Dating dr mcdreamy

Derek Shepherd

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Storylines [ edit ]

Derek arrives at Seattle Grace Hospital as the new Head of Neurosurgery from New York City. He is a Bowdoin College graduate and attended Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons. Derek was a student of the Chief Webber and was asked to come with an "offer he couldn’t refuse" – the position of Chief of Surgery. The day before he reports to work, he has a one night stand with Meredith Grey (Ellen Pompeo ), whom he meets in a bar, and discovers she is a new surgical intern at the hospital where he works. Although she initially rejects his advances, Meredith eventually agrees to date Derek. His personality and good looks earn him the nickname "McDreamy" among Meredith and her friends. Derek's estranged wife Addison Montgomery (Kate Walsh ) arrives in Seattle, making it clear that she wants to give their marriage another try (after being caught with Derek's best friend Mark Sloan (Eric Dane ). Derek struggles over the decision but eventually returns to Addison. However, Derek confesses he had fallen in love with Meredith to Addison and becomes jealous when Meredith begins to date again. At the hospital prom Derek and Meredith sleep together with Derek confessing his love to Meredith the next day.

Derek later fights for Meredith against Finn and wins. He feels guilty for ending it with Addison, but is angry when she seeks solace with Mark. Addison leaves Seattle to work in a private hospital in LA (ABC's Private Practice ). After an accident at the scene of a ferry crash, Derek saves Meredith from drowning and she becomes depressed causing a growing disconnection between them. He meets a mysterious woman who, unbeknownst to Derek, is Meredith's half sister, Lexie (Chyler Leigh ), who is a new intern. He was given the chance by Richard Webber to become the next chief but declines.

Derek begins to push Meredith to make a greater commitment to their relationship than she feels able to, and the pair break up yet again. Meredith decides that she wants Derek to date only her, but finds out from George that Derek kissed a scrub nurse, Rose (Lauren Stamile ). Derek begins dating Rose and Meredith initiates a neurosurgical clinical trial on patients with malignant gliomas. enlisting Derek as a consulting neurosurgeon. Meredith and Derek grow discouraged as their clinical trial fails repeatedly, but the final patient they treat survives, which leads them to rekindling their relationship.

Derek moves in with Meredith while their "dream house" is being built on his land. Derek's mother, Carolyn, meets Meredith for the first time, ultimately approving of Meredith, and tells Derek that Meredith does not see things in black and white and that he needs that in his life. She gives Derek her wedding ring to give to Meredith. Derek falls into a serious depression and refuses to go to work after losing a pregnant patient and being hit by a malpractice lawsuit. When Meredith meets him later on, she reveals she knows about the ring and he bats it into the woods and yells at her. [ 2 ] When Izzie Stevens (Katherine Heigl ) is diagnosed with stage four metastatic melanoma. Meredith convinces Derek to operate on her as he is 'one of about 20 people in the world who can save her. [ 3 ] He successfully performs the surgery, and proposes to Meredith in the hospital elevator. Izzie begins to plan the perfect wedding but when, on their wedding day, Derek discovers that Izzie has a second brain tumor. Meredith and Derek let her and Alex Karev (Justin Chambers ) marry instead. Derek and Meredith marry by writing their wedding vows on a post-it note .

Derek is offered the job of Chief of Surgery for the second time after the board wants to oust Dr. Webber. Derek, being faithful as a friend to Richard, wants them to consider keeping him somehow. During the merge of Seattle Grace with Mercy West, Richard and Derek do not agree with how the situation is being handled, and their relationship begins to sour. Derek learns from Meredith that the Chief has since resumed drinking and feels forced to have Chief Webber removed as Chief of Surgery. Having mixed feelings about Richard, Derek offers him two options: go into rehab and possibly pick up where he left off after or quit. He goes on to become interim Chief of Surgery/ After Richard recovers Derek gives Richard a job as a Senior Attending Physician while waiting for the board to decide on having Richard return to being Chief. Later, Derek is severely shot by Gary Clark (Michael O'Neill ), the husband of a former patient, and is saved by Cristina Yang (Sandra Oh ) who performed the surgery.

Derek quits being Chief when he recovers and learns about the miscarriage Meredith experienced during the shooting, and they decide to keep trying. Derek bonds with Cristina, as she operated on him with a gun to her head, by taking care of her and taking her fishing. Derek initiates a clinical trial hoping to cure Alzheimer's in fear of Meredith getting the disease. While working with Derek on the trial, Meredith tampers the trial by giving Richard Webber's wife, Adele, the drug they are testing and not receive the placebo. Derek and Meredith finally marry for real and think about adopting a baby girl from Malawi named Zola. When Derek finds out what Meredith did, he gets furious and is unsure whether he should raise a child with Meredith.

