Web Info on Sexual Assault and Abuse
Only Psychos Think Rape is OK. Right?
Societal Attitudes Supporting Rape
- A survey of 6,159 college students enrolled at 32 institutions in the U. S. found the following: (ref 4)
· 54% of the women surveyed had been the victims of some form of sexual abuse; more than one in four college-aged women had been the victim of rape or attempted rape;
· 57% of the assaults occurred on dates;
· 73% of the assailants and 55% of the victims had used alcohol or other drugs prior to the assault;
· 25% of the men surveyed admitted some degree of sexually aggressive behavior;
· 42% of the victims told no one.
- In a survey of high school students, 56% of the girls and 76% of the boys believed forced sex was acceptable under some circumstances. (ref 5)
- A survey of 11-to-14 year-olds found:(ref 5)
· 51% of the boys and 41% of the girls said forced sex was acceptable if the boy, "spent a lot of money" on the girl;
· 31% of the boys and 32% of the girls said it was acceptable for a man to rape a woman with past sexual experience;
· 87% of boys and 79% of girls said sexual assault was acceptable if the man and the woman were married;
· 65% of the boys and 47% of the girls said it was acceptable for a boy to rape a girl if they had been dating for more than six months.
- In a survey of male college students:
· 35% anonymously admitted that, under certain circumstances, they would commit rape if they believed they could get away with it (ref 6,7).
· One in 12 admitted to committing acts that met the legal definitions of rape, and 84% of men who committed rape did not label it as rape.(ref 6,7)
- In another survey of college males: (ref 8)
· 43% of college-aged men admitted to using coercive behavior to have sex, including ignoring a woman's protest, using physical aggression, and forcing intercourse.
· 15% acknowledged they had committed acquaintance rape; 11% acknowledged using physical restraints to force a woman to have sex.
- Women with a history of rape or attempted rape during adolescence were almost twice as likely to experience a sexual assault during college, and were three times as likely to be victimized by a husband. (ref 9)
- Sexual assault is reported by 33% to 46% of women who are being physically assaulted by their husbands.(ref 10)
If you or someone you know has been hurt:
Sources:
1. Dupre, A. R. Hampton, H. L. Morrison, H. and Meeks, G. R. Sexual Assault. Obstetrical and Gynecological Survey. 1993;48:640-648.
2. National Crime Center and Crime Victims Research and Treatment Center. Rape in America: A Report to the Nation. Arlington, VA; 1992:1-16
3. National Victim Center, and Crime Victims Research and Treatment Center. Rape in America: A Report to the Nation. Arlington, VA; 1992:1-16.
4. Koss M. P. Hidden rape: sexual aggression and victimization in a national sample of students in higher education. In: Burgess A. W. ed Rape and Sexual Assault. New York, NY: Garland Publishing: 1988;2:3-25.
5. White, Jacqueline W. and John A. Humphrey. "Young People's Attitudes Toward Acquaintance Rape." Acquaintance Rape: The Hidden crime." John Wiley and Sons, 1991.
6. Koss M. P. Dinero, T. E. Seibel, C. A. Stranger and acquaintance rape: Are there differences in the victim's experience? Psychology of Women Quarterly. 1988:12:1-24.
7. Malamuth N. M. Rape proclivity among males. J Soc Issues. 1981;37:138-157.
8. Rapaport, Karen R. and C. Dale Posey. Sexually Coercive College Males. Acquaintance Rape: The Hidden Crime, edited by Andrea Parrot. John Wiley and Sons, 1991.
9. Ellis, Atkeson, Calhoun, 1982: Gidycz, Coble, Latham, Layman, (1993); Guthrie, Notgrass, 1992.
10. Frieze IH, Browne A. Violence in marriage. In: Ohlin, L, Tonry, M, eds. Family Violence: Crime and Justice, A Review of Research. Chicago, Ill: University of Chicago Press; 1989:163-218.
11. American Academy of Pediatrics, Committee on Adolescence. Sexual assault and the adolescent. Pediatrics. 1994;94(5):761-765.
