer attitude, as far as I’m concerned.
Hi Cassie, question for you.
How long did it take you to get it into your head that a guys height shouldn’t be the here all and end of a relationship? It’s not as if 6 feet guys grow on trees right? Were you strictly a “no men shorter than me allowed/my man must be at least 6 feet ” girl? Confidence is definitely important but I think the issue has more to do with women because very few ladies measure confidence equally between short and tall guys. Tall guys are supposed to have confidence but more often get a free pass because they are tall. Girls may like tall guys even if they come across as wimps. Short guys have to work harder for everything in life and are often unfairly stamped with negative labels based on our size. I’m not an aggressive Napoleanic guy with short man syndrome, but I will admit to avoiding the taller girls sometimes because my confidence has been misconstrued by as an excuse to call me over-aggressive and annoying. It’s almost as if I’m wrong for even trying to talk to a girl your height no matter how polite or respectful I am to you. Hate to say it, but girls your size rarely open themselves up to short guys anyways. A lot of you hate it when we try to make conversation and are quick to pass us off as creeps with creepier fetishes. That’s what bothers me the most about tall women even though I do find them attractive. So with that being said, kudos to you if you are different and don’t mind short guys approaching you. I certainly would, and the heels would never, ever be an issue.
Sonny,
You make a good point there, but I think that you’re also using a pretty broad brush. I rarely opened up to anyone in high school or college when I went out, simply because guys who were shorter than me had a habit of making me feel bad about how tall I was. In response, I would say that people are quick to pass off tall girls as aggressive sporty types who wouldn’t deign to have a drink bought for them. I can tell you it’s not true. I want to be the fairytale princess as bad as any girl who’s 5’5, but the truth is that men don’t approach me in the same way.
The reason I’m with my current boyfriend is that he opened doors for me, pulled my chair out, and refused to let me pay for my own drinks. He makes me feel feminine, and height isn’t a part of that. Height assumptions run both ways — don’t assume that all tall women are domineering, aggressive ice princesses. I don’t assume that all short men have napoleon complexes and hairy feet.
To answer your question, it took me a couple of years into college. My first boyfriend was 6’7 and an asshole. Rude, expected me to pay for everything, and emotionally and sexually selfish. Once we broke up, I realized that the only standard I had had was “Tall. Taller than me.” Once I changed my standards to “smart, funny, kind, and playful.” and knocked “Tall” out of the list, I found a lot more men who were a lot better — and a lot better for me.
I’m 5’6 I always go by the 6 rule. Must be able to stand 6 hours with my friends, must know 6 good jokes, must get his socks in the laundry basket 6 out of 7 days. As for a guys height..I dated a guy who was 6’3 and was the smallest man I knew..Current boyfriend is 5’6 and larger than life :-)))))
Wow If only I was 5’6 or even 5’4.
Im 5’2 and it is horrible in everyway. I thought I read the blog to make me feel better but it has made me feel worse.
I am a good looking bloke and has always been in a relationship, but they have never lasted. like they are not happy with what they got. My last relationship was for 7 years and I had a child with her who now is 5. She was a model and was 5’10 and bloody gorgeous, an English rose they say.
Now I am single again and going out I have realized how strangely the opposite sex looks at me.
I get looked at as abnormal or laughed at and it is very difficult for me to pull. I feel like a fucking idiot on the dance floor. “Look at that midget”, some people say.
I do pull, most the time as I am very good looking and confident.
So people put yourself in my shoes. I consider personally, anybody man who is 5’4 and above normal looking in the public eye, imagine being my size, you should have no problem what so ever with the women.
If only .
When asked a lot of girls will say they like tall guys. But this is when asked. People are notorious for not understanding what they actually want. Even when asked things like what do they shop for. Sex is going to be even more inaccurate than common things.
What matters is what they do ‘in the wild’. I think most of the time other factors such as confidence, charm, whit, etc are far more important.
Would any of you guys go out with a girl with a fat ass, big lips but small boobies? These hypothetical questions are stupid. You can’t judge going out with someone based on height alone, if you can than you have no standards. Even what April said, if shes hot then shes hot, but you guys must start to screen for the personality types you get along with.
I constantly refer to Tom Cruise as a universal example of shortness not being a factor. Every female movie-star he`s been with has been taller than him.
Does it mean girls don`t like tall guys? No. but it does mean that how you handle yourself is what REALLY matters to a girl.
Comparing height and weight is apples and oranges.
1. Women don’t want overweight men either. What woman wants to date a man who has enough fat around the midsection to make up a small child?
2. Weight can change, height can not. Weight is an indication of how one has been taking care of themselves, height is not. No matter how poorly someone eats in adulthood they will never be shorter or taller, but their weight will change.
Stick with proper comparisons.
Okay, so not all girls like shorter guys and women in general are way to into height. There are some women who like shorter guys. For example I love and prefer shorter guys! I feel just wrong dating anyone over 6’0 and I’m 5’10! No offense to taller guys but shorter guys are generally sweeter and funnier than their taller counterparts. My ideal height for a guy would be 5’6 or 5’7 but I’d go down to 5’4. Other women can go ahead and be silly about not dating anyone under 6’0 I guess it just leaves more for me
Hi Nola!
Awesome post, thank you very much! The world would be a much better place for short guys if there were more women like you. Thanks for looking down! It’s still so rare for a tall woman to have an open appreciation for shorter guys. In North America, women are taught and trained to hold reservations against us, believing we are bad protectors and inferior to tall guys at everything.
I’m 5’5, and every taller girl I’ve met with the exception of one has used the height excuse against me whether it was direct or indirect. None of them were blunt or rude about it. They just figured the easy thing to do was ex-communicate me and dissappear without explanation. One girl at least had the decency to tell me straight up that my height was her problem. Despite her telling me I was a handsome guy with a nice body, it just “wouldn’t work out” in her words. I guess that was her polite way of saying “sorry dude, you’re good looking, just not tall enough for me.” Funny, I get more of this stuff from the ladies my height and shorter.
Oh well, too bad for her and more short guys for you like you say! BTW, it’s ok to spread the word and share with your tall sisters too!
I am guy 5/3.5 and pretty sexy i think what matters is your tight game. Girls give me attention all day as i work in retail going kino and shit ;P. I’m pretty new to cold “pick up” finally getting over a breakup and getting back out there. So just trying to calibrate better when I’m in clubs no girls really comment on height unless your being a real doosh bag and trying to hard like when my friend tried to accomplish intro me as he was hammered and knew a girl who was supposedly “easy” saying I was a God talking me up talking me up blah blah blah he was drunk and the girl said your height is not very godly however I said yeh I do ive got heaps of height I can touch the sky or something stupid and stacked forwarded. What works best is making anything people say about your height ridiculous and if you get a laugh it is good but the main goal is to say things like yeh i cant reach it id need a fuckin trampoline to get up there etc. My main barrier for me when talking to HBs is calibrating my routines. Remember if you absolutely know yourself and HOW you are going to react in any given scenario this is very attractive to women and all people you meet beyond measure I think. People will seek your validation. Love everyone in the world and they will return the favour. Dont take it personal what people say as this just shows that you view yourself in this light. Ive only recently discovered this as I never had a problem with my height affecting my psyche until for the first time in a while a couple ppl at work were ripping into me about being short like not being able to see over the counter and shit which is funny the guy was being a joker which he always is I wasnt really aware of this and took it totally the wrong way I should have responded with something like “yeh ill need fuckin spring shoes to see over this bitch” or something of that nature but instead didn’t say anything to encourage his humorous side. I was stressed about just moving into my new role with these people and trying to act professionally which made me look like a real spoil sport. He only just recently made a joke about my height and hes like “it took you this long to shrug off a joke about you being short haha”. So the key I’ve found is to laugh at yourself as its not you they are laughing at its your height. Flipping this scenario into a funny light or “re-framing” – credit from Neil Strauss writer of the game, is attractive to women men and really anybody who sees your ability to lead a conversation in the path you want it to go. If someone straight up says your short just say yeh I know like its the first time you’ve heard it or just reply if someones says hey shortass just say hey mate they will get over it very quickly trust me I know it took me like 6 months to figure this out the hard way by always reacting and trying to be like no i’m not short what are you blind and always reacting badly. Some people will keep saying things if they will get a reaction from you. Same with if people call you gay you can sarcastically say yeh im a raging homo clearly. It just gets awkward if they continue pestering you about it, or if you do something stupid just say yeh i left my brains at home today i think my IQ is about 10. Nobody can say anything to that and you kind of look smart for coming up with a witty retort. So encourage people when they make fun of your height and brush off people that say short-stuff etc it’s probably the best, these people are usually insecure anyway so don’t even worry they are too insecure about themselves to worry about you. If you have a good sense of humor this will get you out of any situation just make it ridiculous and you disarm yourself as the target and you can stack forward to other things. As you can see I’ve given this a lot of thought as I do with everything in life (i cant help it!) it has baffled me how only when I have made a conscious awareness of people calling me short has it been a problem. Just figure out how to deal with it and move on which I feel I have nicely. Some of my successes recently include one night stands (girls not too hot as obviously you have to start low then aim high haha). Getting the sexy hot bartenders number I was quite pleased with that. Getting cute girls numbers who have boyfriends. getting numbers does not really take you as far as you think as usually unless there is enough comfort and trust its hard to know what to say when you ring them its awkward create a time bridge – all credit to Mystery. You should read his book the mystery method I recommend it its got some great techniques for moving through the attraction stages. Talking to really beautiful girls when I’m on a roll there is not really much that can stop me and girls love the confidence and just genuinely having tight game. Your already ahead of so many guys who have their tail between their legs it says alot about you if you can just go literally up to whoever and start talking to them. I take feedback from girls by their IOIs such as as allowing kino escalation, if shes laughing etc etc. What girls openly say I am going to talk to that guy and sleep with him you have to have enough game to make it happen. Yeah sure good looking and/or tall guys may have it easier but if they have no game they can still be useless when trying to pick up women. I am a human testament that height does not matter for pickup unless you make it an issue for yourself. Count your successes and visualize these every time you feel you need some encouragement it works for me. Just go out one night and approach every girl you can see in the club if it means getting drunk do it just see that you wont get blown out because of your height you’ll get blown out for saying something very dumb or doing something stupid like grabbing a girl and trying to hook up with her off nothing. Just do it and you will rid your approach anxiety and see yourself in a world you really want to be in and can continue improving your skills by practice on all the unsuspecting poor ladies out there till your game is really tight. If you need to see some inspiration watch this clip of this champion PUA instructor he is definitely much shorter than this chick and he sets up a date to see her that night there are other videos but i liked this one. Yeah I mean I could be a complete naive fucking moron but that’s just my thoughts on this matter and seems to satisfy my overall self worth and thought I would share! Remember if your too short just get some big ass platforms like borderline stilts. Here is the video: http://www. youtube. com/watch? v=yZfLGTOyi2g&feature=related
Just wanted to throw this little gem out there for my fellow short brothers:
It is much easier for you to pick-up and date a girl of normal or taller-than-normal height. Even if she is significantly taller than you. Why?