Zola is taken away from Meredith after the social worker finds out she isn't living with Derek. Derek became distrustful of Meredith in the OR so they agree that Meredith wouldn't work in neuro anymore. The social worker comes back and announces they are the official parents of Zola. As Meredith is near the end of her fifth year of residency. she and Derek are torn between staying at Seattle Grace or leaving for Boston where Derek would work at Harvard while Meredith would be at The Brigham Women's Hospital. Derek, Meredith, Lexie, Cristina, Mark and Arizona Robbins (Jessica Capshaw ) are subsequently victims of a plane crash. Though he survives it, his left hand is mangled.

Following their rescue Derek learns that he may only regain eighty percent of his hand's function. He easily accepts it, thankful to be alive and considers being a teacher. When Callie Torres (Sara Ramirez ) tells him a more risky surgery could give him back full function of his hand or reduce its function if it goes wrong, Derek agrees to the surgery and his hand recovers well and Torres clears him to return to work but it is only weeks later that Derek feels he is ready to operate. Derek, Callie and Jackson decide to do nerve transplant for his hand. Meredith, newly pregnant, goes behind his back and calls his sisters so they can donate a nerve to him and Lizzie (Neve Campbell ), Derek's younger sister, agrees to donate a nerve and the surgery is a success. The doctors of the plane crash including him receive $15 million of compensation and the hospital goes bankrupt. Derek, Arizona, Meredith, Callie and Cristina, with the help of the Harper-Avery Foundation buy the hospital and becomes part of the board. In the midst of a storm Meredith goes into labor having their first biological child, a baby boy named Bailey.

After the birth of Bailey, Derek and Meredith take some time off before eagerly returning to work. Derek and Meredith struggle with being parents, full-time surgeons and board members so Derek agrees to performing less surgery to spend more time with the kids. This allows Meredith to succeed in her second year as an attending and make a name for herself. He continues his research on brain mapping and it catches the eye of the President of the United States and Derek receives a personal phone call from the President himself.

Development [ edit ]

Casting and creation [ edit ]

When Patrick Dempsey auditioned for the role of Derek, he was afraid that he was not going to get the part. Show creator Shonda Rhimes' first reaction was: "The very first time I met him, I was absolutely sure that he was my guy. Reading the lines of Derek Shepherd, Patrick had a vulnerable charm that I just fell for. And he had amazing chemistry with Ellen Pompeo." Rhimes admitted that Dempsey's dyslexia threw her at first, particularly at the first few table readings. "I did not know about Patrick's dyslexia in the beginning. I actually thought that he didn't like the scripts from the way he approached the readings. When I found out, I completely understood his hesitation. Now that we all know, if he is struggling with a word, the other actors are quick to step up and help him out. Everyone is very respectful." [ citation needed ] Isaiah Washington also auditioned for the part and when he did not get it, he said his reaction was like "I'd been kicked in the stomach by 14 mules." Washington was, however, later cast as Preston Burke. [ 4 ] Rob Lowe was also considered to portray Shepherd but turned the role down. [ 5 ]

Rhimes describes Derek as typical "Prince Charming ". He was planned to be a doctor who doesn't really care about anything, who lives in his "own" universe and has a big sex appeal. A man who is charming, devilishly handsome and the type of guy every girl dreams of, and a man that often makes the wrong decisions, and is often known as a jerk or the ultimate heartbreaker. Rhimes planned to have this kind of character from the beginning, because he was the kind of guy whom girls fall in love with and a character whose storylines could easily be changed. [ citation needed ]

Reception [ edit ]

With the show concluding its second season. Robert Bianco of USA Today said that Emmy voters could consider him because of the "seemingly effortless way he humanizes Derek's 'dreamy' appeal with ego and vanity". [ 6 ] In the third season. Alan Sepinwall of The Star-Ledger wrote that "the attempt to give the moral high ground back to McDreamy was bad. Dude, whatever happened in New York ceased to count in any kind of grievance tally once you agreed to take Addison back and give things another guy. You're the dick who cheated on her, you're the one who knew that she found the panties, and still you act like her getting back together with Mark justifies what you did? Wow. I didn't think it was possible for me to dislike anyone on this show more than Meredith, but congratulations, big guy." [ 7 ]

