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*2012 U. S. survey conducted for eHarmony by Harris Interactive® online, very few will be compatible with you specifically, and it can be difficult to determine the level of compatibility of a potential partner through methods of conventional dating services – browsing classified ads, online personals, or viewing profile photos. Our Compatibility Matching System does the work for you by narrowing the field from thousands of single prospects to match you with a select group of compatible matches with whom you can build a quality relationship.
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Dating Older Guys: Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Them, And Weren't At All Afraid To Ask
One of the most frequent Just Wondering questions we get here at Rookie is some variation on the following: “I’m a teenager and I’m thinking about dating/am intensely attracted to a person who’s significantly older than me. THOUGHTS?”
Well, as someone who not only has always been interested in older dudes, but has also dated quite a few of them, I have some things to say about your situation, question-askers. When I was 15, I was dating a 28-year-old (cue gasping). Looking back at that relationship now, seven years later, there are so many things I wish someone had told me before I decided to become the Lolita to this guy’s Humbert?. That, by the way, is actually a comparison I made at the time, which is so gross to me now. I romanticized a story about an adult man kidnapping, molesting, and raping an adolescent girl. None of that stuff happened to me, but I still wince when I remember how I idealized the thought of someone being single-mindedly obsessed with me the way the novel’s narrator is with Lolita. (Um, probably don’t do this, you guys.)
It wasn’t like I was stupid. At 15 I was smart and self-aware. But I didn’t have enough experience or wisdom (as opposed to intelligence) to completely understand what I was getting into. I thought I was totally prepared to deal with the daily realities of having a boyfriend who was older than me by a decade-plus, which turned out to be less than correct.
Before I get into the real nitty gritty, though, a few caveats. First, being attracted to older guys is completely and totally normal. It doesn’t mean you have “daddy issues” or whatever; that phrase doesn’t actually mean anything, because it can be applied (or, preferably, not) to every person on the planet. Being attracted to someone older just means you are a human person who sometimes thinks other human people are sexy! I mean, I know: some cute college guy who spells his texts properly and actually seems to wash his face (be still my beating heart) can be pretty tough crush competition for the bros in your 10th grade math class. And if there’s one thing of which I’m certain about you Rookies, it’s this: to borrow a compliment frequently expressed to you by your grandpa/kindly next-door neighbor/best friend’s mom, YOU ARE VERY MATURE FOR YOUR AGE. Which means it can sometimes be tough to find things in common with other people who, well, aren’t that way, including potential homecoming dates. So it’s totally fine to moon over people who are older than you! Acting on those feelings, however, is more complicador.
Which isn’t to say that there aren’t plenty of loving, mutually respectful relationships between people with long gaps between their birth years. Not every one of these situations is going to be a soap opera about forbidden love and sexual corruption; sometimes it really is just about two people who really like and respect each other. It’s totally doable, as long as you keep some things (*cough* MY INSANELY WISE WORDS BELOW *cough*) in mind.
My third preface is that this article is, by design, focused on the younger woman/older man dynamic, because that’s what so many of you have written to us about, and it’s so powerful a cultural trope as to have spawned novels, movies, stereotypes, and cliches. And the fact that adults and males have social/cultural/economic/etc. power over teenagers and females adds extra force to the power differential in this kind of arrangement. At some point we’ll do a piece on age differences in queer relationships, but this one is about teenage girls dating older dudes. I’ll use male pronouns a lot for this reason. (That said, most [but not all] of this advice will apply to sexual/romantic relationships involving people of any and all genders.)
Finally, I don’t mean for this article to read as “A HORRIBLE OLD MAN TOOK MY YOUTHFUL INNOCENCE,” because that’s not what happened. I made my own decisions when I was 15, and I enjoyed the majority of the time I spent dating that 28-year-old as well as the older dudes who came after him. But if you’re looking to get into one of these situations, I’m guessing you don’t need to be told about the alluring/fun parts, and if you’re writing to us about it, it’s clear that you are weighing your decision carefully, and not being passively swept away or coerced. And so this article is gonna focus on the not-so-fun stuff—the things I didn’t know or understand back then, and that maybe you don’t now.
So, here are the things I wish someone had talked to me about when I was 15—if they had, I doubt I would have acted on my proclivity for adult men at least until it was legal for me to do so, or maybe I would have just dialed my actions back a little. If you share my teenage (and current) tendencies and decide, after reading all these points, to charge ahead with your May-December romance, no one here is judging you, and I hope it’s a beautiful and positive experience. But maybe within it, you’ll find these points as useful as I would have at your age.
1. Sex with a minor is a crime in most countries.
What this means is that even if the person you’re seeing doesn’t know you’re underage—like, even if you show him or her a fake ID—he or she can face felony charges if someone finds out that you’re engaging in any kind of sexual activity, even if you were a willing participant. So, in addition to potentially messing with your brain, which is obviously what I care about most and what we’ll be primarily dealing with after this point, getting sexually involved with an older person if you’re under the age of consent (which varies from state to state and from country to country) could result in that person’s being sent to jail, which is a pretty serious thing to keep in mind.
2. Consider the age difference—how old are you and how old are they?
When I first started getting involved with older men, I was all “age ain’t nothin’ but a number .” But that is actually not the case, and the fact that I know that now but didn’t then proves my point. (Also, did you know that that song was written for Aaliyah by R. Kelly, who was boning her teenage self at the time? Anaheed told me this last year and I was like EW.)
When plotting to French an older person, you might be tempted to rationalize the stretch of time between your two births thusly: “Well, my mom and my dad [or whoever] are seven years apart in age and they’re doing swell, so LET’S GET THIS THING GOIN’.” Everyone knows a happy grown-up couple with a significant number of years between them, but the thing is this: Those two people are adults, and when that’s the case, how old you are in relation to your partner matters less. When you’re a teenager, however, every year is a pivotal one! Consider how different you are now from how you were two years ago—huge, right? You’re basically a whole ’nother person. Just as awesome, but with a radically different perspective on what happened in middle school, you know? That idea also applies to the years between you and an older paramour. Time behaves more peculiarly when you’re younger because everything changes so quickly, so the distance between 16 and 21 is way bigger than the one between 23 and 28.
That said, when you’re 17 or 18, it’s not really a big deal to hook up with someone who’s just a few years older than you. (And many jurisdictions have added so-called “Romeo and Juliet ” clauses to their statutory-rape laws to acknowledge this common sense.) Maybe your girlfriend or boyfriend went off to college, maybe you met a cute 21-year-old drummer at a show—these things happen and are fine as long as you feel comfortable with this older person. That means: Do you feel OK disagreeing with them? Are they respectful of your life outside of your relationship? Do they get along with your friends? Do they treat you as a peer? If you’re unsure, a good rule of thumb is to draw the line at getting involved with anyone who is older than you by a quarter of the years you’ve been alive. And anyone under the age of 17 should probably wait a little while to be with any person whose age doesn’t also end in - teen.
3. You have plenty of time to date people older than you, but not nearly as much to have a high-school romance.
Teenagehood lasts only seven years. You have literally the rest of your earthly days to date people in their 20s and up, but you can never have a real high-school romance again after 12th grade is over. I didn’t give myself a chance to do all that puppy-love stuff like passing love notes in class, holding hands during cheesy assemblies, and sneaking quick kisses in the hallway during passing period. All of these things seem awesome, and I’m kind of pissed that I gave them up!
When you get a little older, the fun first-timeyness that goes with teenage love dissipates. While love and sex are still the absolute jam, the hot mystery of figuring out how to do them is over with. It’s much more fun to share these things with people who are also just learning about them, i. e. not some graduate student who doesn’t get why you’re so stoked to be making out with someone since they’ve done it a million times. Even though high school boys can seem immature, they, like you, are most likely going to be SO EAGER AND WOWED by the prospect of romantic and sexual stuff. Doesn’t that sound kinda great? That’s because it is!
4. Because of the whole potential-incarceration-of-their-partner thing, a teenager may have to hide a relationship with an older person from everyone else in their life.
Some of the best parts of having a boyfriend or girlfriend involve other people: he or she is someone with whom you can roll your eyes at family functions, a teammate for party games, and a topic of obsessive conversation with your best friends. If you’re in a relationship that is not only frowned upon by society in general but also highly illegal, chances are that most if not all of these things are off-limits, because you have to keep your relationship a secret. While at first it might seem alluring to have a PRIVATE ROMANTIC WORLD with someone (and it is exciting in the beginning, I admit), your life is not a movie (sucks, I know). Keeping things underground gets tiring and frustrating, not to mention a little overwhelming, really quickly.
I learned this the tough way with my 28-year-old, whom, for convenience’s sake, I’m going to give a name from here on out: Alan. I can’t tell you his real name because our relationship was a secret and also illegal, and even though the statute of limitations on that crime has expired, he would be still be rightly embarrassed to have anyone in his life know that he was creepin’ with a high school sophomore when he was five years out of college. Because of the taboo nature of our situation, I had to keep Alan hidden from even my bestest of buds. This was really difficult and very isolating. When he and I got into fights, there was no one in whom I could confide, since no one knew he existed. When I wanted to hang out with him, I had to do a lot of sneaking around and lying to the people I loved. That blew. And when the novelty of having an illicit love affair wore off, I had no one to talk to about how confused and upset I was about certain aspects of the relationship.
Having a significantly older partner severely limits the stuff you can do together, too. You can’t exactly bring a 30-year-old to prom! You also can’t hang out with each other’s friends without everyone feeling a little awkward, go on public dates without attracting a lot of weird looks and potentially the attention of authorities, or, most likely, meet each other’s families. Basically the only things I could do with Alan regularly were hanging out in his car or in secluded places like parking lots and dark corners of public parks. Sounds really safe and romantic, right? UH, NO, ARE YOU KIDDING ME EVEN. Not to be all dramatic, but seriously: flying solo with an older guy who wants to sleep with you in shady places where no one knows who you’re with or where you are = a really easy way to get murked or otherwise hurt. Please be smarter than I was about this BASIC TENET OF COMMON SENSE, because I like you exactly how you are: in one piece.
5. Why does this person want to date a teenager?
This is the biggest question you should ask yourself about some older suitor who’s sniffing around your doorstep. Why does he/she want to date you and not someone their own age? Your natural answer might be the one I would have given when I was 15: BECAUSE WE ARE A PERFECT MATCH AND I AM SPECIAL AND VERY MATURE. You are special and mature, of course—there’s no denying that—but it’s probably not the main reason that a grown man is trying to get all makey-outey with you. It’s easy to feel flattered and
so adult
when this is happening—it can be totally exciting when a cute older person thinks you’re cool! But I encourage you to take a step back and consider the motives of anyone significantly older than you.
OK, here’s where I bring up the big topic that drives the whole controversy surrounding this discussion, one which I would have rolled my eyes at when I was dating my 28-year-old, but which I now know is a valid line of thinking: if a person who is of legal drinking age or above makes a habit of courting people who are in high school, there’s a good chance they might be a pedophile (or, if you want to be super technical, an ephobophile ). Also, adults know that seducing teenagers, even willing, smart, self-aware teenagers, carries with it a power imbalance that is ripe for exploitation, and very often qualifies as abuse. They know how easy it is to screw with your brain, and that can have long-term effects, 99% of them negative. No one who cares about your wellbeing will seek to do this to you, no matter how attracted they might be to your personhood. If they chase you despite this knowledge, they’re putting their sexual interest above the basic and awful knowledge that they are probably hurting what is, let’s face it, a kid. That, my loves, is fucked.
6. While older people might know more about books and kissing and Good Bands of the Past, they probably also know more about how to manipulate people.
A lot of older people select much younger partners because they themselves are insecure—they feel intimidated by women their own age, who aren’t as easily impressed as someone with a lot less experience might be. It’s not like I was a DUMB NAIVE BABYHEAD regarding books/music/etc. when I was 15—I would say I was so taken with Alan because I was the opposite! I was really excited that, whoa, here was a dude who could talk to me about art and poetry and other stuff that I loved, in a way that the grunty guys in my classes didn’t seem capable of. I thought it was, like, the absolute greatest thing in the world when Alan knew who Samuel Beckett was. (I now know that being able to name a playwright isn’t really enough to base a relationship on, but I digress.) I was so thrilled to be able to talk to my boyfriend about literature ’n’ stuff that I didn’t really notice that he wasn’t talking to me so much as he was talking down to me. This strikes me now as enormously pathetic–some dude almost in his 30s needing to prove how SMART and LEARNED he was to someone who wasn’t old enough to drive.
It’s really common for older partners to pull the you’re-so-young-and-I-know-so-much-better-than-you card about just about everything, from movies to politics to sex. You might feel like you and your older person are emotional equals, but again, age and gender differences create power imbalances, and those can be leveraged to pressure you into stuff, no matter how self-possessed you are. It doesn’t take much for someone older than you to make you feel babyish, and you might make choices that aren’t in your best interest just to re-establish the feeling that you’re totally mature and that you two are peers.
In any good relationship, the people involved are treated with equal respect and value, and when someone is dismissing your thoughts because of your age, that’s bullshit behavior because it’s rude, and because it can make you feel disrespected and chip away at your self-worth. When I was with Alan, I was constantly afraid of seeming immature and unintelligent, which led me to go along with a lot of what he said and what he wanted to do, even stuff I didn’t agree with. This was far from healthy; also, his ideas of what constituted mature behavior were often MAD WRONG. When I was with friends or at parties and not immediately answering his text messages, he would become enraged. His logic was that I was being passive-aggressive and uncommunicative by not getting back to him within five minutes, and that this was a childish thing to do. I changed my behavior to better suit his idea of what an adult relationship was like, but now I know that he was being the infantile (and scary!) one.
I want to talk about that situation a little bit more, because it’s another important thing to keep in mind before you get involved with an adult. All that power-imbalance stuff we discussed in point #5 is really appealing to people who have a need to control their partners, which not only leads to abuse, but is abusive all by itself. Alan freaked out when I was with other people. He wanted to restrict my social interactions, and punished me by getting angry when I wouldn’t answer his texts fast enough. He also tried to turn me against other people in my life: when I confided in him about my problems with my family or friends, he would try to make it seem like they were the WORST, MOST VILLAINOUS PEOPLE IN THE WORLD (they weren’t, of course) and that he was the only person who understood me, so I should only spend time with him.
A common theme in emotional abuse is the abuser creating distance between the abused person and their friends and family in order to exert control over them. When you can’t tell anyone that a relationship is even happening in the first place, the potential for abusive isolation is built right in from the start. A predator can easily take advantage of your lack of a support system—they know that if they manipulate and/or hurt you, no one can give you a reality check and say, “WAIT, HOLD UP, THE WAY THIS PERSON IS TREATING YOU IS REALLY NOT OK.” Of course, this also applies to physical abuse–it makes it a hell of a lot easier for someone looking to harm you bodily if they know you haven’t told anyone about the fact that their behavior is scaring you. If any of this sounds like something you’re experiencing, please tell someone right away, even if—maybe especially if—you’re afraid to do so.
Eventually, Alan’s insecurities about my social life rose to unmanageable levels. I didn’t even have to mention my family or friends (whom, keep in mind, he had never met) anymore for him to launch into hateful tirades about them. This finally got me to see Alan for what he was: a by-then-29-year-old who needed to control and manipulate a 15-year-old in order to feel validated. Once I did, I was outta there LIKETHAT.
7. SEX SEX SEXXXXXX.
SO MANY OF YOU ARE CURIOUS ABOUT THIS. The questions in your emails tend to go like this: “If I date an older guy, is he going to expect me to go further than a little chaste makin’-out sooner than I might otherwise do that?” Well, it depends on the guy, but typically, the answer is yes. Since most of these dudes have been sexually active for longer than you have, sex isn’t, for them, the momentous occasion it might be for you, especially if you haven’t had it (or much of it, anyway). So they’re less likely to wait a while before moving past the tonsil-hockey stage.
In these AND ALL relationships, it’s crucial to communicate clearly what your boundaries are, and by this I don’t mean wordlessly steering someone’s hand away from where it’s feeling around on your skirt like 23 times in a row while you’re kissing them. Tell the person that you’re with, in words, what you are and are not ready to do, preferably well before any of those activities are on the verge of happening—you don’t want to have to make a split-second decision in the heat of the moment about what is or isn’t off limits.
If your love interest isn’t willing to respect the boundaries that you set on your sexual activity, that’s their problem. Another problem of theirs is that you’re not going to stick around so that they can try to convince you that THIS IS WHAT MATURE PEOPLE DO and that IT’S REALLY NOT A BIG DEAL and that YOU CANNOT TELL A GROWN MAN TO WAIT. You’re going to leave them on the curb alongside the other garbage bags.
***
OK. Phew. So, that’s all the stuff I wish I had known! I will repeat here that I don’t think that dating older guys is always terrible or that it will irrevocably ruin your life. Even if you have a bad experience like mine with Alan, you will get over it.
And for all the dangers that come with dating older people, there are upsides—obviously, or we wouldn’t need to have had this li’l talk. It’s nice to be around people who are assured of themselves and their interests, a quality that usually increases the longer you’ve been hanging out on planet Earth. And, of course, there’s the whole face-washing thing. Swoon.