By her very nature a woman wants to give her offspring the best genes possible (just like men want to have sex with as many women as possible). Subconsciously she will immediately reject a short male as that will guarantee her offspring will be short (even if she says otherwise).
In that last paragraph I meant to write:
Subconsciously a short woman will immediately reject a short male as that will guarantee her offspring will be short (even if she says otherwise). That is why you rarely see short women with short men.
A tall woman will not have this trigger (at least not subconsciously). Your chances with an average or tall woman is much, much better.
Two shorter people having children does not guarantee short children. My parents were both below average height (by U. S. standards at 5’1″ and 5’7″) and had a son who ended up being 6’1″. That is an ignorant statement.
Although I agree with women having this trigger as they have been socially conditioned into thinking more height means a person is more of a human and a better person.
That may be true (regarding the two short people having a tall child) but it’s irrelevant. What the woman subconciously perceives to be true is what matters — that two short people will have a short child. That is why you almost always see very short women with very tall men.
If you believe otherwise then either you are not a short man or you have a very difficult road ahead of you trying to pick up short women (as a short man).
You are right it is irrelevant (in this case it is true because I know how tall my father, mother and brother are) because reality doesn’t matter for many women when it comes to dating. Height is associated with health, taller being healthier even though there is a spectrum of issues with short men being at higher risk for heart disease and tall men being at higher risk for cancer. A short man who acts identically to a tall man is labeled as having “short man syndrome” while the tall man is lauded.
Unlike my brother I’m short, trust me I’ve heard most of it from women including the “you are half a man”, “second rate human”, etc. From my experience it’s not tall women who height matters less to but women who are average in height (5’3″-to-5’5″) with the shorter and taller side of the bell curve (5’7″) having more requirements for height with regards to dating. Taller women appear to desperately want a man taller than them so they can “feel” feminine.
I am a 5’9″ female. Men and women are always telling me I’m very attractive or beautiful, have a great body, etc. and, although flattered, due to my gawky teenage years, I am still a bit surprised at this reaction to me. I am kind, possesses good values, think for myself and am quite independent. I get asked out alot but am selective – I want a nice guy with good values, etc. I am crazy about a guy who I estimate to be about 5’4 1/2″ tops. I think he is a doll. We have tons in common and I would love to go out with him. We were working together and I know that he would not date someone he works with due to his role at the workplace. This year he is working elsewhere – actually a place I used to work – because they took his office out of my building due to room contraints (unfortunately, this move makes it difficult for me to see him very often). Although his position warrents that he be pretty damned tough, in the past he has become what I would term nervous or flustered the couple of times I casually mentioned doing something (not a date) outside of work (others in the workplace do things after work sometimes). I’m not sure how experienced he is with women – he has not dated anyone during the time I’ve known him. Despite his outward persona, he has made negative comments related to his nose or how thin he used to be. On one occasion, when we were talking in the parking lot, I noticed that he casually moved over to stand on the curb when talking to me. It did not dawn on me until afterwards that he did this. I think he is handsome and his height has never been an issue for me. I am surprised (actually a bit incredulous), however, at the short comments related to him that I have overheard in the front office from two secretaries and a (tall) male employee. I’m sure that if I have overheard comments re: his height from time to time then others must make comments that I have not heard. Are short men exposed to these types of comments regularly and how do they feel about it? Now, although my interest generally presents as stoic (due to his position, he has to), I have noticed a few occasions where he is looking at me in a way that makes me melt. He also talks to me vs. others when he has something personal he may be concerned about, etc. – e. g. he lets me into his personal life whereas he does not do that at all with anyone else at work (I also have his personal cell phone number whereas others only have his work number). My question is: although his height is not an issue for me (at all), could the fact that I am at least 4 inches taller be an issue for him??
As a short man barely taller than the guy you like I can say it is not uncommon for men in that range to hear degrading comments on any sort of regular basis. Comments like “he is half a man”, “he should have a genetic test to figure out what is wrong”, “no one would want a child like that”, “how could anyone treat a short guy like that like a man”, “women want to date a man, not a boy”, “he is compensating by being successful” are all rather common comments about short adult men. As for how to respond to such comments it is an incredibly narrow path to tread; a knifes edge. A response to harsh and he could be labeled as having “short man syndrome”, a response to tepid would just lead to more of the same mocking and belittling. It is really a terribly place to be in.
Height matters much more for women than it does for men. As a short man I have never cared about the height of any of my past girlfriends/partners. I doubt he would care if you are taller than him.
As a woman, I have a different take on this whole height issue.
Let me start by commenting on the comments.
“You’re tall enough she can rest ther head on your shoulder and you can throw her around during sex”
Why does she want you to throw her around? Sexual submissiveness as a fantasy sounds at best reasonable, but what you are describing reflects either self-esteem issues or psychological dissonance with reality. Women who want to be thrown around during sex … now that’s just weird even for rough sex.
“More attractive girls tend to be pickier about height, but then again, they’re pickier about everything”
What do they bring to your relationship? What do they contribute to society? What value do they add to the world? What entitles them to get all the privileges they seem to seek? Merely their beauty? And what happens when they get older and their beauty subsides … what reason do you have to stick with her then?
“I often wonder what’s more important in a mate because it seems that women place higher value on the practicality of their high heels. Short guys often don’t fit into the relationship equation with women because the shoes have the final say. ”
Yes, women want men to be taller, protect her, make her laugh, throw her around, etc.
In other words, she prioritizes the following over your personality – heels, what people will say about her and her husband seen together, free bodyguard, free comedian, BDSM master, etc.
Why do you men put up with this nonsense? Don’t you have more to offer than this? Dump these women and move on to the ones who deserve you.
Dating and relationships are not a one-way street. You choose the women as much as the women choose you.
Granted that women can have babies and you cannot. Besides that one limitation, you men can do everything else that women can. Don’t give away your power and your right to choose by letting only the women choose you.
“For every tall girl that politely rejects a shorter guy saying “thank you, but I’m involved with someone,” truth or lies be told, there’s ten other tall girls that will laugh in your face or humiliate you for even trying. Nothing shatters a short man’s confidence quicker than a tall chick with height issues who goes out of her way to make the shorter guy feel like absolute crap just because he asked her for a date.”
Why do you men put up with this crap?
You do all the hard work, with academics, and sports, and career, and asking women out!
Where’s men’s liberation? When are you going to stand up for yourself?
“Really, I think short guys have it much easier than ugly women. We can compensate with personality, confidence, money etc. very ugly girls can’t really.”
Not true. Every girl, ugly or not, can get a guy. Perhaps the ugly girl will not get a guy whom the media portrays as great, but she still gets a guy who loves her the way she is.
Of course, she needs to get off her ass and follow whatever it is she feels passionate about.