Debbie Chang of BuddyTV noted the character's immaturity in the fourth season. saying: "The only character who did not make me love him was Derek Shepherd (Patrick Dempsey). How this character is still Shonda's golden child is beyond me. Yes, we get it. He's tormented by his love for Meredith, but that does not give him the right to lash out at her when his clinical trial patients are dying. If things don't go absolutely the way he wants them to, then he refuses to cooperate. How immature can this man possibly be? No amount of heavily styled hair or blue-blue-blue eyes is going to make me warm up to him unless he admits to being the needy, desperate one in the relationship." [ 8 ]

Entertainment Weekly placed Shepherd in its list of the "30 Great TV Doctors and Nurses". [ 9 ] The character was also listed in Wetpaint 's "10 Hottest Male Doctors on TV" and in BuzzFeed 's "16 Hottest Doctors On Television". [ 10 ] [ 11 ] His relationship with Meredith was included in TV Guide ' s list of "The Best TV Couples of All Time". [ 12 ]

Victor Balta of Today listed Shepherd and Sloan's friendship in its "TV's best bromances ". He called them "the most exciting couple on Grey’s, " explaining "they’ve demonstrated an easy chemistry that makes for some of the great comic relief around Seattle Grace Hospital with their banter, sage wisdom on each other’s lives, and locker room-style teasing." [ 13 ] Their bromance was furthermore included in lists by About. com. BuddyTV. Cosmopolitan . Wetpaint. [ 14 ] [ 15 ] [ 16 ] [ 17 ] However, following the announcement of Dane's upcoming departure from the show, Mark Perigard of the Boston Herald felt he and Derek "never clicked like you’d expect friends would. Any scene they had together ranged from uncomfortable to forced." [ 18 ]

References [ edit ]

External links [ edit ]

Contents

Early life [ edit ]

Dempsey was born in Lewiston. Maine. and grew up in Buckfield, Maine. His mother, Amanda (nee Casson), [ 3 ] [ 4 ] was a school secretary, and his father, William, was an insurance salesman. [ 5 ] [ 6 ] [ 7 ] He attended Buckfield High School and St. Dominic Regional High School. [ 8 ] He was an adept juggler. tying for second in a national juggling competition. [ 9 ] He was also an accomplished skier and while in high school won the Maine state slalom championship.

Dempsey was diagnosed with dyslexia at age twelve. He told Barbara Walters on her 2008 Oscar special that he thinks dyslexia made him what he is today. "It's given me a perspective of—you have to keep working," Dempsey told Walters. "I have never given up." [ 10 ]

Acting career [ edit ]

Early career [ edit ]

Dempsey was discovered by an invitation to audition for a role in the stage production of Torch Song Trilogy . His audition was successful, and he spent the following four months touring with the company in Philadelphia. He followed this with another tour, Brighton Beach Memoirs . in the lead role, which was directed by Gene Saks. Dempsey has also made notable appearances in the stage productions of On Golden Pond . with the Maine Acting Company, and as Timmy (the Martin Sheen role) in a 1990 Off-Broadway revival of The Subject Was Roses co-starring with John Mahoney and Dana Ivey at the Roundabout Theatre in New York.

Dempsey's first major feature film role was at age 21 with Beverly D'Angelo in the movie In The Mood . the true World War II story about Ellsworth Wisecarver whose relationships with older married women created a national uproar. This was followed by the teen comedy Can't Buy Me Love in 1987 with actress Amanda Peterson and Some Girls with Jennifer Connelly in 1988. This film was a flop. In 1989, Dempsey had the lead role in the films Loverboy with actress Kirstie Alley and Happy Together with actress Helen Slater .

1990s and 2000s [ edit ]

Dempsey made a number of featured appearances in television in the 1990s; he was cast several times in pilots that were not picked up for a full season, including lead roles in the TV versions of the films The Player and About A Boy . However he received good reviews [ 11 ] as he portrayed real-life mob boss. Meyer Lansky in 1991, when Mobsters was put on the screen. His first major television role was a recurring role as Will's closeted sportscaster boyfriend on Will & Grace . He went on to play the role of Aaron Brooks, Lily & Judy's psychologically unbalanced brother, on Once & Again . Dempsey received an Emmy [ 12 ] nomination in 2001 as Outstanding Guest Actor in a Drama Series for the role of Aaron. In 1993, he played a young John F. Kennedy in the 2-part TV mini-series JFK: Reckless Youth . In 2000, he also had a role as Detective Kincaid in Scream 3 .