Just be sure—and I say this to you no matter what age your love interest happens to be—that you and of course THEY are responsible and respectful in actions and behaviors; that you are equal partners; that you feel like you can get out of it at any time, for any reason, without fear; and that you are happy.
And remember: "Lolita" is not a love story. OK? All right, get along. As always, be safe and enjoy, ya little minxes. ¦
Dating Over 50: Why Older Men Date Younger Women (VIDEO)
As you know either from your personal experience or from chatting with single friends, dating over 50 can be complicated. One possible reason is a smaller dating pool that some feel gets even smaller when older men date younger women .
This was the topic on HuffPost Live recently, as a panel of post 50s talked about dating over 50 with host Nancy Redd. Richard Reiner of Los Angeles, California said he's dated women his age as well as women 20 to 25 years younger and found he just didn't click with women his age.
"The women that I've met closer to my age seem to be less dreamy. more jaded is the word I would use, because they've had so many bad experiences with men," Reiner said. "It's not how I feel. I still have the dream."
Reiner explains why he prefers to date younger women in the video above. What's your preference? Let us know in the poll or the comments section.
С какими брокерами я зарабатываю на Форекс?
Я давно уже торгую на Форекс и за 6 лет работы на рынке сменил 9 брокеров по разным причинам. Случалось у меня и у моих знакомых разное, бывало, что
- стопы мои сбивали не рыночными ценами в WHC ,
- не отдавали выигрыш — 1000 $ в FXstart. До сих пор, кстати, они работают… Чтобы вы подавились моей тыщей.
- все деньги моих друзей исчезали в никуда вместе с компанией Броко
Сейчас для себя оставил только 3 ДЦ, в которых мне больше всего нравится работать. Это:
Инстафорекс – хорошие торговые условия и безпроблемная работа уже 2 года. Мне тут нравится больше всего, что дают плечо 1 к 1000 и бонус 30% от счёта при пополнении.
Альпари – контора хороша тем, что она очень крупная и старая, я у них держу основные деньги, часть из которых вкладываю в ПАММы. Вы и сами в курсе, что у них самый крупный сервис ПАММ счетов в СНГ,
Forex4you – тут мне нравится торговать на миросчетах маленькими суммами, я тут тестирую свои новые идеи и наработки.
Кстати, и ещё! Двое знакомых работают в EXNESS . очень хвалят, тоже, вроде не плохая компания. Основное преимущество в ней в том, что там дают плечо до 1:2000 и спреды очень низкие. Проскальзывания минимальные. Сам я там деньги не держу, но о компании наслышан.
Radiocarbon dating
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Radiocarbon dating is a method of determining the age of an object by using the properties of radiocarbon. a radioactive isotope of carbon. The method was invented by Willard Libby in the late 1940s and soon became a standard tool for archaeologists. It depends on the fact that radiocarbon, often abbreviated as 14
C. is constantly being created in the atmosphere by the interaction of cosmic rays with atmospheric nitrogen. The resulting radiocarbon combines with atmospheric oxygen to form radioactive carbon dioxide. This is then incorporated into plants by photosynthesis. and animals acquire 14
C by eating the plants. When the animal or plant dies, it stops exchanging carbon with its environment, and from that point the amount of 14
C it contains begins to reduce as the 14
C undergoes radioactive decay. Measuring the amount of 14
C in a sample from a dead plant or animal such as piece of old wood or a fragment of bone provides information that can be used to calculate when the animal or plant died. The oldest dates that can be reliably measured by radiocarbon dating are around 50,000 years ago, though special preparation methods occasionally permit dating of older samples.
While the idea behind radiocarbon dating is straightforward, years of additional work were required to develop the technique to the point where accurate dates could be obtained. Research has been going on since the 1960s to determine what the proportion of 14
C in the atmosphere has been over the past fifty thousand years. The resulting data, in the form of a calibration curve, is now used to convert a given measurement of radiocarbon in a sample into an estimate of the sample's actual calendar age. In addition to this curve, other corrections must be made to account for different proportions of 14
C in different types of organism (fractionation) and different 14
C levels in different parts of the biosphere (reservoir effects).
Measurement of radiocarbon was originally done by beta-counting devices, so called because they counted the amount of beta radiation emitted by decaying 14
C atoms in a sample. More recently, accelerator mass spectrometry has become the method of choice; it can be used with much smaller samples (as small as individual plant seeds), and gives results much more quickly.
The development of radiocarbon dating has had a profound impact on archaeology. In addition to permitting more accurate dating within archaeological sites than did methods previously in use, it also allows comparison of dates of events across great distances. Histories of archaeology often refer to the early impact of the new method as the “radiocarbon revolution”. Occasionally, the method is used for items of popular interest such as the Shroud of Turin. which is claimed to show an image of the body of Jesus Christ. A sample of linen from the shroud was tested in 1988 and found to date from the 1200s or 1300s, casting doubt on its authenticity.
Contents
Background [ edit ]
History [ edit ]
In the early 1930s Willard Libby was a chemistry student at the University of Berkeley. receiving his Ph. D. in 1933. He remained there as an instructor until the end of the decade. In 1939 the Radiation Laboratory at Berkeley began experiments to determine if any of the elements common in organic matter had isotopes with half-lives long enough to be of value in biomedical research. It was soon discovered that 14
C 's half-life was far longer than had been previously thought, and in 1940 this was followed by proof that the interaction of slow neutrons with 14
N was the main pathway by which 14
C was created. It had previously been thought 14
C would be more likely to be created by deuterons interacting with 13
C. At about this time Libby read a paper by W. E. Danforth and S. A. Korff, published in 1939, which predicted the creation of 14
C in the atmosphere by neutrons from cosmic rays which had been slowed down by collisions with molecules of atmospheric gas. It was this paper that first gave Libby the idea that radiocarbon dating might be possible. [ 1 ]
In 1945, Libby moved to the University of Chicago. He published a paper in 1946 in which he proposed that the carbon in living matter might include 14
C as well as non-radioactive carbon. [ 2 ] [ 3 ] Libby and several collaborators proceeded to experiment with methane collected from sewage works in Baltimore, and after isotopically enriching their samples they were able to demonstrate that they contained radioactive 14
C. By contrast, methane created from petroleum had no radiocarbon activity. The results were summarized in a paper in Science in 1947, and the authors commented that their results implied it would be possible to date materials containing carbon of organic origin. [ 2 ] [ 4 ]
Libby and James Arnold proceeded to experiment with samples of wood of known age. For example, two wood samples taken from the tombs of two Egyptian kings, Zoser and Sneferu. independently dated to 2625 BC plus or minus 75 years, were dated by radiocarbon measurement to an average of 2800 BC plus or minus 250 years. These results were published in Science in 1949. [ 5 ] [ 6 ] In 1960, Libby was awarded the Nobel Prize in Chemistry for this work. [ 2 ]
Physical and chemical details [ edit ]
In nature, carbon exists as two stable, nonradioactive isotopes. carbon-12 ( 12
C ), and a radioactive isotope, carbon-14 ( 14
C ), also known as "radiocarbon". The half-life of 14
C (the time it takes for half of a given amount of 14
C to decay ) is about 5,730 years, so its concentration in the atmosphere might be expected to reduce over thousands of years. However, 14
C is constantly being produced in the lower stratosphere and upper troposphere by cosmic rays. which generate neutrons that in turn create 14
C when they strike nitrogen-14 ( 14
N ) atoms. [ 2 ] The 14
C creation process is described by the following nuclear reaction :
Once produced, the 14
C quickly combines with the oxygen in the atmosphere to form carbon dioxide ( CO
2 ). Carbon dioxide produced in this way diffuses in the atmosphere, is dissolved in the ocean, and is taken up by plants via photosynthesis. Animals eat the plants, and ultimately the radiocarbon is distributed throughout the biosphere. The ratio of 14
Principles [ edit ]
During its life, a plant or animal is exchanging carbon with its surroundings, so the carbon it contains will have the same proportion of 14
C as the biosphere and the carbon exchange reservoir. Once it dies, it ceases to acquire 14
C. but the 14
C within its biological material at that time will continue to decay, and so the ratio of 14
C to 12
C in its remains will gradually reduce. Because 14
C decays at a known rate, the proportion of radiocarbon can be used to determine how long it has been since a given sample stopped exchanging carbon—the older the sample, the less 14
C will be left. [ 8 ]
The equation governing the decay of a radioactive isotope is: [ 2 ]
where N 0 is the number of atoms of the isotope in the original sample (at time t = 0, when the organism from which the sample was taken died), and N is the number of atoms left after time t . [ 2 ] ? is a constant that depends on the particular isotope; for a given isotope it is equal to the reciprocal of the mean-life — i. e. the average or expected time a given atom will survive before undergoing radioactive decay. [ 2 ] The mean-life, denoted by ? . of 14
C is 8,267 years, so the equation above can be rewritten as: [ 11 ]
The sample is assumed to have originally had the same 14
C / 12
C ratio as the ratio in the biosphere, and since the size of the sample is known, the total number of atoms in the sample can be calculated, yielding N 0 . the number of 14
C atoms in the original sample. Measurement of N . the number of 14
C atoms currently in the sample, allows the calculation of t . the age of the sample, using the equation above. [ 8 ]
The half-life of a radioactive isotope (the time it takes for half of the sample to decay, usually denoted by t 1/2 ) is a more familiar concept than the mean-life, so although the equations above are expressed in terms of the mean-life, it is more usual to quote the value of 14
C 's half-life than its mean-life. [ note 1 ] The currently accepted value for the half-life of 14
C is 5,730 years. [ 2 ] This means that after 5,730 years, only half of the initial 14
C will have remained; a quarter will have remained after 11,460 years; an eighth after 17,190 years; and so on.
The above calculations make several assumptions, such as that the level of 14
C in the biosphere has remained constant over time. [ 2 ] In fact, the level of 14
C in the biosphere has varied significantly and as a result the values provided by the equation above have to be corrected by using data from other sources in the form of a calibration curve, which is described in more detail below. [ 12 ] For over a decade after Libby's initial work, the accepted value of the half-life for 14
C was 5,568 years; this was improved in the early 1960s to 5,730 years, which meant that many calculated dates in published papers were now incorrect (the error is about 3%). However, it is possible to incorporate a correction for the half-life value into the calibration curve, and so it has become standard practice to quote measured radiocarbon dates in "radiocarbon years", meaning that the dates are calculated using Libby's half-life value and have not been calibrated. [ 13 ] [ note 2 ] This approach has the advantage of maintaining consistency with the early papers, and also avoids the risk of a double correction for the Libby half-life value. [ 15 ]
Carbon exchange reservoir [ edit ]
Simplified version of the carbon exchange reservoir, showing proportions of carbon and relative activity of the 14
The different elements of the carbon exchange reservoir vary in how much carbon they store, and in how long it takes for the 14
C generated by cosmic rays to fully mix with them. [ 2 ] The atmosphere, which is where 14
C is generated, contains about 1.9% of the total carbon in the reservoirs, and the 14
C it contains mixes in less than seven years. [ 16 ] [ 17 ] The ratio of 14
C to 12
C in the atmosphere is taken as the baseline for the other reservoirs: if another reservoir has a lower ratio of 14
C to 12
C. it indicates that the carbon is older and hence that some of the 14
C has decayed. [ 12 ] The ocean surface is an example: it contains 2.4% of the carbon in the exchange reservoir, [ 16 ] but there is only about 95% as much 14
C as would be expected if the ratio were the same as in the atmosphere. [ 2 ] The time it takes for carbon from the atmosphere to mix with the surface ocean is only a few years, [ 18 ] but the surface waters also receive water from the deep ocean, which has over 90% of the carbon in the reservoir. [ 12 ] Water in the deep ocean takes about 1,000 years to circulate back through surface waters, and so the surface waters contain a combination of older water, with depleted 14
C. and water recently at the surface, with 14
C in equilibrium with the atmosphere. [ 12 ]
Creatures living at the ocean surface have the same 14
C ratios as the water they live in, and as a result of the reduced 14
C / 12
C ratio, the radiocarbon age of marine life is typically about 400 years. [ 19 ] [ note 4 ] Organisms on land, however, are in closer equilibrium with the atmosphere and have the same 14
C / 12
C ratio as the atmosphere. [ 2 ] These organisms contain about 1.3% of the carbon in the reservoir; sea organisms have a mass of less than 1% of those on land and are not shown on the diagram. [ 16 ] Accumulated dead organic matter, of both plants and animals, exceeds the mass of the biosphere by a factor of nearly 3, and since this matter is no longer exchanging carbon with its environment, it has a 14
C / 12
Dating considerations [ edit ]
The variation in the 14
C / 12
C ratio in different parts of the carbon exchange reservoir means that a straightforward calculation of the age of a sample based on the amount of 14
C it contains will often give an incorrect result. There are several other possible sources of error that need to be considered. The errors are of four general types:
variations in the 14
C / 12
C ratio in the atmosphere, both geographically and over time;
isotopic fractionation;
variations in the 14
C / 12
C ratio in different parts of the reservoir;
contamination.
Atmospheric variation [ edit ]
In the early years of using the technique, it was understood that it depended on the atmospheric 14
C / 12
C ratio having remained the same over the preceding few thousand years. To verify the accuracy of the method, several artefacts that were datable by other techniques were tested; the results of the testing were in reasonable agreement with the true ages of the objects. However, in 1958, Hessel de Vries was able to demonstrate that the 14
C / 12
C ratio had changed over time by testing wood samples of known ages and showing there was a significant deviation from the expected ratio. This discrepancy, often called the de Vries effect, was resolved by the study of tree rings. [ 20 ] [ 21 ] Comparison of overlapping series of tree rings allowed the construction of a continuous sequence of tree-ring data that spanned 8,000 years. [ 20 ] (Since that time the tree-ring data series has been extended to 13,900 years.) [ 22 ] Carbon-dating the wood from the tree rings themselves provided the check needed on the atmospheric 14
C / 12
C ratio: with a sample of known date, and a measurement of the value of N (the number of atoms of 14
C remaining in the sample), the carbon-dating equation allows the calculation of N 0 – the number of atoms of 14
C in the sample at the time the tree ring was formed – and hence the 14
C / 12
C ratio in the atmosphere at that time. [ 20 ] Armed with the results of carbon-dating the tree rings, it became possible to construct calibration curves designed to correct the errors caused by the variation over time in the 14
C / 12
C ratio. [ 23 ] These curves are described in more detail below .
Atmospheric 14
C. New Zealand [ 24 ] and Austria. [ 25 ] The New Zealand curve is representative of the Southern Hemisphere; the Austrian curve is representative of the Northern Hemisphere. Atmospheric nuclear weapon tests almost doubled the concentration of 14
C in the Northern Hemisphere. [ 9 ] The date that the Partial Test Ban Treaty (PTBT) went into effect is marked on the graph.
Coal and oil began to be burned in large quantities during the 1800s. Both coal and oil are sufficiently old that they contain little detectable 14
C and, as a result, the CO
2 released substantially diluted the atmospheric 14
C / 12
C ratio. Dating an object from the early 20th century hence gives an apparent date older than the true date. For the same reason, 14
C concentrations in the neighbourhood of large cities are lower than the atmospheric average. This fossil fuel effect (also known as the Suess effect, after Hans Suess. who first reported it in 1955) would only amount to a reduction of 0.2% in 14
C activity if the additional carbon from fossil fuels were distributed throughout the carbon exchange reservoir, but because of the long delay in mixing with the deep ocean, the actual effect is a 3% reduction. [ 20 ] [ 26 ]
A much larger effect comes from above-ground nuclear testing, which released large numbers of neutrons and created 14
C. From about 1950 until 1963, when atmospheric nuclear testing was banned, it is estimated that several tonnes of 14
C were created. If all this extra 14
C had immediately been spread across the entire carbon exchange reservoir, it would have led to an increase in the 14
C / 12
C ratio of only a few per cent, but the immediate effect was to almost double the amount of 14
C in the atmosphere, with the peak level occurring in about 1965. The level has since dropped, as the "bomb carbon" (as it is sometimes called) percolates into the rest of the reservoir. [ 20 ] [ 26 ] [ 27 ]
Isotopic fractionation [ edit ]
Photosynthesis is the primary process by which carbon moves from the atmosphere into living things. In both photosynthetic pathways (C3 and C4 ) 12
C is absorbed slightly more easily than 13
C. which in turn is more easily absorbed than 14
C ratios in plants that differ from the ratios in the atmosphere. This effect is known as isotopic fractionation. [ 28 ] [ 29 ]
To determine the degree of fractionation that takes place in a given plant, the amounts of both 12
C and 13
C isotopes are measured, and the resulting 13
C / 12
C ratio is then compared to a standard ratio known as PDB. [ note 5 ] The 13
C / 12
C ratio is used instead of 14
C / 12
C because the former is much easier to measure, and the latter can be easily derived: the depletion of 13
C relative to 12
C is proportional to the difference in the atomic masses of the two isotopes, so the depletion for 14
C is twice the depletion of 13
C. [ 12 ] The fractionation of 13
C. known as ? 13 C. is calculated as follows: [ 28 ]
where the ‰ sign indicates parts per thousand. [ 28 ] Because the PDB standard contains an unusually high proportion of 13
C. [ note 6 ] most measured ? 13 C values are negative.
Raymond Lam is Dating 18-Year-Old Karena Ng?