There’s no such thing as a perfect sweet innocent woman. The idea of feminine perfection is a myth. There is no such woman. Even your mom had sex to give birth to you. No offense implied here! You have to stop putting these women on a pedestal and stop expecting women to be fair in their selection of you .
“Taller women appear to desperately want a man taller than them so they can “feel” feminine.”
That only means that she is insecure about herself. If a woman needs a man to be taller, more masculine, etc, it means that she has low self-esteem and her entire feminine identity is relative to her man’s height and masculinity.
Hey Megan,
Thank you for taking the time to quote the quotes. Your take on this discussion is interesting and appreciated. Here’s my answer to you.
You ask us men why we put up with this crap? Simple answer. We put up with this crap because we have to, unless you want to be alone which I’ve politely accepted. WOMEN’S LIBERATION has flushed men’s feelings, desires, and status right down the crapper. Men aren’t really allowed to be men anymore without serious repercussions. In todays world, standing up for yourself and taking any slight action to defend yourself results in jail time, a job reprimand, court dates, custody battles, empty pockets, headaches and lots of frustration. A woman’s word holds a whole lot more weight than a man’s word today. If you’re a short guy like me who doesn’t take nonsense from anyone, male or female, you get branded with the short-man-syndrome disease that society deems perfectly acceptable to reference short men with ambition.
It’s so easy for you to say “dump” these women and move on to the next woman who deserves you. The next woman more often is just like the first, sometimes a little bit louder and a lot worse. In fact, there’s women who believe short men aren’t men and don’t deserve to be treated or respected as a man like those who have height. Forgive me, but I strongly believe modern women don’t want what they deserve until they actually lose what they had in the first place. How do you explain dumping someone or getting out of a relationship when so many women are the shallowest of the shallow, and don’t consider a short man for a relationship in the first place? All because he doesn’t measure up heightwise. Women covet what they see others women have, kinda like “The Silence of the Lambs.” They want the tall, good-looking trophy guy to show off to her friends who’s the furthest thing from a physical embarrassment to her by public opinion. You can’t deny that a large majority of young women base their feminity on the guy standing next to her. Sad to say but high heels still largely dictate whether a man is boyfiend, husband or father material.
Men’s Liberation doesn’t exist in this world and it never has. We’ve gone TOO POLITICALLY CORRECT as a society, closer to the point of no return. Unless you’re the typical tall, dark and handsome that practically all women desire there’s not much room for the shorter guy in todays world. Every once in a while a woman comes along who’s a reformed heightist or victim of bad relationships. These are the ladies who speak very loudly against what she thinks is the short guy “self pity.” She might even cry out that she likes short guys and is sick of taking the grief from short men who’ve been mistreated by other women. Either way, if your a man with tons of money, that gets you a free pass regardless of your height, as long as your income is consistent. There’s always the risk of the short guy being used and abused for that purpose alone. I don’t find it surprising that women keep the guy with the most money in her back pocket and cheat on him with the guy her heart desires. I’ve seen it happen in enough relationships as a third party friend and a victim. This somewhat correlates to the high divorce rate, but there’s always two sides to the story.
You mentioned sports and academics? Sorry to say that this does not apply and only matters to the man who takes the initiative to keep himself steadfast in atheletics and education without needing to impress women. A lot of women say they want a good, fit man, who’s smart, goal-orientated and has a strong sense of character. Women also say that sense of humour and good manners is important. Again, none of this matters if you don’t have the height to go with the rest of the package. Women don’t allow themselves to see past the physical and into the emotional side of a man unless he measures up to her height standards. One more thing, you are right by saying we men do the choosing too. What’s misunderstood is the choices we make get thrown back in our faces via harsh rejection and insults. For me it’s almost to the point where I don’t make choices in women anymore. I do choose to smile, be polite and courteous, well spoken and well read. Women can’t understand the nature this when they see my height first and nothing else.
So in conclusion, I’m still a good man that would love to meet a good woman who will see me for me and accept my height as ME. What I don’t do now is make a priority to include women in my life. Can’t escape them anyway LOL. Women’s Liberation has done enough to disclude me from theirs so I don’t go out of my way to be accomodating for them. Women of senior citizen age still have manners and are thankful and respectful when a kind man like me helps them out in their daily lives. I’ll still offer my seat on the subway to a pregnant woman without hesitation and help her up and down the stairs with her stroller. That’s just being proactive, having common sense and being a good man in general. Speaking of seniors, maybe when looks fade, old age approaches and women cease to base their lives on the standards of Hollywood living, I just might take the time as an old man and try to get to know a good old woman. When you reach the senior citizen age, looks don’t matter as much, but trust, happiness and companionship does.
I’m 5’4″ and 29 years old. And very torn on this issue. I have always been a pretty popular guy (blessed with lots of great family and friends) and very outspoken and consider myself an extrovert. This has allowed me to meet many attractive women and develop social skills that allow me to communicate well with them.
The reason I am torn. In highschool, I got asked by the hottest girl in school (whatever that means) to prom, in college I would “befriend” many very attractive girls. Even recently I had a very attractive recent college graduate calling me, texting and so on. Therefore I do not believe that you cannot meet very attractive women while being short. The problem is that is very easy for women in general to put short men like myself in the friend zone or even hookup but not want to date.
Now I look at it two ways and this is what drives me nutts. Is it me who lets this happen based on the fact that I am too shy to make a move because I think I am too short? Am I getting denied because they sense this lack of confidence or is it really just because I am too short?
It’s actually really sad because I have had a lot in common with these women and I do think at a certain level we have loved each other but it seems to fall apart either because of my deep self loathing for being short or sometimes because of being short.
I guess the “torn” part is that is sometimes the woman being superficial but also I must take some of the blame.
It really sucks because my relationship with my family is great, I am about to receive my MBA from a top school, I make good money at a great job, I have my health as does my family, and I have a large great group of friends. However, I do find myself very depressed because of the fact that I feel unlovable because of my height. Quite sad and pathetic but it is what it is.
Ask anyone who is short and they will tell you that it is not the greatest thing in the world. I do not think it has any effect on life except when it comes to women (and sports) but only because we (short me
I’m a 5’7 (170cm) young woman. Everyone in my family is tall and athletic. All the men are 6’2 about, the women are 5’6-5’9. I have never even thought about height. But it seems normal for me to date and marry a man who is 6’2, as this is what I grew up seeing with my male relatives. It is natural and expected. Also I would feel weird introducing a boyfriend who is like 5’5 to my family, it would be like a joke to them….
I left for college and met all these short guys (who werent even taller than me) it just felt awkward.
Short people come from short families. So they should want to continue their legacy with other short people.
So perhaps a reason taller women don’t want to date shorter men is because they grew up with tall fathers and brothers and they want to continue their family heritage.
Okay well I’ll chime in as a 5’10 woman who was involved with a guy who was 5’6 and is now dating one who is 5’8. I have frequently been attracted to a certain ‘type’ of guy–kinda stylish, fine facial features, often erroneously assumed to be gay due to their slightness and good fashion sense, and often these guys are shorter than me. I was incredibly attracted to the aforementioned 5’6 guy and it honestly never occurred to me that he would be so insecure about his height until he kept bringing it up, making jokes about how I should slouch more, not wear such tall shoes, not wanting to be photographed with me, etc. It actually made *me* insecure about being *taller* than average. But I was more physically attracted to him than probably anyone else I’ve ever been with…it was just a deep insecurity on his part that it, in turn, made me uncomfortable with my own body. I’m 6’1 in heels and I when I wear them, most guys are too intimidated to approach me. My body type may be fairly close to some model-ish ideal, but here’s a secret: tall women are often more insecure than women of average height because people admire them from a distance. The guy I’m dating now is mostly great but he still acts like he wishes I were a few inches shorter, and it makes me sad. It’s like he won’t believe that his height doesn’t matter at all to me and I think he’s adorable. Or maybe that’s the problem, he wants to be seen as masculine and if it came down to it, I could probably pin him But it seems like a stupid reason for a relationship to not work out, and to all you shorter guys out there reading this, it’s true that 5’10 blonde model types may be attracted to you. Please allow yourself to believe it and don’t constantly act like her height is a big deal.
The grass is always greener on the other side. I am 5’11″, but I have a fetish for girls taller than me. I’ve only once banged a girl who was taller than me. She was older by a decade, but because she was taller, i found her irresistible. The sex was sensational. My dick would get so hard, it would hurt. I thought that motherfucker would break. I so got off on her height that I ignored everything else. A few tall girls I dated, i tried to get them to wear 5′-6′ so she could tower over me while we went out. I also had sex with them while they were in heels. You are spot on when you say that a girl’s preference for a tall guy goes right out the window if you ooze with confidence. In my case it’s not confidence I ooze with as much as lust/horniness. When I see a girl taller than me, I literally cream my pants. My point is that I am so horny when I see a tall girl, that I am absolutely fearless. My horniness does not permit me to feel fear. It is so intense that it keeps me in the moment. Basically I am like the drunk guy full of liquid courage, except that I am full of semen in my arteries, metaphorically speaking. The only problem is there aren’t all that many girls taller than 5’11″. Sometimes I wish I were 5’2″ or something. That way I’d do so many girls who were taller than me and indulge my fetish to the max. I’ve done one taller girl and several who were taller with heels on. I have no doubt I’d get a lot of 5’4″ girls if I were 5’2″. The point of my comment is that grass is always greener on the other side. Who knows if I was really 5’2″, I’d probably be full of hard luck stories, while now I am bitching wanting to be shorter. You see?