12. Heise, L. L. Reproductive freedom and violence against women: where are the intersections? J Law Med Ethics. 1993;21(2):206-216.
Dating Tips Q&A: How To Stop A Woman On The Street
Comments Off
>>>SUCCESS STORY<<<
Hello, I just bought your book today and I have to admit it was the best choice ever. Before I bought your book I was the shy “nice” guy who would always try to cling on girls and hardly ever talk to any and was always wondering why I couldn’t get any phone #’s or dates. I have been dateless for 19 years and I just finished reading your book tonight.
Well I went out and tried some of the techniques and I have to admit it worked like a charm. I saw this girl (looked like a model) I went up to her and said hi, (never done before) and she was like hi and kept walking. Then I threw in this remark “what did my good looks really scare you that badly? (I am an average looking guy and I knew this)” This stopped her in her tracks and she actually came back and was like “What did you say “I was like “Did my good looks really scare you away” and she said “I guess that was it, do you want to grab a table and talk a bit?”
Then we talked for around 20 minutes then I looked at my watch and said look at the time I have to get going. She said “already but we just started”. Then I said well how about you give me your e-mail address and I can contact you when I have some time. She told me she didn’t have an e - mail address so I asked for her phone number and told her I would only call her about 3 times every day. She laughed and gave it to me and I said will I be able to get a hold of you on this number? She said yes and even showed me her cell phone number.
It matched so I was like I will call you sometime towards the end of the week and maybe we can meet up and develop our “Friendship” a little more. I walked away leaving her speechless.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, first of all, you get a GOLD STAR for being a MAN OF ACTION.
With this little story, you’ve shown me that you UNDERSTAND what you’re learning… and you possess an important quality: Willingness to TRY THINGS.
I thought that it would be interesting to talk about the psychology of approaching and meeting women.
Your email was a great introduction to this topic, as it includes several subtle twists and turns that make for interesting observation and analysis.
Listen to me talking about “observation and analysis”… I sound like some kind of freakin’ smart guy.
Whatever.
OBSERVATION AND ANALYSIS #1:
First you walked over and just said, “Hi”…then, when she kept walking, you said something that was both Cocky & Funny, and PRICELESS.
You said, “What did my good looks really scare you that badly?”
Now, the fact that you’re an average-looking guy REALLY makes something like this work.
With one comment you actually communicated more than most guys communicate in HOURS.
You effectively said, “I’m not intimidated by you, and, in fact, I’m so comfortable around beautiful women, that I can make funny comments like this one…”.
Beautiful women walk around in the world surrounded by BORING, needy, approval-seeking guys. These guys are NOT appealing to women.
When someone shows up and actually demonstrates some HUMOR and some PERSONALITY and some STRENGTH, it really stands out.
OBSERVATION AND ANALYSIS #2:
After chatting with her for a little while, you said, “I have to get going”.
What would most guys do in a situation like this one?
Of course… they’d cling to this girl like peanut butter sticks to the roof of a dog’s mouth.
And what would she do?
Right… she’d RUN.
By breaking off the interaction yourself when it was on an UP NOTE, you made yourself FAR more attractive to her.
OBSERVATION AND ANALYSIS #3:
After you got her number, you said, “I’ll call you at the end of the week and maybe we can meet up to develop our friendship a little more”.
Beautiful.
What would most guys have done?
Right… they would have said, “Hey, maybe I can take you out on a date this week… how does that sound?”.
In other words, they would have basically communicated that they were needy Wussbags instead of communicating that they understood the situation and what they were dealing with.
And, of course, they probably wouldn’t have had a chance of seeing that woman ever again (except in their one-handed fantasies).
I LOVE IT WHEN GUYS TAKE ACTION!
Love it!
I’m proud of you, man.
Someone come over here and give me a hug before I start crying.
Again, you get a gold star.
One more thought…
I think that most guys would read a story like this one and say “That sounds like B. S… that would never work”.
Well, I’ll tell you something… I’ve seen things like this happen so many times that I can’t even COUNT them anymore.
It’s hard for most guys to believe that it’s possible to literally approach women, start conversations, and get phone numbers and emails within minutes… and to do it one after another, after another…
But it IS possible.
