Dating Etiquette 101: What To Expect On A First Date?
You have managed to land yourself on a first date. Congratulations!
Now that you have met someone you like, you’re probably worried, nervous and happy at the same time – thinking of every possible circumstance – how will the date unfold?
Well, DON’T . The key to a successful first date is to keep it simple and fun. Don’t put any pressure on yourself (or your date).
Remember, a perfect first date can be a potential turning point in your life.
My Top 6 Tips for Men (from a lady’s point of view )
1. Always plan your date and be organized
Make sure you make a reservation if you are going for a lunch or dinner date. It sends us girls a message that you’ve made an effort. Try not to go to the movies as this does not give you the opportunity to communicate and get to know each other better.
2. Be confident, assertive but not aggressive
We like a man who oozes confidence but nothing is worse than for your date to feel that you are being aggressive. If the place you have made a reservation messed up the time or did not even have you on the list, don’t fret! Be polite and suggest a different location (backup plan). This shows us your gentle and polite side. Don’t kick up a fuss and curse under your breath.
3. Keep the conversation light
Keep the conversation between you and your date light hearted. It is best not to touch on subjects such as previous relationships, one night stands, drunken nights, politics and religions. Remember – we’re talking about first dates here. You can always ask her about herself and the things that she enjoys doing. People love talking about themselves, but make sure the conversation goes two ways.
Be attentive and maintain eye contact. Also, try to keep the conversation going. Nothing is worse than a 5 to 10 minute period of awkward silence.
4. Do not order for your date
Granted, some of us girls are a little indecisive. If you ask your date, “What would you like to eat?” and she responds with, “Anything lah”, she doesn’t actually mean “Anything lah”. So never ever order on her behalf.
The best thing to do is to give suggestions and let her decide. If you haven’t been to the restaurant before, you can ask for recommendations from your waiter/waitress.
5. Men, pick up the tab!
As I have mentioned here. you are expected to pick up the tab. Even if your date insists on paying, don’t accept. Decline politely.
6. Leave an impression
With the date coming to an end, if you have played your cards right, you should be leaving her with a pretty good impression. Highlight what a wonderful time you’ve had with her and pay her a compliment (not useless flattery, please). We love hearing that!
It’s time to bid goodbye. Should you lean in for a peck on the cheek or give her a warm hug?
This all depends…
Check on the signals. What signs or body language is she giving you?
Hair flipping, hair twirling
Laughing at your jokes
Was she engaged throughout the date?
Leaning in and touching your hand or your arm
Lightly touching your thigh
Constant eye contact from her
Flirting with you
Teases you
If you feel that you are getting all the right signals and you would like a second date, you can always do the following.
You can lean in for a peck on her cheek; or
A warm hug; or
A big smile and genuine good bye speech might also seal the deal on a second date.
P. S. Would you go on a silent date ?
Time Spent
If you and your date don't hit it off right away, or if a pleasant date suddenly takes a turn for the worse, you may want to end it as quickly as possible. It's bad form to leave someone in the lurch, especially if you agreed to spend a certain amount of time together and have concrete plans, such as to have dinner and then visit a cafe for coffee and dessert. It's also rude to feign sickness or to arrange for a friend to call you in the middle of the date with an "emergency." If your date is being impolite or aggressive, you have the right to cut things off immediately; otherwise, tough it out and depart only after you've spent the allotted time or done the activities you agreed to. Avoid an awkward situation by planning a casual date in the first place: a cup of coffee, a quick lunch or something else that doesn't entail a big time commitment. You can always extend the date if it's going well.
Conversation
Don't attempt to drive your date away with hot-button topics like religion or politics if the date isn't going well. If you don't know your date well, it's not a good idea to bring up these topics on a good date, either, as awkward or overly heated conversation can turn a good date bad. Also avoid using foul language and being rude to waiters or other people nearby. Look for topics of mutual interest that can engage the two of you in pleasant conversation whether you are waiting to make a graceful exit or truly trying to get to know the person better.
Promptness
Few things reflect poor manners more than making your date wait for you or, worse, standing him up. Being late shows disrespect for your date's time and efforts, as well as inferring that you don't really care about the date. Always be on time for your date, and make plans to account for traffic and other variables to give you enough time to get there. Don't cancel at the last minute, and never just "not show up." There are more appropriate ways to indicate that you're not interested.
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Dating Rules - Picking the First Date Location
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1. Dating Rule: First Dates Should Be Affordable
2. Dating Rule: Find a Place With a Talkable Space
3. Dating Rule: Keep It Comfy
First date etiquette: the dos and don’ts
Etiquette (/??t? k?t/ or /??t? k?t/, French: [e. ti. k?t]) is a code of behavior that delineates expectations for social behaviour according to contemporary conventional norms within a society, social class, or group.
If you’ve been out of the dating game for some time the norms and social conventions may have changed a little so here’s a quick list of do’s and don’ts for first dates in 2013.
Be yourself: this is so important that it should be at the top of any guidance on dating. Although it may be tempting to embellish your life and personality to make it more attractive, unlike at a job interview the aim here isn’t just to get hired. You want to build an intimate connection with this person so any discrepancies will be revealed as they get to know you better.
Be on time: there was a time when it was thought that it would heighten expectation (particularly for a man) to be kept waiting for a date. Now that most people have mobile phones and can let a date know if they’re going to be unavoidably delayed, there really is no excuse.
Take money with you: it’s old fashioned to expect a man to pay for a woman’s meal and although he might offer, you should not assume that the man will pay.
Have something to talk about: it sounds obvious but one of the biggest fears people have about first dates is that the conversation will dry up. To avoid this happening re-read your dates profile and look for things you might want to know more about. People tend to be interested in people who are interested in them.
Be knowledgeable: There’s only so much personal information you may want to share at a first meeting so it’s good if you have some other topics of conversation to draw upon. Reading the papers or reviews of events coming up in your local area will help keep the conversation flowing.
Use body language to good effect: stand up when you greet your date, make eye contact and keep your body language open and receptive. Remember that 85% of what we communicate is non-verbal.
Have your mobile phone on the table: or even check it while you are on the date. Put it on silent or vibrate for the duration of the date and give the person in front of you your full attention.
Update your social media status: while you may have arranged to let a friend know how it is going, a quick text when you nip to the loo is very different from telling all your friends every intimate detail of your evening.
Talk about your ex: this is one of the fastest ways to put a new date off. A first date is about looking to the future rather than dwelling on the past.
Overshare: many people make the mistake of using a first date like a therapy session. Given a kind face and an attentive ear it’s easy to fall into the trap of offloading all your emotional baggage. Keep it light and remember you’re both meant to be having fun.
Wear anything uncomfortable: if you are comfortable in yourself you’re much more likely to be comfortable in someone else’s company. Look your best but don’t dress completely out of character – your date wants to meet the real you.
Above all else remember that a first date with someone you’ve met online is simply an introduction. It’s a chance to meet face to face and find out if you’d both like to go on a longer-lasting date.
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