Dating experiment

The Online Dating Experiment. Month 1 Interviews

So we decided to conduct a little experiment –one that would give several people 3-month online dating subscriptions and one that would give all of us an opportunity to see how the online dating process is different for everyone.

You responded, in droves, and blew us away. (No, really. We were shocked.) We then introduced the folks who were going to be participating.

And now it’s been one month since they began, and we’re checking in with them to see how things are going. All of them have had varying experiences thus far, so be sure to check out each one of their interviews!

And, in case you’ve missed it, check out our first in the Online Dating Experiment series, Lauren’s eHarmony Experiment. We’ll run her third month’s interview next Friday, so you can look for it then, too.

Are you presently a paying member of an online dating site? Can you relate to any of their experiences? Share your thoughts below!

4 Things I Learned from the Worst Online Dating Profile Ever

By Alli Reed January 04, 2014 4,419,289 Views

As a child of the Internet and confirmed weirdo, imagine my relief when they finally took that last bastion of in-person awkwardness -- dating -- to my laptop instead. I've been using one of the major dating sites, OkCupid, on and off for about five years now. While it has its perks, being a woman on a dating site means immersing yourself in a disgusting cesspool of exposed nerves, unfiltered testosterone, and daily propositions to engage in sex acts so horrifying, I hadn't even heard of them before, and I'm from the Internet .

I got the feeling that a lot of men on that site would message literally any woman who had a profile, but the optimist in me wanted to believe that there was a limit. Maybe there was a woman so awful, so toxic, so irredeemably unlikeable that no one would message her, or if they did, at least they would realize they never, ever wanted to meet her. So I made the OkCupid profile of the Worst Woman on Earth, hoping to prove that there exists an online dating profile so loathsome that no man would message it.

I did not accomplish my goal.

The Profile

In making this profile, I made sure my creation touched on every major facet of being truly horrible: mean, spoiled, lazy, racist, manipulative, and willfully ignorant, and I threw in a little gold digging just for funzies. I maintain that there is not a human on this planet who would read this profile and think, "Yes, I'd like to spend any amount of the fleeting time I'm given on my journey around the sun getting to know this person." This profile is my magnum opus; it will be engraved on my tombstone. Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair:

(My wonderful friend Rae agreed to let me use some of her Facebook photos for this profile. In addition to being a journalist, mother, and all-around A+ person, she's also a model. Only that last bit is relevant here, I guess.)

The Messages

I figured any profile with photos of a beautiful woman would get a few messages from men whose boners were willing to overlook her personality. The captions on her photos were just as draped in red flags as her profile was, so there's no way they were totally clueless as to how awful she is, but sure, I figured, maybe she'd get a couple of messages a day from people with especially low reading comprehension.

She got 150 messages in 24 hours.

OK, I thought, pouring myself a stiff drink as I prepared to sift through these messages from actual, living men with functioning central nervous systems. Maybe none of them read her profile, or maybe they thought that she was fun-crazy instead of actually-ruin-your-life crazy. I just had to convince them that she was the latter. My new goal was to get these men to stop messaging her back. I was going to make AaronCarterFan come across as so abhorrent that not even the kinds of dudes who comment on YouPorn videos would respond to her.

Want to guess how well that worked? I'll give you a hint: I'm confiscating everyone's penis until further notice.

Response Tactic #1: Be Unforgivably Awful

In trying to convince these men that they're better than this, my first strategy was to just say horrible shit. These messages are natural extensions of her profile, confirmation that you do not, I repeat, do not want to know this woman.

It was not as successful as I hoped it would be.

The Private Man

A Potential Online Dating Profile Photo Experiment

UPDATE – This photo is now the primary photo of my Plenty of Fish online dating profile (link in the blog post). Expect updates. This could get interesting.

I do not own that gun. This photo of me holding the assault rifle (FN-FAL) was the result of a visiting friend who brought over the fearsome firearm so as to show it to me. That was the first time I’ve ever held such a weapon and the big smile was the result of the sheer novelty.

Yes, I’ve fired guns in the past – on a gun range – but I am not an owner of such hardware. I would rather spend my money on other things. As well, I have little opinion about the politics surrounding firearms but I do understand the passion that both sides have regarding gun control legislation. My own enthusiasm will always be that of providing men and women with truthful advice about attraction and dating.

What some folks might notice – aside from the large assault rifle I’m clutching – is the ring on the fourth finger of my left hand, the traditional position for a wedding ring. The ring is the result of my trip to DragonCon last year where I helped a friend with her exhibitor booth as she sold jewelry and those ultra-cool stainless steel rings (photos at the end of this blog post). I helped with the ring sales by putting in words and numbers on the outside of the ring by using a hammer and punch. I felt like Thor but on a much smaller scale. I have lots of those rings now and I wear them on any particular finger when my mood suits me, I sometimes wear several rings at once (pea-cocking?).

That very spur-of-the-moment photo provides a very unique opportunity for an online dating profile experiment. I have a mostly inactive online dating account on Plenty of Fish (PoF). I’ve not done any recent online dating mostly because of events related to health and pavement. But the profile is still out there. Wow, I just made that profile public.

I have the option to make the gun photo my primary profile photo and see what the response will be. Should I do this, here are my predictions:

PoF receives complaints and my account is banned because, you know, assault rifle. Again, I’m not political about this issue but I’m curious how a photo with this type of weapon will be received.

PoF receives complaints and my account is banned because, you know, “wedding” ring.

Women respond favorably to the gun photo and their attraction for me goes way up yet they don’t notice the ring. Because, you know, assault rifle.

Women respond favorably to the gun photo and their attraction for me goes way up but they do notice the ring. Because, you know, “wedding” ring.

So, readers, what say you? Should I make the infamous gun and ring photo my primary online dating profile photo? Perhaps hilarity would ensue. Granted, I am a shockingly handsome fellow so the girlies will, of course, respond to that. I am just wondering how these “accessories” will impact my online dating experience.

This is me in my friend’s DragonCon exhibitor booth. I am definitely looking awesome in that fine kilt and sporran.

This is the ring set up where I pretended to be Thor. We sold a shitload of those things and I got to work out my aggressions. Danny would be proud.

[If you want to buy a ring, let me know. I can have any combination of words and letters punched on the outside of the ring. The number of characters is limited by the ring size and there is only one font. There are four different styles available. Contact me for more details. Seriously, these are cool rings and only $20 a pop plus shipping and handling.]

Online dating is the crucible of real attraction ‘twixt the sexes and it’s away from the prying eyes of political correctness. It is the behind the scenes action that reveals the true motivations of men and women alike. Read online dating profiles and be informed.

P. S. – Don’t forget to donate. Thanks!