Saying the “grass is greener on the other side” is a joke. There is no benefit to being a short adult man in the United States; respect, women, salary, etc
I’m 5′ 7″ and I’m getting killed on online dating sites. I’ve done some modeling (a gay “nude art” photographer) and am built like a short Hugh Jackman. I have a doctorate in English (which may actually be the dealbreaker) and I have money. I wear a Rolex. Also, I dress well. I wear tailor fit designer clothing. However, online dating is a bust. All the hot girls want guys who are seven to nine inches taller.
At bars, women smile at me and even approach WHEN I’M SEATED or standing at a distance, but when I’m standing near them, they don’t seem as interested. Here, in NYC, a woman who was 5′ 11″ walked past me today and gave me a look of disdain.
I feel like I could date pretty much any guy over 25 at my gym, but that’s because gay men care more about washboard abs and pecs than height.
In the past, women have been really into me (I look a lot like Tom Cruise), but they were all 5′ 4″ or shorter (some very hot), and when and where I grew up (Boston in the 70′s-90′s), nobody wore heels. Height wasn’t really much of an issue, until I moved to NYC, where women always wear heels. I think, as many posters have suggested, heels have a ton to do with it. Maybe it’s different in places like St Paul, Cleveland, and Atlanta, but in NYC women wear heels as often as they can. But there does seem to be an endless supply of guys who are over 6′ here.
Anyhow, my feeling is that online dating is pretty much impossible for short guys (I finally posted a photo of my Rolex and talked about money). I’ll just go sit at a bar or club and hope to charm a woman before I stand up.
I kind of think a lot has to do with attitude really. Shorter guys do have an advantage physique wise, in that it is probably easier to get an impressive body in the gym. Different cultures whose average height is not as tall probably are far less heightest which I have even notised around Asians and Indians to name a few. When a female overlooks a good looking 5”7 guy for an average or ugly 6” plus guy it does seem rather incongruent.
A lot of good points where made. My situation was different. I luck out and met a woman when I was young who didn’t have a problem with my height. I was rejected in highschool by a lot of short women but I didn’t know why at the time. It didn’t matter because I met my future wife my senior year in highschool who just happen to like men my height, she was 5ft 7in, about the same height as me. Let’s just say I was sheltered from all the shallownes that short men have to put up with. I had a wife and I never tried to cheat on her so I didn’t know my height was a MAJOR issue. At age 32 after 14 years of marraige, I got divorced. Now all of a sudden I’m on the dating scene, first time in years. Reality finally sat in for me, my height was a major issue for a lot of women. I was also finding out about these strange theories and myths people had about short men. It’s bad enough to deal with the height thing but when people assume derogatory crap about you that is off the wall, you can’t help but to stop and wonder. Theories like: you are just trying to over compensate for being short by being successful. I’m not allowed to be successful? There is a lot of hidden prejudice against short men. As much so if not more than being a minority group or being gay. No one stands up for you and says these myths are outragious and sick. People say it’s your confidence that maybe the problem but I have always been a confident person. “SonyJergans” made a lot of excellent points responding to “Meagan”. You can be confident, muscular, (I work out a lot), succesful and treat women good but if you don’t also have the height to go along with it, it doesn’t mean anything. What’s messed up is that’s the one thing I have no control over. I have some control over how successful I am, I have control over how muscular I am and my weight, I have control over how I dress and how I treat women but height is the one thing I can not change and people judge me on this. That’s not fair. Just like someone already said comparing height to weight is like comparing apple to oranges. Losing 10 pounds is a lot easier than growing yourself 10 inches. Because growing yourself taller is impossible. If someone could do it, that would be a major front page news story all over the world. After 6 years in that brutal dating sceene I’ve met a good woman who didn’t care about height but even she admitted when she was younger she would not have went for me because of my height and she’s only 5ft tall herself. Like someone already mentioned short women as whole tend to be the most shallow about height.
Hello Blue November!
Thanx for posting! First of all, are you for real? Seriously? Not that I’m having a hard time believing you, but there aren’t enough 5’10 women like you in this world. It’s equally depressing to suggest that more of you exist when in reality, your numbers are an extreme few. You are as rare as rare as rare as they come! What? A 5’10 woman who dated a 5’6 guy? What? A 5’10 woman who is now dating a 5’8 guy? WOW. Where have you been all my life.
Tall girls just don’t readily date shorter guys unless she is self confident and has absolutely no issues being the taller person of the two. Yes, I can believe there are tall ladies who are attracted to shorter guys and might have an actual preference for a shorter man. Again, the ratio of couples I’ve seen where the woman is more than two inches taller than the guy is maybe 1 for every 100 couples. Funny how you mention gay guys. I’ve worked with enough homosexuals to know that you are right. Most of them have a strong fashion sense and they do dress well. What I find interesting are the hords of women who are attracted to these gay men. I guess this explains why these women opt for the impossible challenge of turning a gay guy straight. Hooking up with the short heterosexual guy is a waste of time if the gay guy is tall and good looking LOL! Some hard core feminists believe it’s their innate right to date a tall guy regardless of his sexual orientation. Gay can be “fixed” according to them. Seems like a code for gay guys who want to have fun teasing straight women. Dress well, be fit and stay somewhat slim and slight for them to approach you! This doesn’t work for short guys hahaha.
One more thing BN, don’t ever slouch! Walk proudly with your man and do your best to reassure him that his height doesn’t matter to you. Maybe give him an ultimatum to stop obsessing about your height and the difference between the two of you. Like I said, it’s harder for a shorter guy to believe a taller woman has an honest appreciation for his looks and his short stature when society says directly and indirectly that he’s inferior to tall men.
This is most typical in Western culture, as the average height is somewhat taller. I think having a strong frame and feeling of self worth is an important attribute. I have always felt that being shorter means I have a better body and fashion sense more than makes up for any lack of height. Good grooming, fashion sense and physical condition are obviously traits appreciated by gay men and women of taste. I think it is only worth focusing on women who are worthy of you, instead of coming from a frame of having to qualify for a women.
I feel like the shortest guy everywhere I go and I’m 5’6″ i wish there was something i could wear that made me look taller at least but I haven’t found anything.
Drew
Wearing properly fitting clothes is very important. Truthfully 5’6″ is not that short, but many clothes manufacturers do not make clothes that fit that people that height or shorter. Especially dress clothes.
Try Express which has great fitting shirts for shorter men, especially dress shirts, long sleeve shirts and they have extra slim shirts if you are on the slim side. Wearing jeans/pants which fit properly is also important. American Eagle has nice shirts but also great jeans sizes at 28×28 and 26×28 if, once again, you happen to be on the slim side.
Okay, had to post here. I am/was considered a ‘hot girl’ (now in my 40s, but still get hit on by guys of all ages.) I am 5’6, so of average height. I exclusively dated tall guys until I left my 6’1 husband and fell for a 5’5 man. Turns out that sex is WAY better when all the parts line up, however you like to connect them. :) This guy changed my life — I prefer short men now and don’t hesitate to wear heels with them. Confident men like confident women. So… all you guys under 5’8 who think it’s dumb when women prefer taller men — you’re right! Now go out there and show them how good it can really be. )
Melissa, I’m glad you posted, and it seems like when short men get older we face less descrimination. I’m a short black man, 5ft 7in.
I posted something on January 2nd. Before I met my current relationship I briefly dated this woman who was 37, & 5ft 4in. She admitted when she was younger, she never would have dated me just like the one I am currently with who said the same thing. But she went further with it admitting she had several pre-conceived notions about short men. She actually thought all short men were smaller than average down there and she quickly found out after dating me that wasn’t true. But I was thinking you’re 37 years old and you just now finding this out? It became a major turn off even though sex was great. I guess she was a little too honest and it pissed me off. How can someone just assume that base on the man’s height and she told me a lot of her friends when she was younger thought and felt the same way. I’m thinking young women get together during their teen years at slumber parties and come up with all these crazy myths that don’t have any merit reality. She also admitted she never dated nice guys because she thought nice men didn’t believe in having fun and was uptighht about sex. Where do they get this crap from?
Lol…I am a 5′ 2 .5, a short guy…my suggestion to short guys like myself - Give bull shit about what other people think, don’t think about ur height, keep yourself fit and strong, be nice to ladies, cultivate some talents, make your career successful, be happy with who you are, love yourself and be passionate about life - tall or short girls will start following you (. Good Luck my friend!