By Jayne on July 24, 2012
Raymond Lam’s (??) love life has taken an exciting turn! In early July, Raymond stated that a woman had captured his heart, without providing explicit details. It turned out that 32-year-old Raymond may have fallen for 18-year-old Karena Ng (???), after filming new movie, Love is…Pyjamas <?????> together in April. The hot rumored couple was caught on a private date on July 21st.
Karena Ng’s Background Revealed
Karena’s mother is of Chinese descent, while her father has a mixed Australian-French-Chinese heritage. Karena Ng’s heritage gave her an exotic beauty. Standing at 5 feet 6 inches, Karena possessed a pair of long legs that mesmerized many fans. After starring in a commercial, Karena was invited by producer Raymond Wong (???) and cast in movie, Magic to Win <????> opposite Wu Chun (??) in 2011. Karena was nominated in the 31st Annual Hong Kong Film Awards in the Best New Performer category for her performance in Magic to Win .
Karena was one of the young pretty girls that Raymond Wong hoped to promote as part of “New Happy Girls,” in an attempt to replicate the success of the 1980s trio which consisted of Fennie Yuen (???), May Lo (???), and Charine Chan (???).
Rumored to be a favorite of producer Raymond Wong, Karena also appeared in The Eighth Happiness <????>.
Although it was declared earlier that Karena has studied in Australia, conflicting news emerged that she was enrolled in a local Hong Kong high school before entering the entertainment industry.
Raymond and Karena’s Romance Blossoms
Karena Ng and Raymond Lam recently partnered together in new film, Love is…Pyjamas . While filming in Hangzhou, Raymond allegedly tossed aside all his dating reservations, especially after being deeply hurt by Mavis Pan (???) in the bed photo scandal last year. Although Raymond was very busy making career advancements in film and music, he did not wish to let the opportunity slip away after meeting the right romantic prospect.
It was understood that Karena has a very pure, but straightforward personality. Karena indicated that she hoped to get married by 25 years old and have children before turning 30 years old. She claimed that she had only dated once before, in which her boyfriend was a British man.
However, conflicting reports claimed that Karena was involved with former Miss Hong Kong, Ellen Wong’s (???) son, Derek Lim, since last year. When Raymond and Karena met on the set of Love is…Pyjamas , she was still dating Dennis. Tabloids speculated that Karena may have ended her relationship with Dennis two months ago, after falling for Raymond.
In June, Karena went to Xiamen, China for the first time, to attend the Xiamen Film Festival. Karena even left a teasing message on her blog, “Next time, I will have to go to Raymond Lam’s house because he said that his home offers the best food and is the most comfortable place in Xiamen!”
Caught on Dinner Date
On Saturday, July 21st, Raymond and Karena met for a private date in a Western-style restaurant at approximately 5 PM. Raymond drove from his house to meet Karena at the restaurant. After a 45-minute dinner, Raymond emerged from the restaurant with Karena by his side, holding an umbrella to shield her from the rain. Next, the pair disappeared into a large building for an hour, apparently on a secret “rendezvous.”
Raymond was dressed in a black shirt and wore a cap, while Karena wore a sleeveless white dress. When the pair discovered that the paparazzi was secretly taking photos. they quickly boarded a taxi. They kept their distance in the taxi. Entering the busy streets of Causeway Bay, Raymond suddenly disembarked and ran away, leaving Karena in the taxi by herself!
Hot Karaoke Date
Several days earlier, Raymond, Karena and a group of approximately two dozen crew members from Love is…Pyjamas headed to a karaoke bar in Central, Hong Kong. An insider revealed that Raymond and Karena’s attraction towards each other was very obvious, in which they often chatted with each other. Raymond sang several love songs that evening. Although there was a bathroom inside the karaoke room, Karena chose to use one in the hallway. Raymond went with her and waited outside the bathroom door.
The group partied until 5 AM. An insider revealed, “Raymond asked Karena to leave the karaoke bar together. Who knows where they went afterward?”
Raymond Lam Hints of Dating
In a radio interview on July 3th, Raymond stated, ““In the past, I thought too much. My work is too hectic right now. If I were to come across the right person, I will take hold of the opportunity. I have come across a good romantic prospect, but it is not the right time now. I have to wait and observe a bit more.”
On July 17th, while appearing at a celebratory dinner for Three Kingdoms RPG <???? >, Raymond revealed his stance on declaring his dating status openly, “If the timing were right and I wished to reveal it (the romance), then I will do so, which is normal.” Claiming that he was still looking for the right person, Raymond added that if the public acknowledgement made his girlfriend happy and he was comfortable about an open declaration, he will do so.
Over the last three weeks, Raymond admitted that he met a woman who captured his heart and even said he will reveal the romance should his girlfriend wish to do so. Given his recent dinner and karaoke dates with Karena Ng, Raymond Lam may have very likely found a new girlfriend!
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Jayne: Not surprised that Raymond is dating again. The fact that he prepped the public early July that he is interested in someone romantically alerted the Hong Kong paparazzi to follow his every move, until they were able to capture photos of his dinner date with Karena Ng.
Karena is very pretty, but do you think 18 is still too young? Dating such a young woman, I guess Raymond just wishes to enjoy the sensations of young, vibrant love.
It is also interesting that Raymond Lam seems to prefer young women, while his Three Kingdoms RPG costar, Kenneth Ma, openly said he prefers older women (even 20 years apart is okay)!
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7 Observations on Dating for Short Guys
by Matt Savage
F or many men height can be an issue and being a short guy tends to cause those men to have a lot of hang-ups in life. You see, the self-esteem issues of being short for a male is like being overweight for a female. The only difference is that while weight can be lost, our height is permanent.
I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned this on the blog before but I’m 5 foot 4 inches, so I think I’m qualified to talk about this. And though I don’t have any secrets of short guy seduction or magical words of wisdom, I would like to posit some observations I’ve made as it pertains to this issue.
1. Don’t Take Your Height for Granted, It Could Be Worse
It used to piss me off when guys who were 5’8 or even 5’6 would complain on public forums about how tough they had it. Of course, being a shorter guy, I’d resent them and say, “Dude, if only I were that tall I’d be cleaning up.” Then some other guy who was even shorter would chime in and bitch me out for complaining.
As much as you complain about how you have it tough, just remember that there is always someone shorter than you who wishes he were in your position . Unless you’re Verne Troyer you shouldn’t complain. By the way, Verne Troyer gets laid like a rock star.
2. Take Advantage of Accessories
I have a pair of platform shoes. It took me a long time to find a pair that was stylish and could easily integrate into my wardrobe but it was well worth it. Not only do they look good and get a lot of compliments, but they boost my height by about two and a half inches. Two and a half inches may not seem like much but it does wonders for your confidence, which is what really matters.
Women wear high heals to improve their looks, why can’t we?
3. Forget About the Minor Bullshit and Open Your Eyes
I was in a local bar the other night when my dream girl walked in. I’ve seen her around town before and have even talked to her on a few occasions. She’s incredibly attractive and a really cool person, the whole package. I’m not sure why I never pursued her, perhaps I still have some underlying confidence issues.
Her boyfriend came into the bar that night and what I saw was a shock to my system. The boyfriend was the spitting image of myself, we could have been twins! Same height, looks, body type; the only difference between us was that he was overflowing with confidence and machismo. Shit, that could have easily been me with this amazing girl.
Sometimes we don’t realize what’s possible until we see it happen. Sometimes we are Neil…
GEORGE: Some guy. Some guy? Neil! I have got to find out how he could get a girl like Danielle.
GEORGE: So, I’m Neil? How did I do that?
JERRY: I don’t know, but you better keep it up.
GEORGE: I’m gonna go meet Danielle. There’s a new Neil in
town!
4. Flying Under The Radar
On another night, I had been hitting on a cute girl when a shorter friend of mine (5’2″) swooped in and stole her out from under my nose. He took her home that night before I had even realized what happened. Ironically, I had swooped in and stole her away from a six foot tall giant earlier in the night.
The shorter the guy, the easier it is to fly under the radar.
5. Short and Athletic Trumps Tall, Fat and Frumpy
Another time, I observed a short but athletic guy come into the bar with his girlfriend. He couldn’t have been more than 5’3, yet he was built like a bulldog. She towered over him by about six inches and could have easily been a model for the Suicide Girls.
Later, I asked him how he got such an attractive girlfriend and his response:
“You gotta hit the gym man; take care of your body and the girls will take care of you.”
6. The Average Woman is Shorter Than the Average Man
It’s true that women tend to be attracted to taller men. Here’s the thing, taller doesn’t always mean six feet, it’s more of a relative term compared to the woman.
It’s also true that women on average are shorter than men on average. This means that it’s highly likely there is a whole population of cute shorter women waiting for you.
As short as you are, you will always be taller relative to your shorter female counterparts.
7. Life Is Not Fair, Deal With It
Just because you get dealt a bad hand in the gene pool doesn’t mean you can fold your cards and wait for the next hand. There is no next hand. You can only work with the cards you’ve been dealt . Yes, you’ll have to work harder, but so what, what else could you possibly do?
If there are any short men out there who have had a lot of success in the dating game, please share your stories.
If there are any tall women who date or are in a relationship with a short man, please let us know what attracted you to him.
Good post.
I’ve had at least two girls who are like five two express their preference for only dating men five ten or taller. Wow. So they’ll only date guys EIGHT inches taller than men or more? That’s absurd.
Anyway, I’ve figured out via trial and error that seven or eight inches is actually what a lot of girls look for height-differential-wise. You’re tall enough she can rest ther head on your shoulder and you can throw her around during sex, but the height difference doesn’t look weird.
So since I’m five seven, I usually aim at girls around five feet or so. I’ve had great success with this demographic, enough percentile-wise to make me think that height is a HUGE factor for girls, at least early on, and that you almost need to be a certain amount taller than her. I’m not saying it’s the alpha and omega, but all the girls who’ve been very physically attracted to me have been at least six or seven inches shorter. I don’t believe this is a coincidence.
However, I’m not complaining at all, because I enjoy very short girls as well. They have tiny, narrower vaginas on average and you can throw her around in sex. It works itself out.
Something else to remember: different countries’ populations have different average heights. When I lived in America, I wouldn’t say I was short, but I was definitely on the short side of average. After I moved to Israel, I noticed that my height here is just average. There, it was an uphill battle to attract girls of even average height. Here, my height only becomes an issue with tall girls.
If you’re short and an American, it doesn’t mean you have to be that way forever.
@Orin,
The eight inch differential sounds about right but that’s if you didn’t factor in other qualities. For instance, I think men with tight game and confidence can narrow that difference considerably. Most of the girls I’ve dated/hooked up with have mostly been within a couple of inches either way.
@Genius
Good point about different height averages in different countries. I actually got the numbers for my chart above from the following wikipedia page on average height around the world .
Clearly the best countries to be a short male is in the Asian or South American countries.
At 5’10″, I really can’t blame any of my game deficiencies on my height, but I can tell you that even at my height the grass is always greener. I know girls who follow the Rule of 6: they only date men who have a 6-pack, make 6 figures, and are over 6 feet tall. Many girls I’ve talked to, when asked what they look for in a guy, physically, say they want a tall guy first and foremost. If you go on match. com, you’ll see a lot of girls put up a height minimum at 5’9 or 5’10. Some of the taller and hotter girls require 6′. I think with online dating though, height become more important because A) you don’t have much info to go off of and B) everybody lies about their height online.
More attractive girls tend to be pickier about height, but then again, they’re pickier about everything (they can afford to be). But in addition to having more options, I have a theory as to why hotter girls may have more of a NEED for a taller guy. Its because they get more attention from men – both positive AND negative. So hotter girls have more of a need to feel protected than an uglier girl and this might be part of the reason why they prioritize height. Just a thought.
Another thing to remember is that a lot of height is psychological. Fitness, proportions and clothes can really alter how tall or short you appear. And attitude. It blew my mind when I found out Jim Carrey is is 6’2 because his persona is that of a dweeby nebbish. Likewise, I was surprised to hear that Brad Pitt is only average height – I think it’s because of his lean frame and leading man persona that I assumed him to be taller (he’s also a notorious lift-wearer).
Ya know, I used to be one of those girls hung up on height (I blame bad prom pics!) but a recent guy flipped that.
We’re both 5’7 but I tend to always wear heels (2 to 3 inch min) so he usually looks shorter than me, but like you said, his confidence made up for the height and made me open to a guy I would normally reject. I was worried about being able to be picked up and such, but he keeps his body in great shape so it was never an issue.
So, I guess what I’m saying is… Go for it guys! Matt hit it on the head when he said confidence and good body type are key!
Excellent post. I just stumbled across your blog by chance while reading another one – I saw the title and had to come by.
I am 5’2″ tall. I have never had any issues with my height at all, I couldn’t care less about it actually. I’ve never felt like I HAD to date tall men, but it seems that a lot of tall men were attracted to me, so it just happened that way. I never gave height that much thought until I was with a man for a very long time who was 6’4″ tall. To be quite honest, it was annoying after a while. He couldn’t fly comfortably on a plane (even in Economy Plus with extra legroom, it wasn’t enough – and we paid extra for it), he had to lay a specific way on the king size bed or his feet would hang off the end, finding jeans that were long enough was nearly impossible, he hit his head a countless number of times on a hanging light fixture in our home…along with him being tall he had the biggest freaking feet in the world (LOL) size 14 – and we had to pay outrageous amounts for shoes. The whole “fun” factor of him being tall wore off rather quickly… especially when the first thing everyone said about pictures of us was always “wow he’s tall!” Really? I hadn’t noticed that, thanks for pointing it out.
Before I was with him, I did date a couple of men who were shorter. they ranged from 5’5″ to 5’9″ or so and then the rest were 6′ and over. The couple of men I did date who were on the shorter side really turned me off with the whole angry complex they had about their height. I’m not a man so I didn’t understand it, but your analogy about it being like women who are overweight makes sense. I tried my best to reassure them that height was never an issue and I hate wearing heels anyway, so I was always shorter than them… but it did nothing for them. I have to agree that confidence does go a very long way, especially with me. Confidence is sexy at any height.
On the flip side of this argument, I have 2 friends who are ridiculously hung-up on height. One is 5’9″ and the other is 5’7″ and they are forever saying “he’s cute, but he’s too short” and I feel offended for the guy. They are disqualifying him strictly based on looks. (I’m always willing to give him a chance though. so it’s good for me!) I want to look at them sometimes and say “how would you feel if a man disqualified you because you’ve got a fat ass? Wouldn’t make you feel good, now would it?” They started in with calling me short and I gave them both the royal smackdown about it. I’m not going to listen to it. In fact, they anger me quite a bit acting like that… they’re the reason that short people have a complex about their height (or lack thereof) in the first place.
So, anyway…. I wanted to come by and post a comment and tell you I can relate. There ARE single women out there who won’t disqualify you based on height alone and you just have to find the right ones.
I am back in the dating pool now and I have to admit, I’d much rather have a shorter man than another tall pain in the ass who complains about his height too much! Also, may I just say… we’re all the same height in bed… so keep that in mind next time someone tries to complain about it
@ Orin…generally I find that short women don’t like dating short guys. Women not only consider the physical appearance of their boyfriend in an isolated context…they look at how the boyfriend and she will appear together, as a public team.
One short girl has told me that she doesn’t want to make a “short scene” in public with her equally short boyfriend. A tall man will compensate for her physical conspicuousness and deflect undue attention.
Im 5-6 asian american and have had beautiful woman as tall as 6 ft and as small as 5-2. It is true that most “hot” tall leggy women will not “see” me in a social gathering unless i stand out confidently in personality and looks. I have always made up for my height thru the sexual confidence Ive attained by utilizing my past experience with taller “out of my league” women.
Believe me there a plenty tall hotties with low self esteem, drunk, vulnerable, and sexually cavalier appetites for a short guy to hit! Been “sweeping up” taller babes all the time! You just have to make them feel small and special.
Hello Modern Savage-I’m 5’7-I an relate:
However I did have some good game the past few days.
For those in the know-one of the toughest places to game is a nude beach…
I just came hear to relax. About a dozen guys were surrounding the three hotties with their tops off. I wasn’t looking to sarge so I headed away from that little scene.
Outta nowhere a knockout blond came off the trail. I’m standing ankle deep in water buck naked. She looks my way and smiles. She keeps headin’ north. Well, she gave me a go signal and I’m on full game mode now. I wait a few moments and nonchalantly walk north past where she has gone into the water. I head back, she is wearing a blue bikini and exiting the water.
I say, “it’s nice hear, isn’t it.”
She answers back “yes.”
I catch an accent and ask where she’s from after we exchange names. She is Swiss and her name is Sahara. She is studying English in downtown sd. The chat is nice, goin’ a little slower than I’d like but the eye contact is good. She asks me about why I’m naked. The convo is going in a more amourous direction. I tell her it feels nice–and ask if she isn’t because she is shy. She says some things are private, then looks right at my privates and smiles again.
The sexual tension is imense. I’ve worked on my inner game and fully accepted my sexuality. A lesser man would be embarrassed. My body reacts in the most honest way. I sport a huge erection. She seems surprised. She says she’s going back to the coast. I don’t pursue…
I’m so hard it hurts. A lesser man would find a private spot and rubb one out. I let the cool water calm my engourged member down.