Dempsey had a high-profile role as the fiance of Reese Witherspoon 's character in Sweet Home Alabama . In 2004, he co-starred in the highly acclaimed HBO production Iron Jawed Angels . opposite Hilary Swank and Anjelica Huston. He also appeared as special guest star in The Practice for its 3-episode finale season (8x13-8x15), as a married man who murdered his lover.

In 2007, Dempsey starred in the Disney film Enchanted . and the Paramount Pictures film Freedom Writers where he reunited with his Iron Jawed Angels co-star Hilary Swank. He also voiced the character Kenai in Brother Bear 2 . Dempsey's most recent roles include the 2008 film Made of Honor as Tom and the 2010s romantic comedy Valentine's Day ; the latter film, directed by Garry Marshall. follows five interconnecting stories about Los Angelinos anticipating (or in some cases dreading) the holiday of love. [ 13 ]

Universal Pictures acquired the rights to the prize-winning novel The Art of Racing in the Rain in July 2009, for Dempsey to star in. [ 14 ] The project has not been able to find a director. [ 15 ] Dempsey starred as Dylan Gould in the 2011 movie Transformers: Dark of the Moon . [ 16 ] [ 17 ]

On November 1, 2012, Deadline. com reported that Dempsey is set to star in the romantic comedy Wonderful Tonight playing opposite Amanda Seyfried. [ 18 ]

Grey's Anatomy [ edit ]

Dempsey has received significant public attention for his ongoing role as Dr. Derek Shepherd in the drama Grey's Anatomy . Prior to landing the role of Derek Shepherd, Dempsey auditioned for the role of Dr. Gregory House on another medical show, House . Initially a midseason replacement, the show was well received and has become a highly rated program. Dempsey's character, Derek Shepherd is often referred to as "McDreamy" and has received press attention for his sex appeal. and his chemistry with Grey's Anatomy co-star Ellen Pompeo was well received by fans and critics. Dempsey also appeared in two episodes of the Grey's spinoff Private Practice . playing the same character as in Grey's Anatomy . [ 19 ]

Dempsey was nominated for Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series–Drama at the 2006 Golden Globes for the role. His success on the show has led to his becoming a spokesman for Mazda and State Farm Insurance. [ 20 ] [ 21 ] BuddyTV ranked him #1 on its list of "TV's Sexiest Men of 2011". [ 22 ]

Promotional work [ edit ]

He has been the face of L'Oreal and Versace and was featured in ads for Serengeti sunglasses. In November 2008 he launched an Avon fragrance named Unscripted, and due to its success, a second fragrance named Patrick Dempsey 2 was launched in October 2009. [ dated info ] On September 29, 2012, Mexican cable company Cablemas. Megacable and Mexico city's Cablevision launched an advertising campaign featuring Patrick Dempsey as the love interest of a domestic worker who comes across his profile on an online dating site. [ 23 ] Starting 2013, Patrick Dempsey is the face of Silhouette, promoting eyewear fashion from Austria. [ 24 ]

Toxic Men: Our Greatest Teachers

Some of life’s greatest lessons are born from our biggest nightmares. Toxic men can provide just that nightmarish opportunity. C’mon, just think about the word “Toxic.” It conjures up images of nuclear waste sites and Julia Roberts in the award winning movie, ‘Erin Brockovich’. She plays a smart single mom who, against all odds, proves that toxic waste is seeping into a town’s water system and killing its inhabitants.

Toxic men operate in a similar fashion. They seep into the crevices of our lives, not necessarily killing us physically but definitely doing their fair share of emotional damage. If we’re smart and can re-frame our past experiences with these “types” we can learn some crucial lessons as opposed to just feeling victimized. Best of all, if we’re really conscious about the past, we can use those lessons to make better choices in the future.

When a toxic man has penetrated your world you should be able to identify his type in the future and keep him far away. But, realistically, it might take being involved with several toxic men before you recognize them and their wicked ways. Old patterns and misguided attractions die hard.

Stephanie Meyers, author of the current best selling romance novel, Twilight . has created a fascinating toxic lover. Her heroine is a young woman, Bella, who is passionately in love with a vampire, Edward. Edward is smart, dashing, romantic, every woman’s dream except for one terrifying truth. Loving Edward means you are at constant risk of being killed by him. The romantic tension is Bella’s internal debate about whether being with her “true love” is worth not only her life but her soul.