Ahhhhh Melissa, yes indeed, the reformed heightist!
These are the girls who vehemently refuse short or shorter guys in their youthful days. When they reach 40 or older, they can’t afford to be so picky because their diminishing looks won’t allow them to compete with the younger girls for the good looking tall guys. Unless they have Jennifer Lopez money and can pay a boy toy to spend her money on dates for her. That’s ok for me because I believe women get better as they age. Most become smarter and less concerned about height and how a guy makes them look. This means short guys are fair game and good to go? Somewhat yes. While I don’t honestly avoid these type of ladies, I certainly don’t welcome them readily either. Why all of a sudden am I good enough for you now to date? I have no desire to show reformed heightist women how good a short guy can be when they wouldn’t even give me the time of day to begin with. It’s like they are forcing themselves to find something about me that turns them on, which I don’t want. At the same time it’s nice to meet a young woman who has the intelligence to understand that good men come in all heights and all sizes. Then again, most women are taught and trained from a very early age that short guys are inferior. This is the plight of a short guy until women smarten up. There’s a lot of foolish and absent minded women who treat short guys like we’re diseases until they realize the difficulties later on in life when trying to find a life long partner. I guess they can’t stand the thought of not being able to give their nasty cold to the man beside them. Some prefer to stay alone rather than settle. I worked with a 5’1 guy who dates these women like they are going out of style, some more than half a foot taller than him. No action from highschool or college but a boatload well into his adult years. They all want attention so it means hooking up with a short guy is better than hooking up with no guy at all.
You hit the nail on the head. Women generally consider short men to be third-rate, sub-human, disposable pieces of trash until they realize the average adult male height in the U. S. is not as tall as they were tricked into believing from movies and tv shows. At a certain age some women decide they have to lower their standards, no pun intended, then they are more willing to accept short men once they hear their own clock ticking. Of course there are many dollars which can explain why older women are more likely to go for shorter men, after all a short man could be worth it depending if his money makes him taller.
SonnyJ. & Michael
Hey can I say somthing? I know its a bit late but im 18 and about 5’5. Im pretty built and am mostly confident. I been with girls my height a bit shorter and some a little taller. To be honest they all felt safe with me. You know why? They new that even if i was short I was a strong, powerful, tough guy. What I learned is yes some girls make a big hype about height but majority really dont. Its confidence, its knowing who you are. Most of my friends are tall guys and out of all of them Im the toughest one, go figure. In the end you cant be hard on yourself, does it suck being 5’5, in a way yes, would I prefer to be taller, of course. However, I dont show that, I show that I dont care. I show that I know my own strength and weaknesses. If a girl doesnt like me for whatever reason, I pay her no mind. I act as if she was nothing more then something id find on a sidewalk. I never put them on a pedastool and load and behold, Im respected for it. I really agree with this article, confidence goes along way. Besides, though some girls like taller men, a lot just like men taller then them. So in essence when you think about it, its really not that bad. Theres somthing I learned in life, you need to be the dominant male. The alpha. No matter what your height, if you hold your own, if you show people you dont roll over and your confident none will fuck with you. There are millions of girls out there so whose to say everyone of them does not like you for your height? If you act confident and you accept both acceptation and rejection it gets you respect. Being short dosent mean you cant protect, it dosent mean your less of a guy, its your mind. Your mind and how you take care of yourself. I keep saying this but im telling you its confidence that really plays out in the end. Sure some girls wont like you but just as many that wont the same amount will.
I just want to let you guys know that I’m a tall woman. 6ft. My boyfriend is 5ft 6in. I have only dated one guy who was taller than me. I have never dated a guy that I could look directly in the eyes.
What I’m saying is, I do not go for tall guys. I also do not go for short guys. I go for guys I feel safe and comfortable with. I’m a taller than average woman in a relationship with a shorter than average guy and it’s the best relationship I’ve ever been in. In fact, I wish he would be secure enough to let me wear heels out. I hear all the time that guys like girls with confidence. It’s the same for girls.
Also, I’m seeing a lot of comments about female footwear here. I just want tot say that it’s not that women can’t wear heels because they’ll look too tall. It’s that woman don’t wear heels because their short dates are afraid of looking too short. It would be nice for short guys to make tall girls feel like they aren’t too tall. I spent a lot of my life feeling like I was too tall for all the guys I liked, not that all the guys I liked were too short for me. As most of the guys I liked happened to be shorter than me, I thought I wasn’t good enough for them. It really works both ways.
And something to keep in mind, guys can always bulk up. They can’t grow taller but they can get more muscle. They can always find a way to feel more masculine. A tall girl who is taught to be small and delicate by the media, cannot change her height. She can lose weight, but she will still be tall. She can never be just a girl. Ten strangers a day will feel the need to tell her that she’s not normal. She’s tall. When people ask me how the weather is up there I get the urge to spit on their face and tell them that it’s raining.
I want my boyfriend to let me wear heels out because I would know that he thinks I’m perfect for him whether I’m tall or not. It would make me feel like he’s proud to be seen with me in whatever I want to wear.
I’m a taller girl and people tell me im attractive and I have a guy about 2 1/2-3 inches shorter than me that is possibly the most fun guy in ever been with. I never thought I could like a guy shorter than me but 1 he’s built 2 he had the confidence to want to get with me(that’s mainly what makes me like him the most). That’s what I have to say
Hey Elle, I like your first response. Excellent!
“What I’m saying is, I do not go for tall guys. I also do not go for short guys. I go for guys I feel safe and comfortable with. I’m a taller than average woman in a relationship with a shorter than average guy and it’s the best relationship I’ve ever been in.”
So nice to hear the viewpoint of a very tall woman dating a much shorter man! Shucks, lucky guy musta beat me to you LOL. I must mention that despite you feeling safe and comfortable with your much shorter boyfriend, there’s still way too few tall ladies like yourself who will confidently date a shorter guy let alone be seen with a guy much shorter. The very issue of taller women feeling safe and protected is often compromised by unscientific beliefs people have against shorter men. We are seen as weak, inferior, unnatractive and unmasculine in many eyes. A man’s height is determinate by many women shorter and taller as a clear indicator of his protector capabilities. Next, I’m sure there are enough short guys who have heard this question and answer from taller woman many times over.
“How can he protect me if I’m bigger and taller than him?”
“There’s no way I can feel safe and protected with a shorter guy.”
Short guys endure this stuff on a regular basis from women who support serious claims that tall guys are more masculine and are better protectors. Elle, you are just one honest woman with an open heart and open mind in a world of closed hearts and superficialities. I appreciate and respect your post but you can’t deny it. How can a shorter guy make a taller woman feel like she’s not too tall? Wear lifts? Leg-lengthening surgery? Tall woman should wear flats? Unless you’re an actor filling a role or your job requires you to wear lifts, it wreaks of insecurity as far as I’m concerned. What happens when the short guys takes the lifts off and reveals he’s much shorter? Some short guys are going for that costly, dangerous, painful, surgery that entails breaking the leg bones, and stretching them out to form new bone. You’re left rehabbing in a wheelchair for 6 to 8 months on top of the extreme pain of daily physiotherapy. Add more pain to the equation when the pins at the point of fracture need to be treated and cleansed daily to avoid infection? Sorry, no thanks, not for me! No amount of pain is worth making yourself more attractive to the taller opposite sex based on Hollywood culture. Really, I don’t know how to make a taller woman feel like she’s not too tall. She should wear flats maybe? I think it starts by treating a taller woman the exact same way I would treat a shorter woman. Give her the immediate respect and the dignity of being treated like how any woman would want to be treated. Be polite, courteous, cordial and attentive to her. At the same time a man should have an independent voice and opinion that distinguishes him from other men. Both tall and short women hate wimps or guys that come accross as pushovers right?
Oh, about the high heels? All I can say to you is that your heels would never be a problem with me. In fact, I’d welcome them as part of your wardrobe and tell you to rock em’ any time you want when we go out. As long as there’s no pain involved when you walk, it’s fine by me. FYI, some women ruin their sexy feet and gorgeous toes by jamming them into the tiniest, pointiest heels just to look taller than everyone. That’s not attractive. One more thing. Don’t ever slouch. It’s perfectly OK for you to tell me that I can always bulk up and add muscle but it’s not always the right advice for some short guys. Working out is a very good thing but some men have a really hard time bulking up because of their metabolism. I think telling us short guys to keep our bodies fit and healthy without doing too much weights is better. I’ve been told by women that short guys bulking up is actually the wrong thing to do. Little guys with big muscles look disproportionate and are unnattractive.
To Matt Savage.
Being short myself, one should not lose hope. As I believe in reincarnation, I think things happen for a reason. Here are a couple of e - mails I sent to my Psychic and clairvoyant: -
I am still feeling positive. The only reason I have felt a bit down in the past is I compare myself to other people, due to my lack of height. I have always found it difficult to attract the opposite sex, and form relationships with other people because of it. I am hoping in my next life, I am of average height or taller. I will then be able to enjoy a whole new range of experiences, which I will never have in this lifetime.