Later on, I catch up to her as we are walking up the trail. I smile and ask if she was embarassed by what happened. She giggles an says it’s okay. She heads towards the bus stop. I offer her a ride. She is a bit hesitant but accepts. We head downtown. I drop her off and jokingly say that she should buy me a coffee. She says howabout diner. We go to a nearby burrito shop. She has seen me naked and haven’t seen her yet. A lesser man might feel slighted by this imbalance in power but I use it to my advantage. I say, “You’ve seen me naked, you’ve seen an intimate side of me now tell me one of your secrets.”
Eye contact has been good at this point, but nothing physical yet. I am respecting her physical boundaries and letting her build trust. At this point I gently grab her hands and look into her eyes. She looks away but doesn’t pull away. She looks back and giggles.
“What is it?”
“I’m…..how do you say, virgin….”
“Really. ”
“I’ve seen boys before but never, how do you say aroused…”
“How did it make you feel”
“It was beautiful” she states…
We finish our meal and she says she has got to get going.
I tell her that we should see each other again. I forge ahead a step further than most PUA’s as I don’t even have her digits. This is not a normal pickup as she has already seen me naked but I haven’t even kissed her yet. I know this move could get me shut out, but better to be shut out than play games that go nowhere. She gets the hint and pulls her phone from her purse. I enter my number into her phone and call my phone so I have her number in my phone.
We gently hug.
I get a call from her the next day. There’s a party and she wants me to come along. It’s a Thursday night. Those Europeans can drink and she is already buzzed. Unlike most PUA’s my best game is stone cold sober. I have about two drinks. She tells how we met to two beautiful french girls. They laugh and their body language is very flirtatious… The night is moving slowly for me. I met alott of different people from brazil, russia, spain…. I walk here back to her apt. She sloppily kisses me. We make a date for tommorrow.
Next day I take her to a movie. I’ve got a hook up so I don’t have to pay for tickets. We cuddly up. The physical contact is good. We wind up making out. She pushes my hands away when I touch her breasts–shut down. I’ll have to take things slower than I like. I walk her back to her apt. She says she would like to go back to the beach.
On Sat. we walk down the trail. We find a section that is mostly couples and mostly older. We set up I strip off all my clothes. Most the men are naked. Some of the women are fully covered, some topless and only a few are naked. Sahara stays in her bikini. We go into the water. We get back to our towels and lay down. I offer a massage and she accepts. I undo her bikini top. After the massage she lays down with her top undone for an hour. I say we should walk up the coast. he starts to put on her top. I tell her not to be shy and go topless.
She covers her breasts with her arm and I hold her other hand. We walk down the coast. As she is getting more relaxed her arm drops. Two drooling surfer guys walk past and stare. She gets a bit self concious and covers up. We walk back to the towels. I tell her that the sensation of being in the water naked is awesome. She tells me to look away. When? I look back, she is totally naked. I say now we’ve both seen each other. We run to the water and splash each other. WE head back to the trail and I drive her top her place. She invites me in. She says she is going to shower and invites me to join her. I fianaly get to feel her pert b cups. We kiss fevershly. She looks at my engourged member with hungry eyes. Iguide her hands to my penis. She is hestiant at first I stroke myself a few times then she begins stroking. She is amazed when she sees me ejaculate against the shower wall. We talk afterwards and she says she has no plans to lose her virginity.
Any plans on how to make this happen is appreciated.
Sun. - was not able to see her due to obligations.
Hope to be the one she loses her virginity to.
This sounds… how do you say… apocryphal.
Thought I would stick with the Infinite Jest theme…and be the mangled and demented one. )
Anyway, something that has occurred to me before about dealing with height insecurity is age/status, probably because I’m still young, 21, and although quite capable of building a great future, currently broke and limited by that. I’m 5’4” for the record,
with big hair that gives me an extra inch — but the truth is I could easily still pass for an 18 year-old.
Up until college, I did really well with girls, I think partly on the strength of my personality/character and partly because I’m lucky enough to at least be handsome, but college was a huge drop off. I was respected by nearly everyone knew, had plenty of female friends, but always kind of “shrunk” in the face of my own personal problem: assuming all girls either dismissed me or could read my acquired insecurity like a book. I’ve recalled that people were shockingly more mature about finding a partner in high school than they are in college, because the thrill and novelty of being an ‘adult’ drives you into situations (bars, strangers’ parties, foreign countries) that do more to assimilate or expel you than define you.
But what I want to say is: it’s amazing how a person can be intelligent and confident in so many ways and yet fail when it comes to believing that they are desirable as a composite, fully fledged human being. I don’t know why I became hyper-conscious of my height when I did…possibly because a man’s bones fuse at my age and the idea of being at my final height is chilling. I mean, to be Old and Short: is that not the brutally terse self-image plaguing this ubiquitous middle-aged short man who feels indiscriminitely written off in so many hurtful ways that it’s best, or easiest, to just ignore it without ever accepting it for what it is? To skulk?
Now, I can speculate because I’m young and I retain my boyishness – which has its charms – for the time being. But then I think this is the kind of speculation that dooms us to become this haunted person and have to dig ourselves out after some damage has already been done. It’s too easy to get so self-involved in the working out of all kinds of scenarios and explanations for rejection and failure – past, present, future – that we lose the ability to be the least bit unassuming about things we actually know cannot just be assumed. My point isn’t to be overly cheery and say that a lot of things aren’t shallow and predictable – that our culture isn’t dismally comforting and numbing in its conventions – but on the other hand, if we can think of ourselves as, you know, fundamentally something other than a f*cking measurement or an object of opinion, then we might be more inclined to believe in ourselves. Too many people also do really, obnoxiously well to justify rotting in contempt.
Whoa. Well I guess I’ll just close with a paraphrase of Seinfeld’s line to George in the reunion episode on Curb: he basically says there are people to be met all over the place – on the bus, at the store, now online, wherever – and yet somehow all these people seem so self-absorbed and self-important that it’s impossible to ever make contact with them. Because, he says, strangers have a bad reputation. That’s funny, but I disagree. There’s no contact because we are what we rotely infer in others.
I’m very late to the party here. But I really need to share this one.
Back in college there was this beautiful, frighteningly sexy hippie chick everyone wanted. She would play frisbee in a bikini top and cause the entire campus Quad to hold their collective breath. And she had a boyfriend who was a super cool musician, who was way better looking than me. I was around 5’2″ and a freshman then and didn’t think I had a chance. Plus she was older. But I contrived a way to meet her, and over two months won her over, just as the end of the school year came to a close and we left the dorms.
After being home from school for a week, I received a letter from her. She told me she’d broken up with her boyfriend. Then she invited me to visit her — she lived probably 50 miles away. AND she contined to write me letters after this.
I never took her up on this offer. Why? Because I had an idiotic father telling me no one would ever like me because of my height (I was short because of meds I was on as a kid and this was a huge deal to him). So I totally lacked confidence and bowed out of the would-be relationship by simply no longer responding to her.
Two decades passed. I contacted her on Facebook. She was not happy to hear from me. From what I gather, she took this rejection hard. Twenty years later, she’s still angry with me for what she perceived was disinterest but was really fear of rejection, ultimately.
I don’t think I need to spell out the moral here. And I’ll add that this is but one of dozens of similar stories of mine, all revolving around lack of self-0confidence. All you younger short guys should take heed.
Days of Broken Arrows;
That is the most tragic thing I have ever read. But perhaps your horrible story serves a purpose in educating others in some twisted way. It certainly opened my eyes.
Self confidence is our battle that we must continually fight, and so many things come in-between our self-acceptance. From height, to being called names, and becoming skeptical of our own value as a person.
Ouch. This topic is a toughie. I always catch myself mentioning “tall” as a good thing when giving clothing advice to/in front of shorter male friends or describing an attractive man. However, I can definitely support the you’re-short-but-she’s-shorter solution – I’m 5’3″ and I’ve dated guys who were 5’8″ and 5’9″ (the 5’9″ guy was a certified hottie in my opinion too)… I never felt like they were short because I was 5-6 inches shorter – but I do enjoy my heels. I’ve got to say that sans heels, I loved it because it looked “right” when we took pictures together. (It’s a bit awkward for me to take photos with my 6′ husband now – I always feel like standing on a box.) What can I say? These are the types of things women think about… so take a picture with her early
Cailin
And you gals call us guys shallow….It “looks right”? Thats like saying to a small breasted female…”sorry honey you just do not look like a real woman, real women have bigger breasts” if a guy said that he would be crucified as being a pig, orge and all…I appreciate your honesty but women like you are downright awful shallow human beings…what if you had a child that was a cripple or was born without a limb or two, would you look at that child as not being a “whole” person? down right awful…
Er…I didn’t say anything about taller men (please remember, in the sentence you’re referring to I was noting a positive of dating a shorter man) not looking like a “real” or “whole” man… I think you’re taking my comment a wee bit too seriously. How does the fact that I enjoyed being able to see both mine and my boyfriend’s head in a photograph at the same time have anything to do with how I’d feel about a “cripple” (by the way, nice PC term there buddy) child? If that makes me a “downright shallow awful human being”, so be it – but I think it’s much more shallow to instantly relate a woman’s opinion (on why dating a short man is actually nicer at times, no less) to your gender-divided agenda and put her down with little tact (or basis, for that matter).
Short girls demand tall guys. Tall girls prefer, but usually demand the same. I often wonder what’s more important in a mate because it seems that women place higher value on the practicality of their high heels. Short guys often don’t fit into the relationship equation with women because the shoes have the final say. It’s sad, but it’s so true. The only time a man’s height doesn’t matter to women is in the extremely rares cases when she doesn’t require him to be X amount of inches taller than her.
Too bad for Days of Broken Arrows. He must’ve found one of those rare tall girls who places no importance on a man’s height. Guy should have found the guts to ask her out, but in a sense I don’t blame him for not pursuing her more dilligently. Tall women can be very cruel, if not vicious in their treatment of shorter guys. For every tall girl that politely rejects a shorter guy saying “thank you, but I’m involved with someone,” truth or lies be told, there’s ten other tall girls that will laugh in your face or humiliate you for even trying. Nothing shatters a short man’s confidence quicker than a tall chick with height issues who goes out of her way to make the shorter guy feel like absolute crap just because he asked her for a date.
Tall girl must have really fell hard for DOBA considering she’s still mad at him after all those years. DOBA not giving her “a chance,” and subsequently avoiding correspondence is no different than the hords of women who don’t give short guys the same opportunity and excommunicate them in the process. Harsh reality, but as a 5’5 guy, this is nothing new to me and I can’t sympathize. Women may think they’re letting a guy down easy by avoiding his phone calls and deleting his emails without explanation. Nothing could be further from the truth. I’d rather a girl be straight up and tell me that it couldn’t work. I guess it’s a safe bet that the tall girl now understands a microcosm of the BS that short guys go through.
DOBA, don’t blame your dad. He was trying to save you, the short guy from the embarrassment and ridicule that goes with approaching the taller ladies. Not all of them are evil but it does take confidence to approach any woman. Don’t let it happen again, talk to as many ladies as possible and learn to accept and deal with rejection.
I know I’m one in a million, but I love short guys. I’m 5’7, and I will look at a guy over my height…
Kevin Connolly did get Emanuelle Chriqui… my only advice, don’t be an asshole trying to compensate for your height. That’s a complete turnoff, but the confidence (despite being ‘short’) is the sexiest thing in a man.
i’m 5’5″ and skinny. i try to workout and eat more but haven’t grown much muscle. i only deadlift about 400, squat 300 and bench about 240 for maxes. ofcourse i try to add volume. i’m in my late 20s and have gone from 135 lbs to 155 lbs, but some of it is fat. how can i grow more muscle to be a bulldog? i have more of an athletic build where before i was slim and cut. all this hard work and little benefit. help..
@tim ,
I’m a skinny guy too and also have a tough time bulking up, though to be honest I haven’t really tried much. I’ve been reading Tim Ferriss’ new book, The Four Body, and he seems to have some pretty good techniques for bulking which includes some vigorous kettle bell workouts. Could be worth checking out.
I’m 5’5″ and understand that most women tend to care more about wearing heels than their potential future husband/boyfriend. Part of it I just don’t get the “i can’t wear heels”.
Firstly, shorter men don’t emit a force field that prevent women from putting on heels (this is true in 100% of cases)
Secondly, shorter men don’t care if a girl is taller (this is true of me)
Thirdly, people matter more than footwear (or at least humans should matter more than footwear)
However the media is partly to blame for this. The way short men are portrayed in movies and TV shows. Heck when people think of “short” actors they commonly mention Tom Cruise who at 5’7.5″ is only tad bit below the mean height men. Not a true short actor like Michael J. Fox at 5’4″. I remember there was a debate over Daniel Craig as the new James Bond a few years back because he was “only” 5’10″
Also the entire “short man syndrome” thing is completely bullshit. I’ve been told that I am successful in school because I am “compensating for my height”. So if I have a high GPA I’m compensating and if I have a low GPA I’m a stupid/idiotic short guy? It is also a label that seems to be arbitrarily attached to shorter men who act identically to taller men.
I guess one positive is that being short weeds out >99% superficial, shallow women. However it also serves as a primary elimination factor for the vast majority of women.
Yeah, height matters to women, but so does confidence, as much, if not more so, I would say.
Regardless of how tall you are, never let it make yourself feel insignificant, less worthy or less capable than guys who are taller. And if a certain girl isn’t interested in you because she thinks you’re short, then so what, there are plenty of fish in the sea.
Really, I think short guys have it much easier than ugly women. We can compensate with personality, confidence, money etc. very ugly girls can’t really.
Oh, and I’m 5″7.
Hey Matt, great of you to write about this subject. Letting us know the obstacles you’ve overcome gives you good credibility. I’m 5’6″ by the way.
Dude, your money with these articles. I got hooked to your blog after going on Google looking up “how beatin’ it can affect your mood around girls”. Your blog came up on “Male affects of masturbation on attracting females” or whatever its called and I couldn’t get over how right on you were/are.
I’m about 5’7 – 5’8 and have never had a problem with girls, in fact I have a problem with too many girls (too many GRENADES!).
This brings me to why I’m writing you! I would and Im sure others would also love you to write a article on “how and why a guys mood can change if he’s talking to a new smoking hot girl and how to deal with it. My problem is I’m not my self around them, but when it comes to not so hot girls I pull the rip cord off grenade with no hesitation. WHY IS THIS. Honestly, I’m sick of waking up with these fatty’s in my bed, I’m too small and too good looking for this nonsense! It’s not that I cant pull hotties, because I have and can, but I think my problem is that I throw all my cards in too early and go with the easy, not so hot chick, almost all the time because its….easy. Anyways, I would love you to blog on this, THANKS!!
As a girl who’s 6’1, I love this article. Once I got it into my head that not every guy I dated had to be taller than me, suddenly I was going out on a *lot* more dates. Guys have a problem with height just as much as girls — I get “giraffe,” “amazon”, and “Xena” all the time.
What frustrates me with going out with shorter guys is their lack of confidence. I own six pairs of 3″ heels — I couldn’t wear them for years because my dates didn’t want to feel short. And everything came back to the height issue. It couldn’t be that I’m neurotic, or that they never paid for dinner, or that there just wasn’t a spark that meant we didn’t go out on a third date. Nope, everything boiled down to the height disparity.
For the record, I don’t care about what height a guy is. If he has the confidence to approach me when I’m rocking my “attack of the 60 foot tall woman” pumps, he deserves a date. And if you need an example of a short man with confidence, check out Peter Dinklage as Tyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones. That man is the hottest actor in the series for sheer attitude, as far as I’m concerned.
Hi Cassie, question for you.
How long did it take you to get it into your head that a guys height shouldn’t be the here all and end of a relationship? It’s not as if 6 feet guys grow on trees right? Were you strictly a “no men shorter than me allowed/my man must be at least 6 feet ” girl? Confidence is definitely important but I think the issue has more to do with women because very few ladies measure confidence equally between short and tall guys. Tall guys are supposed to have confidence but more often get a free pass because they are tall. Girls may like tall guys even if they come across as wimps. Short guys have to work harder for everything in life and are often unfairly stamped with negative labels based on our size. I’m not an aggressive Napoleanic guy with short man syndrome, but I will admit to avoiding the taller girls sometimes because my confidence has been misconstrued by as an excuse to call me over-aggressive and annoying. It’s almost as if I’m wrong for even trying to talk to a girl your height no matter how polite or respectful I am to you. Hate to say it, but girls your size rarely open themselves up to short guys anyways. A lot of you hate it when we try to make conversation and are quick to pass us off as creeps with creepier fetishes. That’s what bothers me the most about tall women even though I do find them attractive. So with that being said, kudos to you if you are different and don’t mind short guys approaching you. I certainly would, and the heels would never, ever be an issue.
Sonny,
You make a good point there, but I think that you’re also using a pretty broad brush. I rarely opened up to anyone in high school or college when I went out, simply because guys who were shorter than me had a habit of making me feel bad about how tall I was. In response, I would say that people are quick to pass off tall girls as aggressive sporty types who wouldn’t deign to have a drink bought for them. I can tell you it’s not true. I want to be the fairytale princess as bad as any girl who’s 5’5, but the truth is that men don’t approach me in the same way.