Here’s an interesting story for you:
I have one friend who I personally saw get the phone numbers of 25 different women over the course of one weekend.
The amazing part is that he and I were in an educational seminar the entire weekend…
In other words, we were busy MOST of the time… and he got those 25 phone numbers during breaks and evenings.
And I’d say that it took him an AVERAGE of about 5 or 7 minutes to get each one.
It blew my mind.
Is this guy rich? Does he look like Brad Pitt?
Nope.
You wouldn’t even notice him if he walked in front of you.
And if you want to learn HOW to do this… then I’ve got something important to tell you.
You need to check out my eBook, “Double Your Dating”, and my free Dating Secrets eLetter.
And you may have also noticed that the guy who wrote the letter featured in this newsletter, started off with “I just bought your book today…”.
That’s a hint.
If you haven’t downloaded your copy, then you need to do that IMMEDIATELY.
You can download it right now, and be reading it within a few minutes. It’s here:
I’ll talk to you again soon.
Dating
Dating is a part of human mating process whereby two people meet socially for companionship. beyond the level of friendship. or with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or marriage. It can be a form of courtship consisting of social activities done by the couple. While the term has several meanings, it usually refers to the act of meeting and engaging in some mutually agreed upon social activity in public, together, as a couple.
History [ edit ]
Dating as an institution is a relatively recent phenomenon which has mainly emerged in the last few centuries. From the standpoint of anthropology and sociology. dating is linked with other institutions such as marriage and the family which have also been changing rapidly and which have been subject to many forces, including advances in technology and medicine. As humans have evolved from hunter-gatherers into civilized societies and more recently into modern societies, there have been substantial changes in the relationship between men and women, with perhaps the only biological constant being that both adult women and men must have sexual intercourse for human procreation to happen. [ 3 ]
Humans have been compared to other species in terms of sexual behavior. Neurobiologist Robert Sapolsky constructed a reproductive spectrum with opposite poles being tournament species. in which males compete fiercely for reproductive privileges with females, and pair bond arrangements, in which a male and female will bond for life. [ 4 ] According to Sapolsky, humans are somewhat in the middle of this spectrum, in the sense that humans form pair bonds, but there is the possibility of cheating or changing partners. [ 4 ] These species-particular behavior patterns provide a context for aspects of human reproduction. including dating. However, one particularity of the human species is that pair bonds are often formed without necessarily having the intention of reproduction. In modern times, emphasis on the institution of marriage, generally described as a male-female bond, has obscured pair bonds formed by same-sex and transsexual couples, and that many heterosexual couples also bond for life without offspring, or that often pairs that do have offspring separate. Thus, the concept of marriage is changing widely in many countries.
Historically, marriages in most societies were arranged by parents and older relatives with the goal not being love but legacy and "economic stability and political alliances", according to anthropologists. [ 5 ] Accordingly, there was little need for a temporary trial period such as dating before a permanent community-recognized union was formed between a man and a woman. While pair-bonds of varying forms were recognized by most societies as acceptable social arrangements, marriage was reserved for heterosexual pairings and had a transactional nature, where wives were in many cases a form of property being exchanged between father and husband, and who would have to serve the function of reproduction. Communities exerted pressure on people to form pair-bonds in places such as Europe ; in China. according to sociologist Tang Can, society "demanded people get married before having a sexual relationship" [ 6 ] and many societies found that some formally recognized bond between a man and a woman was the best way of rearing and educating children as well as helping to avoid conflicts and misunderstandings regarding competition for mates.
Nikki Sixx Quotes
1. Motley Crue. collectively and individually, have done things on our own terms.
2. I harbored a lot of resentment as a teenager and as a young adult. I still have a problem with authority, I'm trying to listen!
4. I don't want to jump through hoops for people.
5. I forgive my mom for being a psycho and my dad for being a loser.
6. Some cats. Iggy Pop. they're going to always have that hunger.
7. What's the best angle to cut someone's throat? Well, usually from behind. That's usually how it works.
8. The book is really, really dark, to the point where some people that I've talked to have said that it could be a series. And I'm like, Where? VH1? It's a little hard for VH1.