I am sure that is all down to bad karma. I do not want to
make any mistakes in this life, so I come back in similar circumstances in my next life.
I feel I am on the right path with your help.
Like I mentioned in my last e-mail, I still want to be around a few more years, to see the big changes, that are going to happen soon, then I will see if I want to move on.
When I mentioned about moving on, in my last e-mail, it does not mean doing anything drastic, like taking my own life. I do not believe in suicide, hopefully with feeling good at the moment, I will never sink to a lower state of mind, and with you helping me, I want to keep my word, so I will not let you down.
What I meant was, when the time comes if I want to move, is to ask God in my prayers, if he will take me peacefully, when I am asleep, so I can start again in a new body. It is like when you get bored wearing the same clothes all the time, and you want to change into fresh clothing.
Sometimes the only way you can progress is to tear down the old and start anew.
Then again a miracle could happen in this lifetime, where I may not want to come back again as another human being, and I may want to move into a higher dimension instead. After all God has the last word.
Who knows, I could meet a woman, like you, that could make me feel complete, and values me for what I am.
So please do not lose hope, we are dealt with more than one hand of cards. That is why reincarnation explains away the unfairness, of having only one life.
Martin
0h wow. I am about 5’3 and very shy. I never really thought much about relationships because it’s not the priority for me (I’m 20). Sure it would be nice to have a girlfriend but I knew height would be a turn off for most girls. So I googled the subject and I can’t believe what I’m reading here. Jesus, 5’6-5’7 men in their 30-40s posting stories of terrible luck all because of height. WTF>? Is that what’s ahead of me? I’m freaking horrified now, how can I ever approach anyone knowing this? sub-human. freaks. Who says all that shit? I’m not in US but planning on coming there at some point, but oh mygod, I didn’t expect this. It can’t be that bad. People have always respected me. even assholes. So what if I’m not manly looking, I have boy-ish pretty face looks and it shows my true nature and that I’m a really soft and loving person… So what If I’m not into sports, I like art and culture. I appreaciate all the incredible things world has to offer. I still hope there is a girl who will accept me and I will not end up here in my 40s complaining how height has destroyed my life. But approaching. No way. i’m sensitive enough as it is, I dont need to be called these awful words. I don’t have any ‘game’ and don’t intend on ever going to clubs or trying to attract random ‘chicks’. So yeah..
Ronan, I’m curious what country you’re from. Here in the US height matters a great deal if you are male. You can make up for it a little bit by being buffed but that only helps depending on how short you are. If you’re close to 5ft 9in but buffed as hell, it can make up for it but the shorter you are the less it helps. Some countries 5ft 6in and shorter is the norm but not here. Here people do judge you by your height but only if you’re male. Short women are not judged negatively at all even real short like 4ft 8in. If you’re female in this country it’s perfectly fine being short, no one judges you but if you’re male there’s a problem. Below 5ft 10in you will start having problems, the shorter you are the more there’s a problem. What is so rediculous you will face the most dislike from short women. Imagine me being close to 5ft 8in but a female who is 9 inches shorter than me saying I’m too short for her. That’s what pissing me off.
Ummmm……..
I am a woman, 5’3. I have been told so many times I was too short to date by men. “I like you but you are really short, do you wear heels often?”. Like when? Around the house? If you only like me when I have heels on then you are shallow. I don’t want to date you anyway.
Tall women are brutal with us short women. You blame us for taking all the tall guys but most tall men I have met do not want to date short women. They wonder where all the tall women are.
Shorter men treat women so good. Sex is better when you are close in size. Having sex with a man who is more than 6 inches or taller makes it hard to kiss at the same time. Also he crushes me in some positions. Ugh.
I like the shorter guy I am dating right now. Bring on the short men.
@ James:
“Short women are not judged negatively at all even real short like 4ft 8in. If you’re female in this country it’s perfectly fine being short, no one judges you but if you’re male there’s a problem”
What? And you know this because you have been a short woman?
I am judged all the time. It is hard to get promoted. People (men and often tall women) see me as “young”. I have a hard time getting noticed in business unless I am wearing hooker heels. It feels awkward. People think it is all right to call me “munchkin” or “midget” because of the same attitude you have. I am a woman so being short doesn’t bother me.
Do you know how awful it is when you can’t reach the top of the shelves at a grocery store? I am always looking for something to stand on to get stuff off the top shelf. Why do tall people have to put everything up so high.
You are the first short woman I ever heard say anything like that. I find what you say hard to believe. I never heard of anyone having a problem with a woman that’s short unless she’s like 4ft 3in or something like that. I never heard of any dude having a problem with a woman that’s 5ft 3in. I have short sisters and I just asked all of them and they never had your problems. So is your post a prank or something.
I have been doing more research into the power of prayer.
Does it work? Yes and no, but not in the way you expect.
For example to attract a woman, if she prefers tall men:
If you are a short bloke, like myself, no amount of praying will make any difference, because you are trying to exercise your free will over hers, so no,
But it can influence your next life, by becoming tall in your next one, making such a thing a possibility, so yes.
It is the same with money, if karma dictates, that you are going to be poor in this life, you have just got to accept it, but you could come back in better circumstances next time, to make it more feasible.
Martin
Also @ Shorty McShort you said “Tall women are brutal with us short women. You blame us for taking all the tall guys but most tall men I have met do not want to date short women.”
Well aparently what the tall women are saying is true, most of you short ladies date tall men exclusively. That’s a known fact. If men are saying you’re too short, then apparently these men you trying to get with are real close to 7 feet tall.
The last part you said starting with “Shorter men….” I agree with you 100%
@Shorty McShort
Firstly thank you for admitting implicitly that you do not to date any short man, even though he may be 5 or so inches taller than you. While short women may face a lack of seriousness in the office place that is only one small part of discrimination that short men face. Short men face discrimination at every part of their life. I can guarantee you most men do not turn away women for being to short. You may be called names as a short woman but it does not carry the innate negativity as it does to a short man. As a short man I have had people tell me I am a sub-human, short men have been told to check themselves into a genetic screening to figure out what is wrong with them to screen them out from the world, I have been called half a man.
The negatives of being a short adult man, specifically in American society, is a true detriment to overall quality of life. If the only inconveniences were finding clothes to fit properly and being called names every now and then this would be a minimal issue. The fact that even short women at 4’11″, 5’0″ and 5’1″look at short men who are 5’4″, 5’5″ and casually toss them aside as unworthy garbage is telling to how society views us.
Personally I have found that women my height or slightly taller are slightly more accepting of short men. I think it may be because some taller women (above average height at around 5’6″, 5’7″) don’t have the need to be constantly reminded that they need to be a short woman to feel feminine and this allows them to be more comfortable with shorter men because they are already comfortable with who they are.
Being a short man, in American society, is bad regardless of race, economic status or educational level. You are treated as a lesser human being, you earn less money for no reason other than being short (at least the people acknowledges women get paid less and pass legislation to fix it, when short men bring it up people just laugh at it), you are regarded as a third rate choice as a romantic partner. There are almost no tangible positives to being a short adult man.
You are absolutely right about what you have just mentioned. I am 54 years of age and just under five seven [I may be starting to shrink!]. There are some things you have just got to accept in life. What you did not mention was how old you are. If you are young, say in your twenties and being short bothers you that much, have you considered leg-lengthening surgery? There is an article in the health column in The Mail on Sunday today about it. Who knows in time to come, they may be able to improve on treatment, where not as much pain is involved. Mostly height is genetic, etc if your parents are short or tall. But as I believe in reincarnation, I think we make choices before we come into the world, like choosing our parents and the circumstances we incarnate into. We have had thousands of bodies in the past, some good, some bad, and no doubt the same in the future. Even though very few people remember their past lives, there is a reason for this.
Have a look at Karma/Reincarnation.
God Bless.
Martin.
Martin
Being short likely doesn’t bother any male; it is the treatment from individuals that we all can’t stand. If women looked at me as a real human and not as a disposable entity that vaguely resembles a person then this would be much less of an issue. Being turned down for jobs, being seen as less intelligent, having women laugh in our face, etc.
Leg lengthening surgery is extremely expensive, I met with a surgeon who performs the surgery and overall it can cost over $100,000 in the U. S. even more if there are complications and insurance typically doesn’t cover cosmetic procedures. Not to mention during the lengthening process which takes two-to-three months you generally can’t work, then one is confined to a wheelchair for awhile during the healing process. That comes out to half a year of ones life and well over $100,000; All that for 2-to-4 inches of height, a few men who I have spoken with say it is well worth the cost. Now the operation is performed overseas for much less but people have to be very careful over which non-American Doctor they choose, some are legit and some are very poor.