The reason I’m with my current boyfriend is that he opened doors for me, pulled my chair out, and refused to let me pay for my own drinks. He makes me feel feminine, and height isn’t a part of that. Height assumptions run both ways — don’t assume that all tall women are domineering, aggressive ice princesses. I don’t assume that all short men have napoleon complexes and hairy feet.
To answer your question, it took me a couple of years into college. My first boyfriend was 6’7 and an asshole. Rude, expected me to pay for everything, and emotionally and sexually selfish. Once we broke up, I realized that the only standard I had had was “Tall. Taller than me.” Once I changed my standards to “smart, funny, kind, and playful.” and knocked “Tall” out of the list, I found a lot more men who were a lot better — and a lot better for me.
I’m 5’6 I always go by the 6 rule. Must be able to stand 6 hours with my friends, must know 6 good jokes, must get his socks in the laundry basket 6 out of 7 days. As for a guys height..I dated a guy who was 6’3 and was the smallest man I knew..Current boyfriend is 5’6 and larger than life :-)))))
Wow If only I was 5’6 or even 5’4.
Im 5’2 and it is horrible in everyway. I thought I read the blog to make me feel better but it has made me feel worse.
I am a good looking bloke and has always been in a relationship, but they have never lasted. like they are not happy with what they got. My last relationship was for 7 years and I had a child with her who now is 5. She was a model and was 5’10 and bloody gorgeous, an English rose they say.
Now I am single again and going out I have realized how strangely the opposite sex looks at me.
I get looked at as abnormal or laughed at and it is very difficult for me to pull. I feel like a fucking idiot on the dance floor. “Look at that midget”, some people say.
I do pull, most the time as I am very good looking and confident.
So people put yourself in my shoes. I consider personally, anybody man who is 5’4 and above normal looking in the public eye, imagine being my size, you should have no problem what so ever with the women.
If only .
When asked a lot of girls will say they like tall guys. But this is when asked. People are notorious for not understanding what they actually want. Even when asked things like what do they shop for. Sex is going to be even more inaccurate than common things.
What matters is what they do ‘in the wild’. I think most of the time other factors such as confidence, charm, whit, etc are far more important.
Would any of you guys go out with a girl with a fat ass, big lips but small boobies? These hypothetical questions are stupid. You can’t judge going out with someone based on height alone, if you can than you have no standards. Even what April said, if shes hot then shes hot, but you guys must start to screen for the personality types you get along with.
I constantly refer to Tom Cruise as a universal example of shortness not being a factor. Every female movie-star he`s been with has been taller than him.
Does it mean girls don`t like tall guys? No. but it does mean that how you handle yourself is what REALLY matters to a girl.
Comparing height and weight is apples and oranges.
1. Women don’t want overweight men either. What woman wants to date a man who has enough fat around the midsection to make up a small child?
2. Weight can change, height can not. Weight is an indication of how one has been taking care of themselves, height is not. No matter how poorly someone eats in adulthood they will never be shorter or taller, but their weight will change.
Stick with proper comparisons.
Okay, so not all girls like shorter guys and women in general are way to into height. There are some women who like shorter guys. For example I love and prefer shorter guys! I feel just wrong dating anyone over 6’0 and I’m 5’10! No offense to taller guys but shorter guys are generally sweeter and funnier than their taller counterparts. My ideal height for a guy would be 5’6 or 5’7 but I’d go down to 5’4. Other women can go ahead and be silly about not dating anyone under 6’0 I guess it just leaves more for me
Hi Nola!
Awesome post, thank you very much! The world would be a much better place for short guys if there were more women like you. Thanks for looking down! It’s still so rare for a tall woman to have an open appreciation for shorter guys. In North America, women are taught and trained to hold reservations against us, believing we are bad protectors and inferior to tall guys at everything.
I’m 5’5, and every taller girl I’ve met with the exception of one has used the height excuse against me whether it was direct or indirect. None of them were blunt or rude about it. They just figured the easy thing to do was ex-communicate me and dissappear without explanation. One girl at least had the decency to tell me straight up that my height was her problem. Despite her telling me I was a handsome guy with a nice body, it just “wouldn’t work out” in her words. I guess that was her polite way of saying “sorry dude, you’re good looking, just not tall enough for me.” Funny, I get more of this stuff from the ladies my height and shorter.
Oh well, too bad for her and more short guys for you like you say! BTW, it’s ok to spread the word and share with your tall sisters too!
I am guy 5/3.5 and pretty sexy i think what matters is your tight game. Girls give me attention all day as i work in retail going kino and shit ;P. I’m pretty new to cold “pick up” finally getting over a breakup and getting back out there. So just trying to calibrate better when I’m in clubs no girls really comment on height unless your being a real doosh bag and trying to hard like when my friend tried to accomplish intro me as he was hammered and knew a girl who was supposedly “easy” saying I was a God talking me up talking me up blah blah blah he was drunk and the girl said your height is not very godly however I said yeh I do ive got heaps of height I can touch the sky or something stupid and stacked forwarded. What works best is making anything people say about your height ridiculous and if you get a laugh it is good but the main goal is to say things like yeh i cant reach it id need a fuckin trampoline to get up there etc. My main barrier for me when talking to HBs is calibrating my routines. Remember if you absolutely know yourself and HOW you are going to react in any given scenario this is very attractive to women and all people you meet beyond measure I think. People will seek your validation. Love everyone in the world and they will return the favour. Dont take it personal what people say as this just shows that you view yourself in this light. Ive only recently discovered this as I never had a problem with my height affecting my psyche until for the first time in a while a couple ppl at work were ripping into me about being short like not being able to see over the counter and shit which is funny the guy was being a joker which he always is I wasnt really aware of this and took it totally the wrong way I should have responded with something like “yeh ill need fuckin spring shoes to see over this bitch” or something of that nature but instead didn’t say anything to encourage his humorous side. I was stressed about just moving into my new role with these people and trying to act professionally which made me look like a real spoil sport. He only just recently made a joke about my height and hes like “it took you this long to shrug off a joke about you being short haha”. So the key I’ve found is to laugh at yourself as its not you they are laughing at its your height. Flipping this scenario into a funny light or “re-framing” – credit from Neil Strauss writer of the game, is attractive to women men and really anybody who sees your ability to lead a conversation in the path you want it to go. If someone straight up says your short just say yeh I know like its the first time you’ve heard it or just reply if someones says hey shortass just say hey mate they will get over it very quickly trust me I know it took me like 6 months to figure this out the hard way by always reacting and trying to be like no i’m not short what are you blind and always reacting badly. Some people will keep saying things if they will get a reaction from you. Same with if people call you gay you can sarcastically say yeh im a raging homo clearly. It just gets awkward if they continue pestering you about it, or if you do something stupid just say yeh i left my brains at home today i think my IQ is about 10. Nobody can say anything to that and you kind of look smart for coming up with a witty retort. So encourage people when they make fun of your height and brush off people that say short-stuff etc it’s probably the best, these people are usually insecure anyway so don’t even worry they are too insecure about themselves to worry about you. If you have a good sense of humor this will get you out of any situation just make it ridiculous and you disarm yourself as the target and you can stack forward to other things. As you can see I’ve given this a lot of thought as I do with everything in life (i cant help it!) it has baffled me how only when I have made a conscious awareness of people calling me short has it been a problem. Just figure out how to deal with it and move on which I feel I have nicely. Some of my successes recently include one night stands (girls not too hot as obviously you have to start low then aim high haha). Getting the sexy hot bartenders number I was quite pleased with that. Getting cute girls numbers who have boyfriends. getting numbers does not really take you as far as you think as usually unless there is enough comfort and trust its hard to know what to say when you ring them its awkward create a time bridge – all credit to Mystery. You should read his book the mystery method I recommend it its got some great techniques for moving through the attraction stages. Talking to really beautiful girls when I’m on a roll there is not really much that can stop me and girls love the confidence and just genuinely having tight game. Your already ahead of so many guys who have their tail between their legs it says alot about you if you can just go literally up to whoever and start talking to them. I take feedback from girls by their IOIs such as as allowing kino escalation, if shes laughing etc etc. What girls openly say I am going to talk to that guy and sleep with him you have to have enough game to make it happen. Yeah sure good looking and/or tall guys may have it easier but if they have no game they can still be useless when trying to pick up women. I am a human testament that height does not matter for pickup unless you make it an issue for yourself. Count your successes and visualize these every time you feel you need some encouragement it works for me. Just go out one night and approach every girl you can see in the club if it means getting drunk do it just see that you wont get blown out because of your height you’ll get blown out for saying something very dumb or doing something stupid like grabbing a girl and trying to hook up with her off nothing. Just do it and you will rid your approach anxiety and see yourself in a world you really want to be in and can continue improving your skills by practice on all the unsuspecting poor ladies out there till your game is really tight. If you need to see some inspiration watch this clip of this champion PUA instructor he is definitely much shorter than this chick and he sets up a date to see her that night there are other videos but i liked this one. Yeah I mean I could be a complete naive fucking moron but that’s just my thoughts on this matter and seems to satisfy my overall self worth and thought I would share! Remember if your too short just get some big ass platforms like borderline stilts. Here is the video: http://www. youtube. com/watch? v=yZfLGTOyi2g&feature=related
Just wanted to throw this little gem out there for my fellow short brothers:
It is much easier for you to pick-up and date a girl of normal or taller-than-normal height. Even if she is significantly taller than you. Why?
By her very nature a woman wants to give her offspring the best genes possible (just like men want to have sex with as many women as possible). Subconsciously she will immediately reject a short male as that will guarantee her offspring will be short (even if she says otherwise).
In that last paragraph I meant to write:
Subconsciously a short woman will immediately reject a short male as that will guarantee her offspring will be short (even if she says otherwise). That is why you rarely see short women with short men.
A tall woman will not have this trigger (at least not subconsciously). Your chances with an average or tall woman is much, much better.
Two shorter people having children does not guarantee short children. My parents were both below average height (by U. S. standards at 5’1″ and 5’7″) and had a son who ended up being 6’1″. That is an ignorant statement.
Although I agree with women having this trigger as they have been socially conditioned into thinking more height means a person is more of a human and a better person.
That may be true (regarding the two short people having a tall child) but it’s irrelevant. What the woman subconciously perceives to be true is what matters — that two short people will have a short child. That is why you almost always see very short women with very tall men.
If you believe otherwise then either you are not a short man or you have a very difficult road ahead of you trying to pick up short women (as a short man).
You are right it is irrelevant (in this case it is true because I know how tall my father, mother and brother are) because reality doesn’t matter for many women when it comes to dating. Height is associated with health, taller being healthier even though there is a spectrum of issues with short men being at higher risk for heart disease and tall men being at higher risk for cancer. A short man who acts identically to a tall man is labeled as having “short man syndrome” while the tall man is lauded.
Unlike my brother I’m short, trust me I’ve heard most of it from women including the “you are half a man”, “second rate human”, etc. From my experience it’s not tall women who height matters less to but women who are average in height (5’3″-to-5’5″) with the shorter and taller side of the bell curve (5’7″) having more requirements for height with regards to dating. Taller women appear to desperately want a man taller than them so they can “feel” feminine.
I am a 5’9″ female. Men and women are always telling me I’m very attractive or beautiful, have a great body, etc. and, although flattered, due to my gawky teenage years, I am still a bit surprised at this reaction to me. I am kind, possesses good values, think for myself and am quite independent. I get asked out alot but am selective – I want a nice guy with good values, etc. I am crazy about a guy who I estimate to be about 5’4 1/2″ tops. I think he is a doll. We have tons in common and I would love to go out with him. We were working together and I know that he would not date someone he works with due to his role at the workplace. This year he is working elsewhere – actually a place I used to work – because they took his office out of my building due to room contraints (unfortunately, this move makes it difficult for me to see him very often). Although his position warrents that he be pretty damned tough, in the past he has become what I would term nervous or flustered the couple of times I casually mentioned doing something (not a date) outside of work (others in the workplace do things after work sometimes). I’m not sure how experienced he is with women – he has not dated anyone during the time I’ve known him. Despite his outward persona, he has made negative comments related to his nose or how thin he used to be. On one occasion, when we were talking in the parking lot, I noticed that he casually moved over to stand on the curb when talking to me. It did not dawn on me until afterwards that he did this. I think he is handsome and his height has never been an issue for me. I am surprised (actually a bit incredulous), however, at the short comments related to him that I have overheard in the front office from two secretaries and a (tall) male employee. I’m sure that if I have overheard comments re: his height from time to time then others must make comments that I have not heard. Are short men exposed to these types of comments regularly and how do they feel about it? Now, although my interest generally presents as stoic (due to his position, he has to), I have noticed a few occasions where he is looking at me in a way that makes me melt. He also talks to me vs. others when he has something personal he may be concerned about, etc. – e. g. he lets me into his personal life whereas he does not do that at all with anyone else at work (I also have his personal cell phone number whereas others only have his work number). My question is: although his height is not an issue for me (at all), could the fact that I am at least 4 inches taller be an issue for him??
As a short man barely taller than the guy you like I can say it is not uncommon for men in that range to hear degrading comments on any sort of regular basis. Comments like “he is half a man”, “he should have a genetic test to figure out what is wrong”, “no one would want a child like that”, “how could anyone treat a short guy like that like a man”, “women want to date a man, not a boy”, “he is compensating by being successful” are all rather common comments about short adult men. As for how to respond to such comments it is an incredibly narrow path to tread; a knifes edge. A response to harsh and he could be labeled as having “short man syndrome”, a response to tepid would just lead to more of the same mocking and belittling. It is really a terribly place to be in.
Height matters much more for women than it does for men. As a short man I have never cared about the height of any of my past girlfriends/partners. I doubt he would care if you are taller than him.
As a woman, I have a different take on this whole height issue.
Let me start by commenting on the comments.
“You’re tall enough she can rest ther head on your shoulder and you can throw her around during sex”
Why does she want you to throw her around? Sexual submissiveness as a fantasy sounds at best reasonable, but what you are describing reflects either self-esteem issues or psychological dissonance with reality. Women who want to be thrown around during sex … now that’s just weird even for rough sex.
“More attractive girls tend to be pickier about height, but then again, they’re pickier about everything”
What do they bring to your relationship? What do they contribute to society? What value do they add to the world? What entitles them to get all the privileges they seem to seek? Merely their beauty? And what happens when they get older and their beauty subsides … what reason do you have to stick with her then?
“I often wonder what’s more important in a mate because it seems that women place higher value on the practicality of their high heels. Short guys often don’t fit into the relationship equation with women because the shoes have the final say. ”
Yes, women want men to be taller, protect her, make her laugh, throw her around, etc.
In other words, she prioritizes the following over your personality – heels, what people will say about her and her husband seen together, free bodyguard, free comedian, BDSM master, etc.
Why do you men put up with this nonsense? Don’t you have more to offer than this? Dump these women and move on to the ones who deserve you.
Dating and relationships are not a one-way street. You choose the women as much as the women choose you.
Granted that women can have babies and you cannot. Besides that one limitation, you men can do everything else that women can. Don’t give away your power and your right to choose by letting only the women choose you.
“For every tall girl that politely rejects a shorter guy saying “thank you, but I’m involved with someone,” truth or lies be told, there’s ten other tall girls that will laugh in your face or humiliate you for even trying. Nothing shatters a short man’s confidence quicker than a tall chick with height issues who goes out of her way to make the shorter guy feel like absolute crap just because he asked her for a date.”
Why do you men put up with this crap?
You do all the hard work, with academics, and sports, and career, and asking women out!
Where’s men’s liberation? When are you going to stand up for yourself?
“Really, I think short guys have it much easier than ugly women. We can compensate with personality, confidence, money etc. very ugly girls can’t really.”
Not true. Every girl, ugly or not, can get a guy. Perhaps the ugly girl will not get a guy whom the media portrays as great, but she still gets a guy who loves her the way she is.
Of course, she needs to get off her ass and follow whatever it is she feels passionate about.
There’s no such thing as a perfect sweet innocent woman. The idea of feminine perfection is a myth. There is no such woman. Even your mom had sex to give birth to you. No offense implied here! You have to stop putting these women on a pedestal and stop expecting women to be fair in their selection of you .
“Taller women appear to desperately want a man taller than them so they can “feel” feminine.”
That only means that she is insecure about herself. If a woman needs a man to be taller, more masculine, etc, it means that she has low self-esteem and her entire feminine identity is relative to her man’s height and masculinity.
Hey Megan,
Thank you for taking the time to quote the quotes. Your take on this discussion is interesting and appreciated. Here’s my answer to you.
You ask us men why we put up with this crap? Simple answer. We put up with this crap because we have to, unless you want to be alone which I’ve politely accepted. WOMEN’S LIBERATION has flushed men’s feelings, desires, and status right down the crapper. Men aren’t really allowed to be men anymore without serious repercussions. In todays world, standing up for yourself and taking any slight action to defend yourself results in jail time, a job reprimand, court dates, custody battles, empty pockets, headaches and lots of frustration. A woman’s word holds a whole lot more weight than a man’s word today. If you’re a short guy like me who doesn’t take nonsense from anyone, male or female, you get branded with the short-man-syndrome disease that society deems perfectly acceptable to reference short men with ambition.