Real life vampires can be more subtle than actual vampires. They don’t have fangs or capes and they don’t sleep in coffins. In fact, their first calling card is subtlety and that can make them difficult to spot until some damage has already been done. Very few of us have been asked out by a guy who says “Hi. I’m a Vampire and if you love me there is a almost a 100 percent chance I will suck the life out of you.” Usually, they are insidious—like a slow creeping fungus that covers your world before you even realize it. Armed with the right information your past can be your garlic necklace. It can make you so smart that you’ll be impervious to toxicity whether it shows up in the form of a vampire or just a guy at the office.

Here are a couple of scenarios to help you turn the damaging effects of any toxic man into fodder for learning and growth:

Self-Awareness

Maria, a young real estate executive, had been dating Charlie, an emotionally withholding mortgage banker, for three years. They met at work. Maria knew that Charlie had had a string of failed relationships. But she was different. It would work with her because they were in love.

After a short passionate courtship, Charlie made her crazy. He had too many nights with the boys, a weekly family brunch she felt excluded from, and daily distractions. The bottom line is that Maria always felt last on his list. Maria tried to elicit the care and love she so desperately wanted emotionally, financially, and spiritually. She spent hours of her week wondering why Charlie wasn’t adoring her, why he wasn’t responding to her in the way she’d hoped. Maria always forgave his slights and made excuses for her hurt feelings.

The pain of this relationship brought Maria to therapy. When Maria stepped back she realized that for her whole life she had been parenting her parents. Charlie was just like her parents—he wasn’t interested in giving, he just wanted to take. She made excuses for her parents’ preoccupation with their own lives and was willing to be last on yet another person’s list. Charlie did love her but was not available for what Maria needed and deserved. This is the great gift of toxic men. They shine a light on childhood or interpersonal wounds that we often replay in our adult relationships in hopes of healing the past.

Charlie wasn’t going to change and Maria realized nothing she did would make him into the partner she wanted. When she said goodbye to him she thanked him for the wisdom to make a better choice and for the experience of healing a childhood wound which she did not want to be the main attraction of her future relationships. Her awareness helped forge her sense of worthiness.

Missy had been drawn to Peter since the day she saw him in his tux at the high school prom. Ten years later, when he showed up at the hospital she worked at, she knew this was her “Grey’s Anatomy” moment. Her McDreamy had arrived.

They had a fun courtship filled with shy smiles across the fluorescent-lit hospital halls, stale cafeteria coffee, and bad donuts. It came to a climax when he proposed on the rooftop helicopter landing pad, at midnight under a full moon, both of them in their scrubs. It was a definite “yes!”

Missy felt like the luckiest woman in the world. But soon that all changed. She started to feel insecure. Her new husband started to put her down at staff meetings and belittle her efforts to improve hospital administration.

It was a complete replay of the life she had so desperately wanted to leave behind — a childhood in which she just didn’t feel like she measured up. She spent her entire youth trying to make her father feel like a hero and her mother believe she was perfect.

After a respected doctor friend intervened and mentioned Missy’s growing insecurities at work and in her friendships, she had the courage to say enough. Peter was not willing to work on the marriage, he blamed Missy for all of their issues, and Missy said goodbye.

Her toxic man showed her that she was worthy of more than the script her parents (or anyone else from her past) had written for her. After therapy and healing her old wounds, she was able to thank Peter for helping her grow into an accomplished doctor and into being a wife to a man that believed she was star — her second husband.

Melody Beattie, in her groundbreaking book Codependent No More . eloquently details the fine line between love and reason. She believes that love can trigger deep childhood insecurities, which manifest by causing a person to become “emotionally stuck.” But the people who show us these areas of vulnerability can be our greatest teachers.

If you have the self awareness and the courage to reflect back on the toxic men in your life and the childhood desires and fears they awakened in you, you can make yourself a more viable, healthy, and exciting partner for your future. The toxic man in your life can be the person who rewrites you into a romance novel…not a horror movie.

Author’s Note . This article was originally written to appear on eHarmony’s Divorced Mom’s Guide to Dating website. As such, it focuses on women and the affect toxic men may have on them. The authors are aware that there are both toxic men and women and that much of the advice in this article could be applied to either gender.

Learn how to NEVER date another version of your ex now and read on for similar articles in our Divorced Mom’s Guide to Dating microsite!

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