You are absolutely right about what you have just mentioned. I am 54 years of age and just under five seven [I may be starting to shrink!]. There are some things you have just got to accept in life. What you did not mention was how old you are. If you are young, say in your twenties and being short bothers you that much, have you considered leg-lengthening surgery? There is an article in the health column in The Mail on Sunday today about it. Who knows in time to come, they may be able to improve on treatment, where not as much pain is involved. Mostly height is genetic, etc if your parents are short or tall. But as I believe in reincarnation, I think we make choices before we come into the world, like choosing our parents and the circumstances we incarnate into. We have had thousands of bodies in the past, some good, some bad, and no doubt the same in the future. Even though very few people remember their past lives, there is a reason for this.
God Bless.
Martin.
Like I mentioned in my last e-mail, they are making progress on things all the time. And who knows where money is concerned, miracles can happen like a windfall or inheritance. Just have faith and pray, and if it does not happen in this lifetime, it will in some future one. There is a reason for everything. God answers things in his own time.
Martin.
Leg-lengthening surgery?
C’mon Michael, it’s not that bad. You’re going to risk losing the ability to walk (or worse) for a few inches?
That’s absurd. I feel sorry for any guy that would consider that. Anyone considering such an extreme measure needs to talk to a shrink first. You’re being hyper-sensitive to your environment. You said yourself no guy cares about being short — it’s how people react to the shortness. If your confidence improves the shortness won’t seem as bad. Some of the most successful men in history are short.
I’m 5’4″ btw.
The risk is minimal and the person is only in a wheelchair for a few months. The surgery is done thousands of times a year over in China and there are minimal effects to it. Like Martin said the procedure, like all medicine, is constantly going through an evolving process.
Anyone who has leg lengthening surgery in the U. S. is required to get psychological evaluation and I did and I was approved. If you knew anything about leg lengthening surgery you would have known that fact, because you didn’t I will only defer to the professionals regarding it. Unless you are an orthopedic surgeon who performs limb lengthening or a psychologist who is responsible for performing the evaluations your opinion is irrelevant to me because they are not based on any knowledge of the procedure.
You’re right. I know nothing about it because the concept is preposterous to me.
Also, just so you know, a Psychologist is not a Medical Doctor. Some states don’t even require any formal education for psychologists. If you want a proper opinion you need to see a Psychiatrist (formal M. D. education).
If you work on your confidence you won’t have to spend so much money on such a dangerous operation.
From the first Google hit:
“Cosmetic Leg Lengthening procedures (also called Symmetric Extended Limb Lengthening) can not be compared with more simple plastic surgery options. They are very complex, painful, costly and require long recovery times from one half to one full year. People considering this procedure must be fully aware of the pain and discomfort associated with it and must be mentally prepared for the duration. Since anti-inflammatory pain medication can disrupt the creation of new bone, some doctors prescribe minimal pain management. Some medical centers require that the patient undergo a psychological evaluation to ensure they will be able to endure the recovery, with the necessary positive attitude.”
I cannot fathom that anybody would put themselves through something like that. To each his own, I guess.
“Also, just so you know, a Psychologist is not a Medical Doctor. Some states don’t even require any formal education for psychologists. If you want a proper opinion you need to see a Psychiatrist (formal M. D. education).”
So let me get this straight. I met with the M. D. who performs the procedure and I met with the only Psychologist who he accepts evaluations from and you are trying to tell me I need to see a Psychiatrist? What exactly is your educational background? Why would you think someone needs to see a Psychiatrist?
Sorry, but I will go with the Medical Doctor who has spent years doing the surgery over someone who who does a google search.
I really cannot understand this heightism nonesence, I have heard of body dysmorphia where people become overly obsessed with their muscles, this honestly takes it to new heights. There are many sports which favour smaller men such as horseriding and motor sports to name a few. You could even include gymnastics. Hollywood certainly has no shortage of leading men with a shorter stature. Heightism is a relatively new phenomina and it is mostly a western one. I am very sure if you did some research on it you could find advantages of being shorter. I am 5”7 and very happy with my height.
Michael,
I have to say this, but at this moment in time, you have only three choices: –
1. Accept yourself as you are.
2. Leg lengthening.
3. Reincarnation.
There is an old saying, there is no pain without gain, and everything comes at a price tag.
It is very unfortunate, but that is how society [especially the female variety] sets the criteria for the male race, where height is concerned. It has been like this for time immemorial and is unlikely to change in the future. Depending on how old and tall you are, you can only consider the first two options. The third one is through prayer, which I mentioned in my previous e-mails. The only other is to hope society changes its negative perspective of short people, and begins to accept them as equal, through prayer, which would be a miracle in itself.
But there again, people are so shallow these days, and only judge by outward appearances, and not see a person for what they really are.
At the end of the day, you are unique like myself, and if people do not like you, warts and all, well tough! Why try and change just to suit others? If you are a nice person, which is all that should really matter. That is what is going by my yardstick
Those are the kind of people you should seek out, and make you feel good about yourself.
Hope that may be of some comfort to you.
I do not understand why you are still going on about my choices when I know them very well and that is implicitly very clear from all my previous posts.
About 5 years ago I briefly dated (about 3 dates) this very shallow female that was just trying to get money out of me. I noticed people are now talking about that leg lengthing operation. Now this stupid female kept ragging on me about my height even though I was 4 inches taller than her. She actually said well it’s your fault you’re short saying I could have gotten that leg legthening operation. Saying I have no one but myself to blame. Now I’m a high ranking person in the military. How in the hell I’m going to get a cosmetic operation that will land me in a wheel chair for 6 months and recovering an additional 6 months on top of that. We are at war right now, that would be worse than getting caught shooting yourself in the foot to keep from getting deployed. I tried to explain this to her but she did not get it. If I did that operation I would be dishonorably discharge, and all those years I put in will be down the drain. No sweet retirement money, I would lose everything. It’s not like she’s going to pay for the operation and take care of me. So why would this stupid bitch say this, because she’s an extreme heightest with issues. Ox already mentioned the other issues I would deal with on top of that. Plus I’m too old for that operation anyway.
Fellas, fellas, FELLAS.
Leg lengthening surgery is risky, dangerous and it doesn’t guarantee a gain of more than two inches height increase. Doctors will always tell you it is NOT a dangerous procedure just to support their business and the money pool that is surgical medicine. They know it is. Don’t let them fool you. Some surgeons are in constant guinea pig mode and are eager to use their cutting tools on the operating room floor any chance they get. The recovery time for this surgery is a lot longer than what I’ve read here.
I recently saw a documentary about a Pakistani teenaged boy who stood 4’11. He went for the surgery and is now 5’1. He was wheelchair-ridden for about 8 months which is the average recovery time, 6 months minimum for most people. On top of the extreme pain of every little movement of daily life, add the extreme pain of physiotherapy and the required exercises, DAILY. Also, the lesions at the point of insertion where the bones were broken need cleaning to avoid infection on the hour EVERY hour. Then comes the risks later on in life years after surgery with respect to bone age and vasculature. Blood flow and bone health is extremely important for men and women. It’s more serious as we age because our bones become more brittle and blood levels decrease. I can’t fathom how any man would ever consider putting himself through this type of operation just to gain favour with women? Guys, don’t be fooled! A heightist woman cannot change her spots unless she has a new found open door personality towards meeting men and withholds final judgement on him until she’s fully interacted with him. You know the types. The kind of woman that actually takes the time and makes a concerted effort to know a man beyond the surface, rather than pissing on him if he’s a few inches below her prefered height. Few women change, if any at all. In most cases she will still find someone taller, replace you in a moments notice and render you too short despite the suffering of your surgery and minimal height increase. I would honestly rather stay single and make myself a better person with what God gave me than appease the desires to be taller by stupid, ignorant, shallow, superficial, arrogant, heightist women.
NO WOMAN IS WORTH THE PAIN THAT LEG-LENGTHENING SURGERY ENTAILS. PERIOD.
You are absolutely right about what you are saying. Why try and change, what cannot be changed, just to fit someone else’s criteria. We are all created unique, and have different strengths. Like you said, you are probably better off staying single and just stepping back to reflect on life. In doing so, you may find you can channel your energies in a different direction, etc through yoga, prayer and meditation, which is ideally suited to a single person.
So you see, everything has its compensations.
Hope that is of some comfort to you.
Sonny Jergens
Aman to everything you said. It’s not worh it for just 2 or 3 inches. Just to impress somebody who is shallow as hell. It’s not like other cosmetic surgery where the recovery time is less than two months and you are on pain meds the whole time. Also you’re not risking being handicap for the rest of your life if something goes wrong.
I’m currently dating a guy who is 4 inches shorter than me and it’s my first time with a shorter man. I’m not going to lie and say he didn’t have to work harder than other guys may have had to for my attention but I consider myself a very compassionate and open minded person.
While we were casually dating the height difference didn’t bother me, we were just hanging out and there was no public labeling, so it was pretty stress free, but when our relationship started to progress I found myself becoming increasingly concerned with the numbers.