It’s so easy for you to say “dump” these women and move on to the next woman who deserves you. The next woman more often is just like the first, sometimes a little bit louder and a lot worse. In fact, there’s women who believe short men aren’t men and don’t deserve to be treated or respected as a man like those who have height. Forgive me, but I strongly believe modern women don’t want what they deserve until they actually lose what they had in the first place. How do you explain dumping someone or getting out of a relationship when so many women are the shallowest of the shallow, and don’t consider a short man for a relationship in the first place? All because he doesn’t measure up heightwise. Women covet what they see others women have, kinda like “The Silence of the Lambs.” They want the tall, good-looking trophy guy to show off to her friends who’s the furthest thing from a physical embarrassment to her by public opinion. You can’t deny that a large majority of young women base their feminity on the guy standing next to her. Sad to say but high heels still largely dictate whether a man is boyfiend, husband or father material.
Men’s Liberation doesn’t exist in this world and it never has. We’ve gone TOO POLITICALLY CORRECT as a society, closer to the point of no return. Unless you’re the typical tall, dark and handsome that practically all women desire there’s not much room for the shorter guy in todays world. Every once in a while a woman comes along who’s a reformed heightist or victim of bad relationships. These are the ladies who speak very loudly against what she thinks is the short guy “self pity.” She might even cry out that she likes short guys and is sick of taking the grief from short men who’ve been mistreated by other women. Either way, if your a man with tons of money, that gets you a free pass regardless of your height, as long as your income is consistent. There’s always the risk of the short guy being used and abused for that purpose alone. I don’t find it surprising that women keep the guy with the most money in her back pocket and cheat on him with the guy her heart desires. I’ve seen it happen in enough relationships as a third party friend and a victim. This somewhat correlates to the high divorce rate, but there’s always two sides to the story.
You mentioned sports and academics? Sorry to say that this does not apply and only matters to the man who takes the initiative to keep himself steadfast in atheletics and education without needing to impress women. A lot of women say they want a good, fit man, who’s smart, goal-orientated and has a strong sense of character. Women also say that sense of humour and good manners is important. Again, none of this matters if you don’t have the height to go with the rest of the package. Women don’t allow themselves to see past the physical and into the emotional side of a man unless he measures up to her height standards. One more thing, you are right by saying we men do the choosing too. What’s misunderstood is the choices we make get thrown back in our faces via harsh rejection and insults. For me it’s almost to the point where I don’t make choices in women anymore. I do choose to smile, be polite and courteous, well spoken and well read. Women can’t understand the nature this when they see my height first and nothing else.
So in conclusion, I’m still a good man that would love to meet a good woman who will see me for me and accept my height as ME. What I don’t do now is make a priority to include women in my life. Can’t escape them anyway LOL. Women’s Liberation has done enough to disclude me from theirs so I don’t go out of my way to be accomodating for them. Women of senior citizen age still have manners and are thankful and respectful when a kind man like me helps them out in their daily lives. I’ll still offer my seat on the subway to a pregnant woman without hesitation and help her up and down the stairs with her stroller. That’s just being proactive, having common sense and being a good man in general. Speaking of seniors, maybe when looks fade, old age approaches and women cease to base their lives on the standards of Hollywood living, I just might take the time as an old man and try to get to know a good old woman. When you reach the senior citizen age, looks don’t matter as much, but trust, happiness and companionship does.
I’m 5’4″ and 29 years old. And very torn on this issue. I have always been a pretty popular guy (blessed with lots of great family and friends) and very outspoken and consider myself an extrovert. This has allowed me to meet many attractive women and develop social skills that allow me to communicate well with them.
The reason I am torn. In highschool, I got asked by the hottest girl in school (whatever that means) to prom, in college I would “befriend” many very attractive girls. Even recently I had a very attractive recent college graduate calling me, texting and so on. Therefore I do not believe that you cannot meet very attractive women while being short. The problem is that is very easy for women in general to put short men like myself in the friend zone or even hookup but not want to date.
Now I look at it two ways and this is what drives me nutts. Is it me who lets this happen based on the fact that I am too shy to make a move because I think I am too short? Am I getting denied because they sense this lack of confidence or is it really just because I am too short?
It’s actually really sad because I have had a lot in common with these women and I do think at a certain level we have loved each other but it seems to fall apart either because of my deep self loathing for being short or sometimes because of being short.
I guess the “torn” part is that is sometimes the woman being superficial but also I must take some of the blame.
It really sucks because my relationship with my family is great, I am about to receive my MBA from a top school, I make good money at a great job, I have my health as does my family, and I have a large great group of friends. However, I do find myself very depressed because of the fact that I feel unlovable because of my height. Quite sad and pathetic but it is what it is.
Ask anyone who is short and they will tell you that it is not the greatest thing in the world. I do not think it has any effect on life except when it comes to women (and sports) but only because we (short me
I’m a 5’7 (170cm) young woman. Everyone in my family is tall and athletic. All the men are 6’2 about, the women are 5’6-5’9. I have never even thought about height. But it seems normal for me to date and marry a man who is 6’2, as this is what I grew up seeing with my male relatives. It is natural and expected. Also I would feel weird introducing a boyfriend who is like 5’5 to my family, it would be like a joke to them….
I left for college and met all these short guys (who werent even taller than me) it just felt awkward.
Short people come from short families. So they should want to continue their legacy with other short people.
So perhaps a reason taller women don’t want to date shorter men is because they grew up with tall fathers and brothers and they want to continue their family heritage.
Okay well I’ll chime in as a 5’10 woman who was involved with a guy who was 5’6 and is now dating one who is 5’8. I have frequently been attracted to a certain ‘type’ of guy–kinda stylish, fine facial features, often erroneously assumed to be gay due to their slightness and good fashion sense, and often these guys are shorter than me. I was incredibly attracted to the aforementioned 5’6 guy and it honestly never occurred to me that he would be so insecure about his height until he kept bringing it up, making jokes about how I should slouch more, not wear such tall shoes, not wanting to be photographed with me, etc. It actually made *me* insecure about being *taller* than average. But I was more physically attracted to him than probably anyone else I’ve ever been with…it was just a deep insecurity on his part that it, in turn, made me uncomfortable with my own body. I’m 6’1 in heels and I when I wear them, most guys are too intimidated to approach me. My body type may be fairly close to some model-ish ideal, but here’s a secret: tall women are often more insecure than women of average height because people admire them from a distance. The guy I’m dating now is mostly great but he still acts like he wishes I were a few inches shorter, and it makes me sad. It’s like he won’t believe that his height doesn’t matter at all to me and I think he’s adorable. Or maybe that’s the problem, he wants to be seen as masculine and if it came down to it, I could probably pin him But it seems like a stupid reason for a relationship to not work out, and to all you shorter guys out there reading this, it’s true that 5’10 blonde model types may be attracted to you. Please allow yourself to believe it and don’t constantly act like her height is a big deal.
The grass is always greener on the other side. I am 5’11″, but I have a fetish for girls taller than me. I’ve only once banged a girl who was taller than me. She was older by a decade, but because she was taller, i found her irresistible. The sex was sensational. My dick would get so hard, it would hurt. I thought that motherfucker would break. I so got off on her height that I ignored everything else. A few tall girls I dated, i tried to get them to wear 5′-6′ so she could tower over me while we went out. I also had sex with them while they were in heels. You are spot on when you say that a girl’s preference for a tall guy goes right out the window if you ooze with confidence. In my case it’s not confidence I ooze with as much as lust/horniness. When I see a girl taller than me, I literally cream my pants. My point is that I am so horny when I see a tall girl, that I am absolutely fearless. My horniness does not permit me to feel fear. It is so intense that it keeps me in the moment. Basically I am like the drunk guy full of liquid courage, except that I am full of semen in my arteries, metaphorically speaking. The only problem is there aren’t all that many girls taller than 5’11″. Sometimes I wish I were 5’2″ or something. That way I’d do so many girls who were taller than me and indulge my fetish to the max. I’ve done one taller girl and several who were taller with heels on. I have no doubt I’d get a lot of 5’4″ girls if I were 5’2″. The point of my comment is that grass is always greener on the other side. Who knows if I was really 5’2″, I’d probably be full of hard luck stories, while now I am bitching wanting to be shorter. You see?
Saying the “grass is greener on the other side” is a joke. There is no benefit to being a short adult man in the United States; respect, women, salary, etc
I’m 5′ 7″ and I’m getting killed on online dating sites. I’ve done some modeling (a gay “nude art” photographer) and am built like a short Hugh Jackman. I have a doctorate in English (which may actually be the dealbreaker) and I have money. I wear a Rolex. Also, I dress well. I wear tailor fit designer clothing. However, online dating is a bust. All the hot girls want guys who are seven to nine inches taller.
At bars, women smile at me and even approach WHEN I’M SEATED or standing at a distance, but when I’m standing near them, they don’t seem as interested. Here, in NYC, a woman who was 5′ 11″ walked past me today and gave me a look of disdain.
I feel like I could date pretty much any guy over 25 at my gym, but that’s because gay men care more about washboard abs and pecs than height.
In the past, women have been really into me (I look a lot like Tom Cruise), but they were all 5′ 4″ or shorter (some very hot), and when and where I grew up (Boston in the 70′s-90′s), nobody wore heels. Height wasn’t really much of an issue, until I moved to NYC, where women always wear heels. I think, as many posters have suggested, heels have a ton to do with it. Maybe it’s different in places like St Paul, Cleveland, and Atlanta, but in NYC women wear heels as often as they can. But there does seem to be an endless supply of guys who are over 6′ here.
Anyhow, my feeling is that online dating is pretty much impossible for short guys (I finally posted a photo of my Rolex and talked about money). I’ll just go sit at a bar or club and hope to charm a woman before I stand up.
I kind of think a lot has to do with attitude really. Shorter guys do have an advantage physique wise, in that it is probably easier to get an impressive body in the gym. Different cultures whose average height is not as tall probably are far less heightest which I have even notised around Asians and Indians to name a few. When a female overlooks a good looking 5”7 guy for an average or ugly 6” plus guy it does seem rather incongruent.
A lot of good points where made. My situation was different. I luck out and met a woman when I was young who didn’t have a problem with my height. I was rejected in highschool by a lot of short women but I didn’t know why at the time. It didn’t matter because I met my future wife my senior year in highschool who just happen to like men my height, she was 5ft 7in, about the same height as me. Let’s just say I was sheltered from all the shallownes that short men have to put up with. I had a wife and I never tried to cheat on her so I didn’t know my height was a MAJOR issue. At age 32 after 14 years of marraige, I got divorced. Now all of a sudden I’m on the dating scene, first time in years. Reality finally sat in for me, my height was a major issue for a lot of women. I was also finding out about these strange theories and myths people had about short men. It’s bad enough to deal with the height thing but when people assume derogatory crap about you that is off the wall, you can’t help but to stop and wonder. Theories like: you are just trying to over compensate for being short by being successful. I’m not allowed to be successful? There is a lot of hidden prejudice against short men. As much so if not more than being a minority group or being gay. No one stands up for you and says these myths are outragious and sick. People say it’s your confidence that maybe the problem but I have always been a confident person. “SonyJergans” made a lot of excellent points responding to “Meagan”. You can be confident, muscular, (I work out a lot), succesful and treat women good but if you don’t also have the height to go along with it, it doesn’t mean anything. What’s messed up is that’s the one thing I have no control over. I have some control over how successful I am, I have control over how muscular I am and my weight, I have control over how I dress and how I treat women but height is the one thing I can not change and people judge me on this. That’s not fair. Just like someone already said comparing height to weight is like comparing apple to oranges. Losing 10 pounds is a lot easier than growing yourself 10 inches. Because growing yourself taller is impossible. If someone could do it, that would be a major front page news story all over the world. After 6 years in that brutal dating sceene I’ve met a good woman who didn’t care about height but even she admitted when she was younger she would not have went for me because of my height and she’s only 5ft tall herself. Like someone already mentioned short women as whole tend to be the most shallow about height.
Hello Blue November!
Thanx for posting! First of all, are you for real? Seriously? Not that I’m having a hard time believing you, but there aren’t enough 5’10 women like you in this world. It’s equally depressing to suggest that more of you exist when in reality, your numbers are an extreme few. You are as rare as rare as rare as they come! What? A 5’10 woman who dated a 5’6 guy? What? A 5’10 woman who is now dating a 5’8 guy? WOW. Where have you been all my life.
Tall girls just don’t readily date shorter guys unless she is self confident and has absolutely no issues being the taller person of the two. Yes, I can believe there are tall ladies who are attracted to shorter guys and might have an actual preference for a shorter man. Again, the ratio of couples I’ve seen where the woman is more than two inches taller than the guy is maybe 1 for every 100 couples. Funny how you mention gay guys. I’ve worked with enough homosexuals to know that you are right. Most of them have a strong fashion sense and they do dress well. What I find interesting are the hords of women who are attracted to these gay men. I guess this explains why these women opt for the impossible challenge of turning a gay guy straight. Hooking up with the short heterosexual guy is a waste of time if the gay guy is tall and good looking LOL! Some hard core feminists believe it’s their innate right to date a tall guy regardless of his sexual orientation. Gay can be “fixed” according to them. Seems like a code for gay guys who want to have fun teasing straight women. Dress well, be fit and stay somewhat slim and slight for them to approach you! This doesn’t work for short guys hahaha.
One more thing BN, don’t ever slouch! Walk proudly with your man and do your best to reassure him that his height doesn’t matter to you. Maybe give him an ultimatum to stop obsessing about your height and the difference between the two of you. Like I said, it’s harder for a shorter guy to believe a taller woman has an honest appreciation for his looks and his short stature when society says directly and indirectly that he’s inferior to tall men.
This is most typical in Western culture, as the average height is somewhat taller. I think having a strong frame and feeling of self worth is an important attribute. I have always felt that being shorter means I have a better body and fashion sense more than makes up for any lack of height. Good grooming, fashion sense and physical condition are obviously traits appreciated by gay men and women of taste. I think it is only worth focusing on women who are worthy of you, instead of coming from a frame of having to qualify for a women.
I feel like the shortest guy everywhere I go and I’m 5’6″ i wish there was something i could wear that made me look taller at least but I haven’t found anything.
Drew
Wearing properly fitting clothes is very important. Truthfully 5’6″ is not that short, but many clothes manufacturers do not make clothes that fit that people that height or shorter. Especially dress clothes.
Try Express which has great fitting shirts for shorter men, especially dress shirts, long sleeve shirts and they have extra slim shirts if you are on the slim side. Wearing jeans/pants which fit properly is also important. American Eagle has nice shirts but also great jeans sizes at 28×28 and 26×28 if, once again, you happen to be on the slim side.
Okay, had to post here. I am/was considered a ‘hot girl’ (now in my 40s, but still get hit on by guys of all ages.) I am 5’6, so of average height. I exclusively dated tall guys until I left my 6’1 husband and fell for a 5’5 man. Turns out that sex is WAY better when all the parts line up, however you like to connect them. :) This guy changed my life — I prefer short men now and don’t hesitate to wear heels with them. Confident men like confident women. So… all you guys under 5’8 who think it’s dumb when women prefer taller men — you’re right! Now go out there and show them how good it can really be. )
Melissa, I’m glad you posted, and it seems like when short men get older we face less descrimination. I’m a short black man, 5ft 7in.
I posted something on January 2nd. Before I met my current relationship I briefly dated this woman who was 37, & 5ft 4in. She admitted when she was younger, she never would have dated me just like the one I am currently with who said the same thing. But she went further with it admitting she had several pre-conceived notions about short men. She actually thought all short men were smaller than average down there and she quickly found out after dating me that wasn’t true. But I was thinking you’re 37 years old and you just now finding this out? It became a major turn off even though sex was great. I guess she was a little too honest and it pissed me off. How can someone just assume that base on the man’s height and she told me a lot of her friends when she was younger thought and felt the same way. I’m thinking young women get together during their teen years at slumber parties and come up with all these crazy myths that don’t have any merit reality. She also admitted she never dated nice guys because she thought nice men didn’t believe in having fun and was uptighht about sex. Where do they get this crap from?
Lol…I am a 5′ 2 .5, a short guy…my suggestion to short guys like myself - Give bull shit about what other people think, don’t think about ur height, keep yourself fit and strong, be nice to ladies, cultivate some talents, make your career successful, be happy with who you are, love yourself and be passionate about life - tall or short girls will start following you (. Good Luck my friend!
Ahhhhh Melissa, yes indeed, the reformed heightist!
These are the girls who vehemently refuse short or shorter guys in their youthful days. When they reach 40 or older, they can’t afford to be so picky because their diminishing looks won’t allow them to compete with the younger girls for the good looking tall guys. Unless they have Jennifer Lopez money and can pay a boy toy to spend her money on dates for her. That’s ok for me because I believe women get better as they age. Most become smarter and less concerned about height and how a guy makes them look. This means short guys are fair game and good to go? Somewhat yes. While I don’t honestly avoid these type of ladies, I certainly don’t welcome them readily either. Why all of a sudden am I good enough for you now to date? I have no desire to show reformed heightist women how good a short guy can be when they wouldn’t even give me the time of day to begin with. It’s like they are forcing themselves to find something about me that turns them on, which I don’t want. At the same time it’s nice to meet a young woman who has the intelligence to understand that good men come in all heights and all sizes. Then again, most women are taught and trained from a very early age that short guys are inferior. This is the plight of a short guy until women smarten up. There’s a lot of foolish and absent minded women who treat short guys like we’re diseases until they realize the difficulties later on in life when trying to find a life long partner. I guess they can’t stand the thought of not being able to give their nasty cold to the man beside them. Some prefer to stay alone rather than settle. I worked with a 5’1 guy who dates these women like they are going out of style, some more than half a foot taller than him. No action from highschool or college but a boatload well into his adult years. They all want attention so it means hooking up with a short guy is better than hooking up with no guy at all.