9. Artists are very young, and say, Um, ok, to these industry dudes.
10. Each guy has his own space. We all end up in one of the other guy's rooms all the time. We always end up together, as far as people getting along.
11. Every day, I wake up, and the first thing I think of is my kids .
12. Formats are going to change because this is what the people want. It's not what the labels want.
13. How lucky can one guy get? I was a runaway, and then I was in one of the biggest bands in the world. I've sold out every arena. I've sold millions and millions of records.
14. I've got five kids and I'm married, Tommy 's got two kids and he's been married, Vince just got married again, Mick's out of a relationship, Tommy 's single as well. We've done a lot in our life, we've covered a lot of miles.
15. I've got so many mountains to climb and goals to conquer. I've got so many scars I want to leave on the planet. I just feel like I'm not there yet. I feel like I am just getting started.
16. If you actually dissect the lyrics in "Motley Crue ", you'll notice that there's a lot going on beneath the surface.
17. If you were on the phone with me and Tommy right now, we would probably forget you were there, we'd just be cracking jokes. It's like Beavis and Butthead.
18. It's about what happens on stage, whether we can deliver it in a hungry way that is who we are in our hearts.
19. If your album sells, that's cool, more people find out about you, more people get turned on to what we're really about-which is a live rock and roll band.
20. The industry is a menace to artists.
21. It's physically very, very, very trying to be onstage as a performer, not unlike an athlete, for thirty years.
22. My main camera is a Nikon D3. I use a French camera from the 1800s for wet plate photography, I use a Hasselblad sometimes. But to me the camera really doesn't matter that much. I don't have a preference for film or digital.
23. The music industry is saying: "This is the format, and if you'll fit into this format, you can be on radio, and if radio will play you, MTV will expose you, and MTV will expose you, we'll sell records".
24. There's a pattern when tours start - a pattern of infighting, of making up, of breaking up, of addiction. There's a pattern of going to jail. There's a pattern of passion for music.
25. There's nothing unique about me as a parent. I am a parent. My kids are kids. We do the best we can do.
26. There's so much history amongst ourselves that reminds us of something, and we start cracking up.
27. We did something this year that was not based on animosity.
28. We each have our own tour bus. We've never done that before.
29. We have a growing new fan base, and we wanted to get out now, and play now, and the timing was right.
30. You want to love unconditionally everything you do, or don't do it.
31. We were telling everybody we weren't getting back together when we were in the studio actually recording. We wanted to try it on, to see how it would fit.
32. Selling my soul would be a lot easier if I could just find it.
33. Addiction - When you can give up something any time, as long as it's next Tuesday.
Cocaine - Peruvian Marching Powder. A stimulant that has the extraordinary effect that the more you do, the more you laugh out of context.
Depression - When everything you laugh at is miserable and you can't seem to stop.
Heroin - A drug that helps you to escape reality, while making it much harder to cope when you are recaptured.
Psychosis - When everybody turns into tiny dolls and they have needles in their mouths and they hate you and you don't care because you have THE KNIFE. AHAHAHAHAHAHA!
34. When You've lost it all…that's when you realize that Life is Beautiful.
35. When you can't climb your way out of such a hole, you tend to crouch down and call it home…
36. There is something about spending Christmas alone, naked, sitting by the Christmas tree gripping a shotgun, that lets you know your life is spinning dangerously outta control.
37. I was so happy every morning when I woke up that I was pissing smiley faces.
38. You know, it's pretty easy reading this book to see why I was angry and confused for all those years. I lived my life being told different stories: some true, some lies and I still don't know which is which. Children are born innocent. At birth we are very much like a new hard drive - no viruses, no bad information, no crap that's been downloaded into it yet. It's what we feed into that hard drive, or in my case "head drive" that starts the corruption of the files.
39. Sometimes I think I should just buy a blow-up party doll. Same level of intelligence, plastic. and full of air. The problem is, I'd probably fall in love.