I’m tall (5’8) for a girl and I’ve always been extremely self conscious about my height (never wearing heels, being happy about finding other tall girls to hang out with, etc.) until recently, so I still have lapses in judgment and get concerned with physical details sometimes, I’m a work in progress!
Anyway, we dated for about 10 months before I finally agreed to be his girlfriend and I could slap myself for waiting so long. He’s the most affectionate, attentive, loving partner I’ve had and I love him deeply; we have more in common than anyone I know and we often take the words from each other’s mouths and express the same random thoughts.
I feel comfortable going out with him, the whole ‘attractive girl needing to feel protected’ sentiment expressed earlier applies to me, so at first I was concerned with his height but he’s proven he can protect me and I feel safe around him even though I may be 6+ inches taller than him when I’m out in heels.
Like I said, I love him so much and he’s more than made up for any physical traits that may not be as desirable to me with his intangible qualities, but again, I’m still working on my own personal issues with height - not his but mine, so sometimes I do slip into a not so attractive mindset and daydream about how our wedding might be awkward or how our children may get his height and I’ll be the giant mom. I hate that I can be like that over something so insignificant.
But all in all, I’m happy to be with him. I smile more than I ever have and who cares if he has to look up a bit to see it?
Hey Britt,
Excuse me? You made this guy wait 10 months just so you could figure out your feelings, AND if he was good enough to be exclusive to you? Did it take 10 months of test dates in public exposure for you to swallow the namecalling, snickers and short guy/tall girl insults? Shame, shame, shame! Just kidding. Actually, no not really. More surprised and a bit disturbed that this guy waited that long for you. If you were the only girl I had my eye on and was dating you I would have never waited that long for you to decide if I’m qualified to be your boyfriend, quite honestly. He must think you are a really special girl and you just might be. Hope you don’t “know it” too much and it doesn’t get to your head if you know what I mean.
Good for you for wising up though. Now you just gotta grow up a little more, and rather quickly in the relationship if you want it to progress to something really special, IF he’s a genuinely good guy. There are assholes in the world tall and short alike. More importantly, I think you would want to do your best to minimize the damage control with each uncontrolling moment your “cavewoman” senses tell you the man you’re dating isn’t tall enough for you. Happiness matters first, remember. I’m actually surprised that you didn’t kick him to the curb knowing full well that he “had to work harder than other guys,” just to get your attention. We all know that women hate guys who try too hard. I guess he didn’t over do it pursuing you, or you might be a little less prejudiced than other women about measuring a man’s confidence by his height. Women do that all the time. Confidence has two different definitions measured by women in inches(and it’s not necessarily phallic LOL). One for short guys, one for tall guys. Short guys with a smidget of confidence and short guys with tons of confidence walk the same paper thin line that holds extremes on both sides. You’re either seen as a wimp or as Napoleanic. Nothing positive, just bad on both ends. Not quite the same for tall guys though. Isn’t it. In fact the more inches he has in height, the less confidence he really needs. Women will sacrifice confidence in a tall guy even if he’s an ugly bastard physically or the wussiest of wusses mentally. Doesn’t even matter if he’s the greatest combination of both wuss and ugly. It’s not uncommon for a woman to sacrifice the more important features such as man’s intelligence, ambition, fitness and character with each inch he presents in height.
The best thing you can do is be true to yourself and to him. Don’t break his heart by pretending to not be bothered about his height if you still are. The longer it goes with the uncertainties is the worst for the both of you. If him being shorter than you is still your problem but you know it’s something you can fix, FIX IT. There’s no time better than NOW. Shucks girlfriend, you’re already daydreaming about marrying the guy so get the cavewoman crap outta your head quick and keep it out. If you let it bother you, you just might lose out on the best thing to ever happen to you.
James and Martin,
Thank you for the compliments. I ain’t the short guy health and wellness height prophet LMAO! But thanx! Anything to help and alert other short brothers of the world to the discrimination and fourth class treatment that short men endure.
There are short guys in this world just like tall guys who have the so called game, skills, tactics, tools, vibes, whatever methods that bring success with women. Whatever the level, and it’s not always about gettin’ down and dirty. A guy once told me it’s all about separating the chicks who really need to talk to you and finding the chicks that need you as a good phuq buddy. The hope is that you settle down with one quality woman who makes you not want anymore “booty” call girls meanwhile giving you the best and deepest conversations. Women want and live for good casual sex just as much as guys do. They just don’t want to admit to wanting it as much and for having a physical preference heightwise in both casual sex mates and potential boyfriend/husband/father guys.
I always say the most fun girls are the ones who are straight up, know what they want, aren’t selfish and dare to be a little different. She’s not turned on by his height, she’s turned on by HIM.
All we can do is educate and orchestrate fairness and justice for everyone. I’m a short guy and a man like any man in this world who has worked, fought, protected and earned the title of being called a MAN. Same thing goes for a woman who has earned her title. I love, respect and cherish smart young girls who become powerful WOMEN and great leaders. I fear for those young girls who don’t grow up and continue making relationships based on one trait a guy either has or hasn’t. Some stay single, forever lonely, holding out hope that a tall, dark and handsome will ask her out and marry her so the short guys will leave her alone. Other just pass on their bigoted beliefs to their daughters and their best girlfriends’ daughters.
Height is something humans have no control over. So why people are so judgemental over height is beyond me. A good looking guy can immediately be considered unattractive if he does not meet certain height requirements. It seems like for a lot of women it doesn’t matter how short they are but their mate better be atleast 6foot. She says so what if I’m only 4ft 10in, my man better be at least 6foot. So the short dude can’t just fix the problem by only going for women that are real short because he still has to be 6 foot, no matter what. That’s what’s so confusing at first for a lot of young dudes that are short so they only hit on women that are much shorter than them thinking that resolves the height issue but the guy’s height is still an issue. So you can’t win. There isn’t a shortage of real short women out there, there are plenty of them, but if all of the real short women are only going for tall men, you are SOL.
Thanks Martin,
I’m older in my late 40′s and when I was young from what I remembered it wasn’t that big of a deal being 5ft 7in. as long as you had a muscular build but I noticed with what my sons and nephews have to put up with, being under 5ft 9in is now a big deal in a real negative way. Like you said Martin, kids are simply getting taller and if you’re male and only if you’re male you HAVE TO have at least one parent taller than average, so you have a good chance of being close to 6 foot. It’s almost a requirement now. My nephew actually said he wouldn’t want to have a kid with a short woman, two short parents would equal a male child that will become a short adult. He said he does not want his sons to go through the shit he has go through. Is this is what we are coming to? It’s so sad. Short women already have been doing this for decades. Now will short men start to stoop to the level of the short female, choosing their mate based on how tall they will make their offspring? Height discrimation toward males is real and a fact of life. You have to prepare your sons to deal with the discrimination, myths and in some cases down right hostility from ignorant people.
Interesting how society allows short women to freely discriminate against guys barely an inch or two taller than them. When I’m talking short women it’s the ladies 5’2 and under. Most people consider average height for women 5’3 – 5’6. Tall for a woman IMO is 5’7 to 5’11. The super tall ladies are the ones in excess of 6’0 barefoot. It’s not always true about the two short parents producing short children theory. It’s more common when the family history and relatives are short. A tall man/short woman couple can still produce short children. I’ve seen families like this. On the other hand I’ve seen familes where both parents under 5’6 produced children a couple inches taller than them. Still, a short guy has a much better chance of producing taller children by mating with a taller woman. The chances greatly improve if she’s several inches taller than him. The mother’s genes are said to be the strongest determining influence of the adult height of the children. I don’t blame some short guys who strictly date taller women. If these guys are like me who’ve got the shaft from short women in the past, you’re brain tells you not to limit yourself. I’ve always found taller women pretty and sexy to begin with and I never made my choices in women in order to fit into peer groups. Not every couple wears the same costume to the party.
When my height is used as the measuring stick of the content of my character, my level of intelligence or the depth of my manhood, it does piss me off. Not so much anymore because growing older means I have less time to worry about the simple minded ilk. There are amazing women in this world, tall and short who don’t judge men on height. Many of them just as beautiful as the ones with the attitudes and crazy beliefs against shorter guys. I love to share myself with these confident, brave, sexy women. Contrary to some guys, I don’t mind if a woman has a fetish for a certain type of body size, height, weight and overall look in a man. Whatever honestly floats your boat you should go with, but you shouldn’t just limit yourself to the physical. It’s abusive and unfair when the word “creep” is attached to fetish and applied to shorter guys who have the same sexually functioning demographics as tall men. I don’t really agree with the negative associations of the word itself but I do think people take it way out of context to hide dangerous practices that hurt others. Fetishes are and should be another way of comfortably expressing personal sexual behaviour and desire in another person as long as the pleasure is mutual. Everyone is different. People aren’t turned on by the same things. All the better to go after women with the most open and honest of hearts. The hope is that a person has one quality in their entire physique that makes you get curious and crazy about the rest of them. I always try to be open with everyone and allow myself to be stimulated by a persons mind besides the body.
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