You hit the nail on the head. Women generally consider short men to be third-rate, sub-human, disposable pieces of trash until they realize the average adult male height in the U. S. is not as tall as they were tricked into believing from movies and tv shows. At a certain age some women decide they have to lower their standards, no pun intended, then they are more willing to accept short men once they hear their own clock ticking. Of course there are many dollars which can explain why older women are more likely to go for shorter men, after all a short man could be worth it depending if his money makes him taller.
SonnyJ. & Michael
Hey can I say somthing? I know its a bit late but im 18 and about 5’5. Im pretty built and am mostly confident. I been with girls my height a bit shorter and some a little taller. To be honest they all felt safe with me. You know why? They new that even if i was short I was a strong, powerful, tough guy. What I learned is yes some girls make a big hype about height but majority really dont. Its confidence, its knowing who you are. Most of my friends are tall guys and out of all of them Im the toughest one, go figure. In the end you cant be hard on yourself, does it suck being 5’5, in a way yes, would I prefer to be taller, of course. However, I dont show that, I show that I dont care. I show that I know my own strength and weaknesses. If a girl doesnt like me for whatever reason, I pay her no mind. I act as if she was nothing more then something id find on a sidewalk. I never put them on a pedastool and load and behold, Im respected for it. I really agree with this article, confidence goes along way. Besides, though some girls like taller men, a lot just like men taller then them. So in essence when you think about it, its really not that bad. Theres somthing I learned in life, you need to be the dominant male. The alpha. No matter what your height, if you hold your own, if you show people you dont roll over and your confident none will fuck with you. There are millions of girls out there so whose to say everyone of them does not like you for your height? If you act confident and you accept both acceptation and rejection it gets you respect. Being short dosent mean you cant protect, it dosent mean your less of a guy, its your mind. Your mind and how you take care of yourself. I keep saying this but im telling you its confidence that really plays out in the end. Sure some girls wont like you but just as many that wont the same amount will.
I just want to let you guys know that I’m a tall woman. 6ft. My boyfriend is 5ft 6in. I have only dated one guy who was taller than me. I have never dated a guy that I could look directly in the eyes.
What I’m saying is, I do not go for tall guys. I also do not go for short guys. I go for guys I feel safe and comfortable with. I’m a taller than average woman in a relationship with a shorter than average guy and it’s the best relationship I’ve ever been in. In fact, I wish he would be secure enough to let me wear heels out. I hear all the time that guys like girls with confidence. It’s the same for girls.
Also, I’m seeing a lot of comments about female footwear here. I just want tot say that it’s not that women can’t wear heels because they’ll look too tall. It’s that woman don’t wear heels because their short dates are afraid of looking too short. It would be nice for short guys to make tall girls feel like they aren’t too tall. I spent a lot of my life feeling like I was too tall for all the guys I liked, not that all the guys I liked were too short for me. As most of the guys I liked happened to be shorter than me, I thought I wasn’t good enough for them. It really works both ways.
And something to keep in mind, guys can always bulk up. They can’t grow taller but they can get more muscle. They can always find a way to feel more masculine. A tall girl who is taught to be small and delicate by the media, cannot change her height. She can lose weight, but she will still be tall. She can never be just a girl. Ten strangers a day will feel the need to tell her that she’s not normal. She’s tall. When people ask me how the weather is up there I get the urge to spit on their face and tell them that it’s raining.
I want my boyfriend to let me wear heels out because I would know that he thinks I’m perfect for him whether I’m tall or not. It would make me feel like he’s proud to be seen with me in whatever I want to wear.
I’m a taller girl and people tell me im attractive and I have a guy about 2 1/2-3 inches shorter than me that is possibly the most fun guy in ever been with. I never thought I could like a guy shorter than me but 1 he’s built 2 he had the confidence to want to get with me(that’s mainly what makes me like him the most). That’s what I have to say
Hey Elle, I like your first response. Excellent!
“What I’m saying is, I do not go for tall guys. I also do not go for short guys. I go for guys I feel safe and comfortable with. I’m a taller than average woman in a relationship with a shorter than average guy and it’s the best relationship I’ve ever been in.”
So nice to hear the viewpoint of a very tall woman dating a much shorter man! Shucks, lucky guy musta beat me to you LOL. I must mention that despite you feeling safe and comfortable with your much shorter boyfriend, there’s still way too few tall ladies like yourself who will confidently date a shorter guy let alone be seen with a guy much shorter. The very issue of taller women feeling safe and protected is often compromised by unscientific beliefs people have against shorter men. We are seen as weak, inferior, unnatractive and unmasculine in many eyes. A man’s height is determinate by many women shorter and taller as a clear indicator of his protector capabilities. Next, I’m sure there are enough short guys who have heard this question and answer from taller woman many times over.
“How can he protect me if I’m bigger and taller than him?”
“There’s no way I can feel safe and protected with a shorter guy.”
Short guys endure this stuff on a regular basis from women who support serious claims that tall guys are more masculine and are better protectors. Elle, you are just one honest woman with an open heart and open mind in a world of closed hearts and superficialities. I appreciate and respect your post but you can’t deny it. How can a shorter guy make a taller woman feel like she’s not too tall? Wear lifts? Leg-lengthening surgery? Tall woman should wear flats? Unless you’re an actor filling a role or your job requires you to wear lifts, it wreaks of insecurity as far as I’m concerned. What happens when the short guys takes the lifts off and reveals he’s much shorter? Some short guys are going for that costly, dangerous, painful, surgery that entails breaking the leg bones, and stretching them out to form new bone. You’re left rehabbing in a wheelchair for 6 to 8 months on top of the extreme pain of daily physiotherapy. Add more pain to the equation when the pins at the point of fracture need to be treated and cleansed daily to avoid infection? Sorry, no thanks, not for me! No amount of pain is worth making yourself more attractive to the taller opposite sex based on Hollywood culture. Really, I don’t know how to make a taller woman feel like she’s not too tall. She should wear flats maybe? I think it starts by treating a taller woman the exact same way I would treat a shorter woman. Give her the immediate respect and the dignity of being treated like how any woman would want to be treated. Be polite, courteous, cordial and attentive to her. At the same time a man should have an independent voice and opinion that distinguishes him from other men. Both tall and short women hate wimps or guys that come accross as pushovers right?
Oh, about the high heels? All I can say to you is that your heels would never be a problem with me. In fact, I’d welcome them as part of your wardrobe and tell you to rock em’ any time you want when we go out. As long as there’s no pain involved when you walk, it’s fine by me. FYI, some women ruin their sexy feet and gorgeous toes by jamming them into the tiniest, pointiest heels just to look taller than everyone. That’s not attractive. One more thing. Don’t ever slouch. It’s perfectly OK for you to tell me that I can always bulk up and add muscle but it’s not always the right advice for some short guys. Working out is a very good thing but some men have a really hard time bulking up because of their metabolism. I think telling us short guys to keep our bodies fit and healthy without doing too much weights is better. I’ve been told by women that short guys bulking up is actually the wrong thing to do. Little guys with big muscles look disproportionate and are unnattractive.
To Matt Savage.
Being short myself, one should not lose hope. As I believe in reincarnation, I think things happen for a reason. Here are a couple of e - mails I sent to my Psychic and clairvoyant: -
I am still feeling positive. The only reason I have felt a bit down in the past is I compare myself to other people, due to my lack of height. I have always found it difficult to attract the opposite sex, and form relationships with other people because of it. I am hoping in my next life, I am of average height or taller. I will then be able to enjoy a whole new range of experiences, which I will never have in this lifetime.
I am sure that is all down to bad karma. I do not want to
make any mistakes in this life, so I come back in similar circumstances in my next life.
I feel I am on the right path with your help.
Like I mentioned in my last e-mail, I still want to be around a few more years, to see the big changes, that are going to happen soon, then I will see if I want to move on.
When I mentioned about moving on, in my last e-mail, it does not mean doing anything drastic, like taking my own life. I do not believe in suicide, hopefully with feeling good at the moment, I will never sink to a lower state of mind, and with you helping me, I want to keep my word, so I will not let you down.
What I meant was, when the time comes if I want to move, is to ask God in my prayers, if he will take me peacefully, when I am asleep, so I can start again in a new body. It is like when you get bored wearing the same clothes all the time, and you want to change into fresh clothing.
Sometimes the only way you can progress is to tear down the old and start anew.
Then again a miracle could happen in this lifetime, where I may not want to come back again as another human being, and I may want to move into a higher dimension instead. After all God has the last word.
Who knows, I could meet a woman, like you, that could make me feel complete, and values me for what I am.
So please do not lose hope, we are dealt with more than one hand of cards. That is why reincarnation explains away the unfairness, of having only one life.
Martin
0h wow. I am about 5’3 and very shy. I never really thought much about relationships because it’s not the priority for me (I’m 20). Sure it would be nice to have a girlfriend but I knew height would be a turn off for most girls. So I googled the subject and I can’t believe what I’m reading here. Jesus, 5’6-5’7 men in their 30-40s posting stories of terrible luck all because of height. WTF>? Is that what’s ahead of me? I’m freaking horrified now, how can I ever approach anyone knowing this? sub-human. freaks. Who says all that shit? I’m not in US but planning on coming there at some point, but oh mygod, I didn’t expect this. It can’t be that bad. People have always respected me. even assholes. So what if I’m not manly looking, I have boy-ish pretty face looks and it shows my true nature and that I’m a really soft and loving person… So what If I’m not into sports, I like art and culture. I appreaciate all the incredible things world has to offer. I still hope there is a girl who will accept me and I will not end up here in my 40s complaining how height has destroyed my life. But approaching. No way. i’m sensitive enough as it is, I dont need to be called these awful words. I don’t have any ‘game’ and don’t intend on ever going to clubs or trying to attract random ‘chicks’. So yeah..
Ronan, I’m curious what country you’re from. Here in the US height matters a great deal if you are male. You can make up for it a little bit by being buffed but that only helps depending on how short you are. If you’re close to 5ft 9in but buffed as hell, it can make up for it but the shorter you are the less it helps. Some countries 5ft 6in and shorter is the norm but not here. Here people do judge you by your height but only if you’re male. Short women are not judged negatively at all even real short like 4ft 8in. If you’re female in this country it’s perfectly fine being short, no one judges you but if you’re male there’s a problem. Below 5ft 10in you will start having problems, the shorter you are the more there’s a problem. What is so rediculous you will face the most dislike from short women. Imagine me being close to 5ft 8in but a female who is 9 inches shorter than me saying I’m too short for her. That’s what pissing me off.
Ummmm……..
I am a woman, 5’3. I have been told so many times I was too short to date by men. “I like you but you are really short, do you wear heels often?”. Like when? Around the house? If you only like me when I have heels on then you are shallow. I don’t want to date you anyway.
Tall women are brutal with us short women. You blame us for taking all the tall guys but most tall men I have met do not want to date short women. They wonder where all the tall women are.
Shorter men treat women so good. Sex is better when you are close in size. Having sex with a man who is more than 6 inches or taller makes it hard to kiss at the same time. Also he crushes me in some positions. Ugh.
I like the shorter guy I am dating right now. Bring on the short men.
@ James:
“Short women are not judged negatively at all even real short like 4ft 8in. If you’re female in this country it’s perfectly fine being short, no one judges you but if you’re male there’s a problem”
What? And you know this because you have been a short woman?
I am judged all the time. It is hard to get promoted. People (men and often tall women) see me as “young”. I have a hard time getting noticed in business unless I am wearing hooker heels. It feels awkward. People think it is all right to call me “munchkin” or “midget” because of the same attitude you have. I am a woman so being short doesn’t bother me.
Do you know how awful it is when you can’t reach the top of the shelves at a grocery store? I am always looking for something to stand on to get stuff off the top shelf. Why do tall people have to put everything up so high.
You are the first short woman I ever heard say anything like that. I find what you say hard to believe. I never heard of anyone having a problem with a woman that’s short unless she’s like 4ft 3in or something like that. I never heard of any dude having a problem with a woman that’s 5ft 3in. I have short sisters and I just asked all of them and they never had your problems. So is your post a prank or something.
I have been doing more research into the power of prayer.
Does it work? Yes and no, but not in the way you expect.
For example to attract a woman, if she prefers tall men:
If you are a short bloke, like myself, no amount of praying will make any difference, because you are trying to exercise your free will over hers, so no,
But it can influence your next life, by becoming tall in your next one, making such a thing a possibility, so yes.
It is the same with money, if karma dictates, that you are going to be poor in this life, you have just got to accept it, but you could come back in better circumstances next time, to make it more feasible.
Martin
Also @ Shorty McShort you said “Tall women are brutal with us short women. You blame us for taking all the tall guys but most tall men I have met do not want to date short women.”
Well aparently what the tall women are saying is true, most of you short ladies date tall men exclusively. That’s a known fact. If men are saying you’re too short, then apparently these men you trying to get with are real close to 7 feet tall.
The last part you said starting with “Shorter men….” I agree with you 100%
@Shorty McShort
Firstly thank you for admitting implicitly that you do not to date any short man, even though he may be 5 or so inches taller than you. While short women may face a lack of seriousness in the office place that is only one small part of discrimination that short men face. Short men face discrimination at every part of their life. I can guarantee you most men do not turn away women for being to short. You may be called names as a short woman but it does not carry the innate negativity as it does to a short man. As a short man I have had people tell me I am a sub-human, short men have been told to check themselves into a genetic screening to figure out what is wrong with them to screen them out from the world, I have been called half a man.
The negatives of being a short adult man, specifically in American society, is a true detriment to overall quality of life. If the only inconveniences were finding clothes to fit properly and being called names every now and then this would be a minimal issue. The fact that even short women at 4’11″, 5’0″ and 5’1″look at short men who are 5’4″, 5’5″ and casually toss them aside as unworthy garbage is telling to how society views us.
Personally I have found that women my height or slightly taller are slightly more accepting of short men. I think it may be because some taller women (above average height at around 5’6″, 5’7″) don’t have the need to be constantly reminded that they need to be a short woman to feel feminine and this allows them to be more comfortable with shorter men because they are already comfortable with who they are.
Being a short man, in American society, is bad regardless of race, economic status or educational level. You are treated as a lesser human being, you earn less money for no reason other than being short (at least the people acknowledges women get paid less and pass legislation to fix it, when short men bring it up people just laugh at it), you are regarded as a third rate choice as a romantic partner. There are almost no tangible positives to being a short adult man.
You are absolutely right about what you have just mentioned. I am 54 years of age and just under five seven [I may be starting to shrink!]. There are some things you have just got to accept in life. What you did not mention was how old you are. If you are young, say in your twenties and being short bothers you that much, have you considered leg-lengthening surgery? There is an article in the health column in The Mail on Sunday today about it. Who knows in time to come, they may be able to improve on treatment, where not as much pain is involved. Mostly height is genetic, etc if your parents are short or tall. But as I believe in reincarnation, I think we make choices before we come into the world, like choosing our parents and the circumstances we incarnate into. We have had thousands of bodies in the past, some good, some bad, and no doubt the same in the future. Even though very few people remember their past lives, there is a reason for this.
Have a look at Karma/Reincarnation.
God Bless.
Martin.
Martin
Being short likely doesn’t bother any male; it is the treatment from individuals that we all can’t stand. If women looked at me as a real human and not as a disposable entity that vaguely resembles a person then this would be much less of an issue. Being turned down for jobs, being seen as less intelligent, having women laugh in our face, etc.
Leg lengthening surgery is extremely expensive, I met with a surgeon who performs the surgery and overall it can cost over $100,000 in the U. S. even more if there are complications and insurance typically doesn’t cover cosmetic procedures. Not to mention during the lengthening process which takes two-to-three months you generally can’t work, then one is confined to a wheelchair for awhile during the healing process. That comes out to half a year of ones life and well over $100,000; All that for 2-to-4 inches of height, a few men who I have spoken with say it is well worth the cost. Now the operation is performed overseas for much less but people have to be very careful over which non-American Doctor they choose, some are legit and some are very poor.
You are absolutely right about what you have just mentioned. I am 54 years of age and just under five seven [I may be starting to shrink!]. There are some things you have just got to accept in life. What you did not mention was how old you are. If you are young, say in your twenties and being short bothers you that much, have you considered leg-lengthening surgery? There is an article in the health column in The Mail on Sunday today about it. Who knows in time to come, they may be able to improve on treatment, where not as much pain is involved. Mostly height is genetic, etc if your parents are short or tall. But as I believe in reincarnation, I think we make choices before we come into the world, like choosing our parents and the circumstances we incarnate into. We have had thousands of bodies in the past, some good, some bad, and no doubt the same in the future. Even though very few people remember their past lives, there is a reason for this.