40. It would be too much for me to deal with to be sitting up there next to God, Bon Scott, Sid Vicious. and Jimi Hendrix. and hear somebody read my obituary from below:
"NIKKI SIXX DIED TODAY…F. GOLFING".
41. Which side of the blade is sharper? The lie or the truth? It all seems irrelevant when your jugular is sliced open and you’re lying in a pool of blood for the whole world to see.
42. Life is like a long ride to nowhere in particular.
43. There's nothing like a trail of blood to find your way back home.
44. Anything worth doing, is worth overdoing.
45. When you die, every single muscle in your body hurts. Your body has closed down because it thinks it's done, and when it gets rebooted, every inch of you hurts. Plus I'd had the shit beaten out of me with a baseball bat.
46. When you're sitting on a plane 40, 000 feet up in the air, looking out the window, dreaming of your future and how bright it appears to be, or maybe just watching the drops of rain being pushed into different designs from the force of air at 400 mph, well, life feels good. It feels safe, your seat belt is on and your feet are up. Then the oxygen masks fall, the plane jumps, snaps and jolts. People start to scream, babies burst out crying, people start praying all in time to the overhead announcement that we're gonna crash. Right then, as your life flashes before your eyes, you hear yourself say: "god, if you get me outta this one, I'll stop (insert lie here) forever." Right then the nose of the plane pulls up and the captain says: "Wow, that was a close one, folks. we're ok, we'll be landing in thirty minutes and we're all safe and sound, sorry for the scare…" That's how getting hooked on junk is, and when the kick is over you can't believe you ever got on that plane in the first place. The question is: "Will you ever fly again?"
48. Ozzy Osbourne and Motley Crue in New Orleans on Mardi Gras = bad idea!
49. My dick didn't seem to be aware that she was there. She kept asking me what was wrong, and I was so out of it that I thought she meant what was wrong with the world, so I started talking about global poverty and shit. I'm not surprised she left. I suspect she won't be coming back.
50. I used to think the only way to be truly alive is to confront your mortality.
51. People want to see the car crash instead of the race. But, when you're the one in the car that's crashing, it's not much fun. I'm enjoying the race.
52. Don't Take Anything Personally Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
53. Friends tell each other what nobody else is willing to tell you.
54. Love those who hurt you the most, because they are probably the ones closest to you. They, too, are on a path, and just like you they are learning to walk before they can fly. Imagine of everybody you hurt in life turned their backs on you? You would be playing a hell of a lot of solitaire. Love them no matter what.
55. Life can be cruel. It's been my struggle, my personal battle, my obsession to make people see that different isn't always bad.
56. Let go, and let God.
57. Stay beautiful, keep it ugly.
59. Just let it happen and, I promise you, all that is magic will appear.
61. Live in the moment. Moments make history.
62. The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying says that death is the graduation ceremony, while living is just a long course in learning and preparing for the next journey. If we acknowledge death as the beginning, then how can we fear it?
65. I carry my crucifix under my death-list, forward my mail to me in hell!
66. If all you're doing is remembering the past, there's something wrong with your life.
67. Welcome to my f. life!
68. You can paint a garbage can platinum but it's still a garbage can.
69. Even when I tried to fit in, I couldn't.
70. I'm always willing to put myself in harm's way for the betterment of chaos, confusion and rebellion.
74. The lines I wrote in "Home Sweet Home" in 1985 are as true today as they were back then.
76. When I found heroin. I found a way to kill the f. confusion.
77. I was 14 years old when I had my mother arrested .
78. My soon-to-be ex-wife got pregnant the one time in the year we actually had sex.
79. Even as a kid I was never inclined to dodge a bullet. I was always the first one to take it right between the eyes.
80. Tommy (Lee) has these old Betamax cameras, I found, like, thirty tapes! One was called "Mick Pissing on an Old Lady's Leg in Italy" and another "Robbing Grave in England."
81. Dude, I've seen it all. If you're getting some pussy and you don't wrap that m. you are going to die. It's not like in the good old days. I used to sleep with everything. All I would do is get a shot of penicillin or something to get rid of the bugs.