God Bless.
Martin.
Like I mentioned in my last e-mail, they are making progress on things all the time. And who knows where money is concerned, miracles can happen like a windfall or inheritance. Just have faith and pray, and if it does not happen in this lifetime, it will in some future one. There is a reason for everything. God answers things in his own time.
Martin.
Leg-lengthening surgery?
C’mon Michael, it’s not that bad. You’re going to risk losing the ability to walk (or worse) for a few inches?
That’s absurd. I feel sorry for any guy that would consider that. Anyone considering such an extreme measure needs to talk to a shrink first. You’re being hyper-sensitive to your environment. You said yourself no guy cares about being short — it’s how people react to the shortness. If your confidence improves the shortness won’t seem as bad. Some of the most successful men in history are short.
I’m 5’4″ btw.
The risk is minimal and the person is only in a wheelchair for a few months. The surgery is done thousands of times a year over in China and there are minimal effects to it. Like Martin said the procedure, like all medicine, is constantly going through an evolving process.
Anyone who has leg lengthening surgery in the U. S. is required to get psychological evaluation and I did and I was approved. If you knew anything about leg lengthening surgery you would have known that fact, because you didn’t I will only defer to the professionals regarding it. Unless you are an orthopedic surgeon who performs limb lengthening or a psychologist who is responsible for performing the evaluations your opinion is irrelevant to me because they are not based on any knowledge of the procedure.
You’re right. I know nothing about it because the concept is preposterous to me.
Also, just so you know, a Psychologist is not a Medical Doctor. Some states don’t even require any formal education for psychologists. If you want a proper opinion you need to see a Psychiatrist (formal M. D. education).
If you work on your confidence you won’t have to spend so much money on such a dangerous operation.
From the first Google hit:
“Cosmetic Leg Lengthening procedures (also called Symmetric Extended Limb Lengthening) can not be compared with more simple plastic surgery options. They are very complex, painful, costly and require long recovery times from one half to one full year. People considering this procedure must be fully aware of the pain and discomfort associated with it and must be mentally prepared for the duration. Since anti-inflammatory pain medication can disrupt the creation of new bone, some doctors prescribe minimal pain management. Some medical centers require that the patient undergo a psychological evaluation to ensure they will be able to endure the recovery, with the necessary positive attitude.”
I cannot fathom that anybody would put themselves through something like that. To each his own, I guess.
“Also, just so you know, a Psychologist is not a Medical Doctor. Some states don’t even require any formal education for psychologists. If you want a proper opinion you need to see a Psychiatrist (formal M. D. education).”
So let me get this straight. I met with the M. D. who performs the procedure and I met with the only Psychologist who he accepts evaluations from and you are trying to tell me I need to see a Psychiatrist? What exactly is your educational background? Why would you think someone needs to see a Psychiatrist?
Sorry, but I will go with the Medical Doctor who has spent years doing the surgery over someone who who does a google search.
I really cannot understand this heightism nonesence, I have heard of body dysmorphia where people become overly obsessed with their muscles, this honestly takes it to new heights. There are many sports which favour smaller men such as horseriding and motor sports to name a few. You could even include gymnastics. Hollywood certainly has no shortage of leading men with a shorter stature. Heightism is a relatively new phenomina and it is mostly a western one. I am very sure if you did some research on it you could find advantages of being shorter. I am 5”7 and very happy with my height.
Michael,
I have to say this, but at this moment in time, you have only three choices: –
1. Accept yourself as you are.
2. Leg lengthening.
3. Reincarnation.
There is an old saying, there is no pain without gain, and everything comes at a price tag.
It is very unfortunate, but that is how society [especially the female variety] sets the criteria for the male race, where height is concerned. It has been like this for time immemorial and is unlikely to change in the future. Depending on how old and tall you are, you can only consider the first two options. The third one is through prayer, which I mentioned in my previous e-mails. The only other is to hope society changes its negative perspective of short people, and begins to accept them as equal, through prayer, which would be a miracle in itself.
But there again, people are so shallow these days, and only judge by outward appearances, and not see a person for what they really are.
At the end of the day, you are unique like myself, and if people do not like you, warts and all, well tough! Why try and change just to suit others? If you are a nice person, which is all that should really matter. That is what is going by my yardstick
Those are the kind of people you should seek out, and make you feel good about yourself.
Hope that may be of some comfort to you.
I do not understand why you are still going on about my choices when I know them very well and that is implicitly very clear from all my previous posts.
About 5 years ago I briefly dated (about 3 dates) this very shallow female that was just trying to get money out of me. I noticed people are now talking about that leg lengthing operation. Now this stupid female kept ragging on me about my height even though I was 4 inches taller than her. She actually said well it’s your fault you’re short saying I could have gotten that leg legthening operation. Saying I have no one but myself to blame. Now I’m a high ranking person in the military. How in the hell I’m going to get a cosmetic operation that will land me in a wheel chair for 6 months and recovering an additional 6 months on top of that. We are at war right now, that would be worse than getting caught shooting yourself in the foot to keep from getting deployed. I tried to explain this to her but she did not get it. If I did that operation I would be dishonorably discharge, and all those years I put in will be down the drain. No sweet retirement money, I would lose everything. It’s not like she’s going to pay for the operation and take care of me. So why would this stupid bitch say this, because she’s an extreme heightest with issues. Ox already mentioned the other issues I would deal with on top of that. Plus I’m too old for that operation anyway.
Fellas, fellas, FELLAS.
Leg lengthening surgery is risky, dangerous and it doesn’t guarantee a gain of more than two inches height increase. Doctors will always tell you it is NOT a dangerous procedure just to support their business and the money pool that is surgical medicine. They know it is. Don’t let them fool you. Some surgeons are in constant guinea pig mode and are eager to use their cutting tools on the operating room floor any chance they get. The recovery time for this surgery is a lot longer than what I’ve read here.
I recently saw a documentary about a Pakistani teenaged boy who stood 4’11. He went for the surgery and is now 5’1. He was wheelchair-ridden for about 8 months which is the average recovery time, 6 months minimum for most people. On top of the extreme pain of every little movement of daily life, add the extreme pain of physiotherapy and the required exercises, DAILY. Also, the lesions at the point of insertion where the bones were broken need cleaning to avoid infection on the hour EVERY hour. Then comes the risks later on in life years after surgery with respect to bone age and vasculature. Blood flow and bone health is extremely important for men and women. It’s more serious as we age because our bones become more brittle and blood levels decrease. I can’t fathom how any man would ever consider putting himself through this type of operation just to gain favour with women? Guys, don’t be fooled! A heightist woman cannot change her spots unless she has a new found open door personality towards meeting men and withholds final judgement on him until she’s fully interacted with him. You know the types. The kind of woman that actually takes the time and makes a concerted effort to know a man beyond the surface, rather than pissing on him if he’s a few inches below her prefered height. Few women change, if any at all. In most cases she will still find someone taller, replace you in a moments notice and render you too short despite the suffering of your surgery and minimal height increase. I would honestly rather stay single and make myself a better person with what God gave me than appease the desires to be taller by stupid, ignorant, shallow, superficial, arrogant, heightist women.
NO WOMAN IS WORTH THE PAIN THAT LEG-LENGTHENING SURGERY ENTAILS. PERIOD.
You are absolutely right about what you are saying. Why try and change, what cannot be changed, just to fit someone else’s criteria. We are all created unique, and have different strengths. Like you said, you are probably better off staying single and just stepping back to reflect on life. In doing so, you may find you can channel your energies in a different direction, etc through yoga, prayer and meditation, which is ideally suited to a single person.
So you see, everything has its compensations.
Hope that is of some comfort to you.
Sonny Jergens
Aman to everything you said. It’s not worh it for just 2 or 3 inches. Just to impress somebody who is shallow as hell. It’s not like other cosmetic surgery where the recovery time is less than two months and you are on pain meds the whole time. Also you’re not risking being handicap for the rest of your life if something goes wrong.
I’m currently dating a guy who is 4 inches shorter than me and it’s my first time with a shorter man. I’m not going to lie and say he didn’t have to work harder than other guys may have had to for my attention but I consider myself a very compassionate and open minded person.
While we were casually dating the height difference didn’t bother me, we were just hanging out and there was no public labeling, so it was pretty stress free, but when our relationship started to progress I found myself becoming increasingly concerned with the numbers.
I’m tall (5’8) for a girl and I’ve always been extremely self conscious about my height (never wearing heels, being happy about finding other tall girls to hang out with, etc.) until recently, so I still have lapses in judgment and get concerned with physical details sometimes, I’m a work in progress!
Anyway, we dated for about 10 months before I finally agreed to be his girlfriend and I could slap myself for waiting so long. He’s the most affectionate, attentive, loving partner I’ve had and I love him deeply; we have more in common than anyone I know and we often take the words from each other’s mouths and express the same random thoughts.
I feel comfortable going out with him, the whole ‘attractive girl needing to feel protected’ sentiment expressed earlier applies to me, so at first I was concerned with his height but he’s proven he can protect me and I feel safe around him even though I may be 6+ inches taller than him when I’m out in heels.
Like I said, I love him so much and he’s more than made up for any physical traits that may not be as desirable to me with his intangible qualities, but again, I’m still working on my own personal issues with height - not his but mine, so sometimes I do slip into a not so attractive mindset and daydream about how our wedding might be awkward or how our children may get his height and I’ll be the giant mom. I hate that I can be like that over something so insignificant.
But all in all, I’m happy to be with him. I smile more than I ever have and who cares if he has to look up a bit to see it?
Hey Britt,
Excuse me? You made this guy wait 10 months just so you could figure out your feelings, AND if he was good enough to be exclusive to you? Did it take 10 months of test dates in public exposure for you to swallow the namecalling, snickers and short guy/tall girl insults? Shame, shame, shame! Just kidding. Actually, no not really. More surprised and a bit disturbed that this guy waited that long for you. If you were the only girl I had my eye on and was dating you I would have never waited that long for you to decide if I’m qualified to be your boyfriend, quite honestly. He must think you are a really special girl and you just might be. Hope you don’t “know it” too much and it doesn’t get to your head if you know what I mean.
Good for you for wising up though. Now you just gotta grow up a little more, and rather quickly in the relationship if you want it to progress to something really special, IF he’s a genuinely good guy. There are assholes in the world tall and short alike. More importantly, I think you would want to do your best to minimize the damage control with each uncontrolling moment your “cavewoman” senses tell you the man you’re dating isn’t tall enough for you. Happiness matters first, remember. I’m actually surprised that you didn’t kick him to the curb knowing full well that he “had to work harder than other guys,” just to get your attention. We all know that women hate guys who try too hard. I guess he didn’t over do it pursuing you, or you might be a little less prejudiced than other women about measuring a man’s confidence by his height. Women do that all the time. Confidence has two different definitions measured by women in inches(and it’s not necessarily phallic LOL). One for short guys, one for tall guys. Short guys with a smidget of confidence and short guys with tons of confidence walk the same paper thin line that holds extremes on both sides. You’re either seen as a wimp or as Napoleanic. Nothing positive, just bad on both ends. Not quite the same for tall guys though. Isn’t it. In fact the more inches he has in height, the less confidence he really needs. Women will sacrifice confidence in a tall guy even if he’s an ugly bastard physically or the wussiest of wusses mentally. Doesn’t even matter if he’s the greatest combination of both wuss and ugly. It’s not uncommon for a woman to sacrifice the more important features such as man’s intelligence, ambition, fitness and character with each inch he presents in height.
The best thing you can do is be true to yourself and to him. Don’t break his heart by pretending to not be bothered about his height if you still are. The longer it goes with the uncertainties is the worst for the both of you. If him being shorter than you is still your problem but you know it’s something you can fix, FIX IT. There’s no time better than NOW. Shucks girlfriend, you’re already daydreaming about marrying the guy so get the cavewoman crap outta your head quick and keep it out. If you let it bother you, you just might lose out on the best thing to ever happen to you.
James and Martin,
Thank you for the compliments. I ain’t the short guy health and wellness height prophet LMAO! But thanx! Anything to help and alert other short brothers of the world to the discrimination and fourth class treatment that short men endure.
There are short guys in this world just like tall guys who have the so called game, skills, tactics, tools, vibes, whatever methods that bring success with women. Whatever the level, and it’s not always about gettin’ down and dirty. A guy once told me it’s all about separating the chicks who really need to talk to you and finding the chicks that need you as a good phuq buddy. The hope is that you settle down with one quality woman who makes you not want anymore “booty” call girls meanwhile giving you the best and deepest conversations. Women want and live for good casual sex just as much as guys do. They just don’t want to admit to wanting it as much and for having a physical preference heightwise in both casual sex mates and potential boyfriend/husband/father guys.
I always say the most fun girls are the ones who are straight up, know what they want, aren’t selfish and dare to be a little different. She’s not turned on by his height, she’s turned on by HIM.
All we can do is educate and orchestrate fairness and justice for everyone. I’m a short guy and a man like any man in this world who has worked, fought, protected and earned the title of being called a MAN. Same thing goes for a woman who has earned her title. I love, respect and cherish smart young girls who become powerful WOMEN and great leaders. I fear for those young girls who don’t grow up and continue making relationships based on one trait a guy either has or hasn’t. Some stay single, forever lonely, holding out hope that a tall, dark and handsome will ask her out and marry her so the short guys will leave her alone. Other just pass on their bigoted beliefs to their daughters and their best girlfriends’ daughters.
Height is something humans have no control over. So why people are so judgemental over height is beyond me. A good looking guy can immediately be considered unattractive if he does not meet certain height requirements. It seems like for a lot of women it doesn’t matter how short they are but their mate better be atleast 6foot. She says so what if I’m only 4ft 10in, my man better be at least 6foot. So the short dude can’t just fix the problem by only going for women that are real short because he still has to be 6 foot, no matter what. That’s what’s so confusing at first for a lot of young dudes that are short so they only hit on women that are much shorter than them thinking that resolves the height issue but the guy’s height is still an issue. So you can’t win. There isn’t a shortage of real short women out there, there are plenty of them, but if all of the real short women are only going for tall men, you are SOL.
Thanks Martin,
I’m older in my late 40′s and when I was young from what I remembered it wasn’t that big of a deal being 5ft 7in. as long as you had a muscular build but I noticed with what my sons and nephews have to put up with, being under 5ft 9in is now a big deal in a real negative way. Like you said Martin, kids are simply getting taller and if you’re male and only if you’re male you HAVE TO have at least one parent taller than average, so you have a good chance of being close to 6 foot. It’s almost a requirement now. My nephew actually said he wouldn’t want to have a kid with a short woman, two short parents would equal a male child that will become a short adult. He said he does not want his sons to go through the shit he has go through. Is this is what we are coming to? It’s so sad. Short women already have been doing this for decades. Now will short men start to stoop to the level of the short female, choosing their mate based on how tall they will make their offspring? Height discrimation toward males is real and a fact of life. You have to prepare your sons to deal with the discrimination, myths and in some cases down right hostility from ignorant people.
Interesting how society allows short women to freely discriminate against guys barely an inch or two taller than them. When I’m talking short women it’s the ladies 5’2 and under. Most people consider average height for women 5’3 – 5’6. Tall for a woman IMO is 5’7 to 5’11. The super tall ladies are the ones in excess of 6’0 barefoot. It’s not always true about the two short parents producing short children theory. It’s more common when the family history and relatives are short. A tall man/short woman couple can still produce short children. I’ve seen families like this. On the other hand I’ve seen familes where both parents under 5’6 produced children a couple inches taller than them. Still, a short guy has a much better chance of producing taller children by mating with a taller woman. The chances greatly improve if she’s several inches taller than him. The mother’s genes are said to be the strongest determining influence of the adult height of the children. I don’t blame some short guys who strictly date taller women. If these guys are like me who’ve got the shaft from short women in the past, you’re brain tells you not to limit yourself. I’ve always found taller women pretty and sexy to begin with and I never made my choices in women in order to fit into peer groups. Not every couple wears the same costume to the party.
When my height is used as the measuring stick of the content of my character, my level of intelligence or the depth of my manhood, it does piss me off. Not so much anymore because growing older means I have less time to worry about the simple minded ilk. There are amazing women in this world, tall and short who don’t judge men on height. Many of them just as beautiful as the ones with the attitudes and crazy beliefs against shorter guys. I love to share myself with these confident, brave, sexy women. Contrary to some guys, I don’t mind if a woman has a fetish for a certain type of body size, height, weight and overall look in a man. Whatever honestly floats your boat you should go with, but you shouldn’t just limit yourself to the physical. It’s abusive and unfair when the word “creep” is attached to fetish and applied to shorter guys who have the same sexually functioning demographics as tall men. I don’t really agree with the negative associations of the word itself but I do think people take it way out of context to hide dangerous practices that hurt others. Fetishes are and should be another way of comfortably expressing personal sexual behaviour and desire in another person as long as the pleasure is mutual. Everyone is different. People aren’t turned on by the same things. All the better to go after women with the most open and honest of hearts. The hope is that a person has one quality in their entire physique that makes you get curious and crazy about the rest of them. I always try to be open with everyone and allow myself to be stimulated by a persons mind besides the body.
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