82. Went to a psychiatrist and told him that life on drugs was better than this.
83. When Motley got big, we would f. anybody and everybody, and usually did.
84. I'm sober, and I'm sick. I'm sick in the head. And all that support and all that great stuff around me allows my artistic side to be even more demented.
85. Vince tore up his calf, Mick has the degenerative bone disease and then Tommy. Everyone's taking bets on when I go down.
86. I tried to go to Bangkok in '87, and our management wouldn't let me, they said: "Bottom line, Nikki - you'll die. We know you."
87. You know what's not glamorous? Throwing up and shitting at the same time during junk withdrawal.
88. To use a cliche: I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
89. I came to in a hospital bed. There was a cop asking me questions, so I told him to go f. himself.
90. I guess you know you're insane when you are lying to yourself in your own diary.
91. The trouble with asking questions is you sometimes get answers you don't wanna hear.
92. I was writing some pretty lame songs and nobody dared tell me they sucked. Were they scared to challenge me? Looking back, I don't blame them.
93. Pain hurts, but we hardly ever die from it.
94. My music and my fans are enough, just like it should be.
95. Motley Crue was always about music and girls. music and drugs. and music and violence. We wanted to be the biggest, dirtiest, loudest rock band on the planet.
97. People over the years have tried to soften blow by saying maybe being is Motley Crue turned me into an addict. but I don't think it did. That stroke of genius was all my own work.
98. And, you know, there's a brutality to us when we're together.
99. We go to do the Billboard Music Awards to be a presenter, and we walk on stage, and we get a standing ovation from the industry.
100. If you've crashed a sports car worth $300,000 while getting blown by a Playmate. you've just about done everything…
101. I remember the first time I got laid, I was 13. That was pretty wild. We used to get it on in the back of her parents' car at the church.
102. One man's ceiling is another man's floor.
103. I enjoy writing different styles…I know a lot of rock fans don't like that concept.
104. Music feeds me…
105. My wife thinks I'm nuts.
106. I was going out with this psycho bitch named Vanity for a while. She gave the concept of murder a whole new meaning. I was voting to legalize it!
107. You might as well learn about sex from Motley Crue than your parents because it's a lot more interesting.
108. I was a volatile kid who did not like to be told off, even when I was wrong .
109. For me, it was a war: I had angst dripping out of my pores.
110. You either like the band or you don't like the band. It's not the band trying to make you like them. It's the band doing what they do. And that's our strong point.
111. Doing the whole Heroin Diaries project really helped me to focus on a specific issue. Like, instead of writing a love song, make it about a moment. Make it about the kiss.
112. Bruce Dickinson used to hate me because I f. his wife.
113. Sometimes things are so close that you just can't see them.
114. I believe that you can be cool as f. not give a f. and f. kick ass in life, and not be f. up.
115. I had overdosed after a show in London and been left for dead in a garbage dumpster.
119. And there's one thing that we all agree on in the band, which is: It's more important to have a great record than to rush getting it out.
122. If my balls were on your chin, where would my dick be?
123. Hi. It's Nikki. I'm not here right now because I'm dead.
126. The true heavy metal, hard rock. sleazy rock 'n' roll followers are the kids in the streets, like me and you.
127. Hey, Motley Crue is simply a mirror. We reflect what we see.
128. I think Motley Crue has broken down a lot of barriers as far as what you can get away with. I don't think people will soon forget us because we are true to our art. We live and breathe it.
129. Love me lower…
130. Let's all chant…we hate Nikki Sixx.
131. For ten years, we've had things happened, but you have to stay together and make great music. If we broke up and tried to get together in five years, it would just never be the same. You just have to stay together.
132. I hate things that are diluted - I mean, you don't mix Jack Daniels with Coke. That's a sin!
133. You could buy the biggest houses man. Tha't wont get you off. It's the music! People forget that.
134. It's amazing I remember anything!
135. President George Washington used to wear a wig and makeup. I mean, c'mon. If he could do, I can do it.
136. Everybody is kinky. we're just admitting we're sick.
137. When you've tasted excess, everything else tastes bland.
138. When Motley Crue is playing, you shut the f. up!
No comments:
Post a Comment